Whitney Houston Dies and Social Media Freaks Out

Hola! Well, another celebrity has died unexpectedly (kinda) and once again it has been fascinating to pop some popcorn, open a beer and just sit back and watch Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook lose their collective shit. It’s fast becoming my favorite activity. I almost wish a celebrity would die every week just so I could enjoy the reaction. But, that would make me a bad person, so I don’t. Okay, how ‘bout every two weeks?

Anyway, when things like this happen, I’ve found that most people fall into one or more of several categories…

1. The Biggest Fan: This is the person, usually a girl, who does the “You guys just don’t understand how much I loved *insert name of recently deceased celebrity here*. I was sooooo much more of a fan than you were.”

2. The “Who” Guy: This is the guy who retweets the breaking news announcement with a dismissive “Who?” He’s usually the guy who loves to tell everyone how he doesn’t follow any popular movies, TV shows, sports, books, music or any other pop culture, probably doesn’t own a TV and is in general just way fucking superior to you. He usually uses a Mac and does most of his online activity while squatting at Starbucks. 

3. The Judgy McJudgerson: This is the guy or girl who basically makes the argument that the celebrity deserved to die because they were engaging in illegal or immoral activities. This person is not the same as, but has lots in common with…

4. The “Pathetic” Guy: This is the guy or girl who loves to mock celebrities because they’re all pathetic and are all addicted to drugs and alcohol. As if celebrities are the only people who are. 

5. Sanctimonious Guy (or Girl): This is the person who is quick to post things like “Well, I’ll say a prayer for the thousands of everyday people who died today who aren’t celebrities and don’t get any publicity.” Or worse, the guy (or girl) posts that or something similar but includes a picture of flag draped coffins of soldiers who have died in battle. What’s really terrible about this person is they’re full of shit. Almost none of them have ever said a prayer for all the “regular” people who have died that day including soldiers.

6. Tweeter Guy (or Girl): This is the person who just retweets updates as they’re posted by TMZ or other Breaking News Twitter Account. Just in case others haven’t heard the latest.

7. The Always Late Guy (or Girl): This is the person who either retweets a Breaking News tweet about the celebrity’s death about 6 hours after everyone else first heard about it or just tweets “OMG! Whitney Houston Died???????” during the Grammy’s 30 hours after her death.

8. Gilbert Gottfried Wannabe: This person, usually a guy, just spends the night trying to come up with the most offensive and disrespectful jokes to make about the dead celebrity. Usually these people suck, but occasionally, they’re actually kind of funny. But, the worst of these people are the ones who take other people’s jokes they saw on Twitter and post them on Tumblr as their own. Those people deserve to die.

9. Page View and Ratings Guy: This is the guy who makes up lists about social media when celebrities like Whitney Houston die just to get page views on his blog or listens on his podcast. Man, that guy sucks.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

Celebrity Death Pool 2012

Hola Bitches and welcome to 2012. How was your New Year’s Weekend? That’s great! Really? Wow! Dude was hung like a donkey! Well, I’m glad you’re happy. Oh mine? It was … nice. We had an excellent New Year’s Eve Party on I’m With Stupid Saturday night. It was lots of fun and games and all that. Then, I called into Dr. Mike’s and Warrior Kat’s show and we brought in the New Year in style. So, the Jayman had some excitement of his own this weekend. Oh yeah!

Anyway, as is tradition here on the IWS Blog, on the first post of the New Year, I publish my Celebrity Death Pool. This is the list of celebrities and pseudo-celebrities who I believe will kick the bucket in 2012. Now, I’m not saying I WANT these people to die. I’m just saying I think they WILL.

2012 Celebrity Death Prediction:

We’ll start with the people I put on the list every year because they are either very old or have a very high risk lifestyle:

- Abe Vigoda

- Wilford Brimely

- Keith Richards

- Betty White

- Ernest Borgnine

- Betty White

- Larry King

- Lindsay Lohan

- Leif Garrett

- Jim Cantore

Next we’ll list some people who have been very sick and are probably not going to make it:

- Aretha Franklin

- Etta James

- Larry Hagman

- Muhammad Ali

- Michael Douglas

- Nancy Reagan

- Margaret Thatcher

- Joe Paterno

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

- Robin Gibb

Of course, we’re about due for another former president to pass away. I think I’ll go with George H. W. Bush. I know his being the oldest makes this an obvious pick, but it’s really just a personal preference guess.

The only group left would be people who are young and/or healthy and don’t seem likely to die. These are the hardest ones to predict. (see: Phoenix, River and Ledger, Heath) So, they may seem like a stretch, but just remember anything is possible.

- Jennifer Aniston: Freak hairstyling accident.

- Dakota Fanning: She’s right in the drug experimenting accident age range.

- Nicolas Cage: Crazy people die crazy.

- Pitbull: There has to be a rapper on the list, right?

- Ralphie May: Many comedians live fast and die young.

- Lady Ga Ga: It just wouldn’t be her style not to.

- Andy Samberg: Young comedian AND SNL cast member? He’s toast.

- Heather Graham: The Brittany Murphy category

- Robert Pattinson: The Heath Ledger category

- Brandon Marshall: Gotta have an athlete on the list too.

Okay, so that about covers it. There’s my prediction for who is mostly like to die in 2012. Of course, I hope none of them do.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook: Jayman68
Twitter: Jayman_IWS

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In other news, as I mentioned earlier, we held a very special New Year’s Eve Party on I’m With Stupid. It was pretty much non-stop fun and jocularity. We came up with some great predictions for 2012, took calls and just reveled in the fun and excitement of the New Year.

So, give it a listen and relive that great night over and over again with us. 

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