IWS Babe of the Week: Gretchen Carlson, The Joan of Arc in the War on Christmas

Last night, Jayman and I had a rousing good time entertaining the masses on the IWS Black Saturday Radio show, as we kicked off yet another year of the War on Christmas.

From the beginning of our intro song, to our final thoughts, one hot lady was on our minds throughout the broadcast.

That lady would be former Miss America, full-time Christian, and Fox and Friends keystone of intellect and insight, Gretchen Carlson...

As we begin the Christmas season, we at IWS raise a toast to the Maiden of Messianic Merchandising, who refuses to silence her God-given tongue in speaking out against those in the form of Atheists, Secularists, and Festivus followers who choose to diss the Holy Baby Jeebus...

She's hot...She's heavenly, and somehow, she graduated from Stanford...She's Gretchen Carlson...

And we love her.

Cheers, and let the Baby Jeebus-Hatin' Barbarians be stopped at the gates.

Matt-Man

Are You Ready for Some Football: ESPN Drop Kicks Hank Williams, Jr. to the Curb

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Kiss Mah Ass, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!

Hank Williams Jr. here for I’m With Stupid.

I reckon by now y’all heard that ESPN and their wet nurses at ABC have dropped me and my, “Are You Ready for Some Football?” song from the opening of Monday Night Football.

Ohhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhhh, Hmmmmm-huh.

I was on Fox and Friends the other morning talking to that chick with the molasses face and those two horses’ asses, when I said some things that offended some of the folks of the Liberal persuasion.  Hmmmmm-uh.

I told Gretchen Carlson that Obama and Boehner playing golf together was akin to Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu.  Network suits and Cypress huggin’ crybabies were barkin’ like hound dogs with their tails ‘neath a John Deere mower because I ‘ledgedly compared Obama to Hitler with my remark.  Hmmmmm-uh.

Evidentially, my ironical humor was lost on those East Coast eggheads.  

See, the jocularity of my statement lies in that fact that not a single damn private country club in America would allow a Jew like Netanyahu to even play a round on their golf course. Do I gots to ‘splain everything to y’all?

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Boceeeephus, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!  Anyways…

I went on to call Obama, “the enemy”…Well Hell, c’monnnnn folks…Obama is nothing but a sham of a President, and an illegitimate political plant sent by those who would harm the U. S. of A.  

Do you think it’s a coincidence that a little over a year after his white mama and Kenyan baby daddy gave birth to Obama that the political suspense movie starring Frank Sinatra came out?  

Man, what was that movie called…um….The Hungarian Candidate, yeah that‘s it.  Hmmmmm-huh.

If that's just a damn "coincidence", Alabama ain't the best college football team in the U. S. of A.

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Bear Bryant, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!

Hell…If you were’s to knock me on anythin I said during that interview, knock me for calling Obama and Biden, “The Three Stooges.”  

I may be a simple God-Lovin’ country boy, but I do know two from three.  That miscue weren’t my calculations; it was the Jack Daniels figurin’.

And…Let that be a lesson to ya, all you youngins out there.  Drinkin’ and Cipherin’ don’t mix.

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Hole Numbers, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!  Anyhollar…

That’s what got me into trouble with ESPN…It’s a damn shame, ‘cause y’know?

I remember back in the day when ESPN stood for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network.  Today?

I guess it stands for Estrogen-laden, Skirt and Panty-wearin’ Nuckleheads!!  Hmmmmm-huh.  Anyhoodle…

I may appear Saturday night on Matt-Man and Jayman’s IWS radio show…haven’t decided yet.  

I guess they're gonna talk about that chick who was in the dago jail…talk about some dude named Yom Kippur, and perhaps touch on Columbus Day which honors the day in 1492 when Hispanolians were introduced to Europeans, Small Pox, and Syphilis.

M’eh…We’ll see.  Anyway…

I have to goin's sleep off my second of five daily hangovers, so if you need me, you can contact Matt-Man at:

neshobadude@yahoo.com

http://twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS

And remember…

Yeeeee Hawwwww, FOX Rawks, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!