Facebook...A Gateway To Cowardice

Happy Friiiiiiiiiday Bitches and welcome to the weekend on I’m With Stupid!!

Oh what a week it has been and let me tell you…if past is prologue, I have one fucked up future on my hands.  Or, possibly not.  Or…well, you decide.

I have many pet peeves, but one reared its ugly head last night, and by that, I mean, late last night which pissed me off, because I write in the moment and had to stay topical so I had to…

Erase my initial post and…oh sorry…Delete my initial post, and start over.

Anyhoo…

Something transpired over an innocuous Facebook post yesterday, that sent me into a tizzy.  And, if you don’t know what a tizzy is…

It is a state of heightened, what the fuckness. Anyway, a chick that I was close to up til’ some TWENTY-SEVEN years ago, commented on my Facebook page over a picture I posted.

Her response was funny and was in keeping with, her penchant for comedy, which proceeded a few more funny comments which were posted by others and then…?

Her comment was gone.

My old High School girlfriend deleted her comment.  It pissed me off.  It made me angry, and most importantly…

It made my most funny comeback to HER comment look as though I was talking to myself.  I hate that!!

The deletion of her comment made me angry because it revealed to me, something that I had always known.

People are fucking dicks.

And the worst thing?

People who are the closest, or at least used to be the closest, are the biggest dicks of all.

The chick who deleted her comment, gave me some lame excuse that it wasn’t worded well, and that’s why she did it.

Well, ten minutes after she typed that, and a like later, she “discovered” that.  Gimme a break.  She just doesn’t want to cause waves within her relationship.  And seriously, that’s fine, and if that is what it takes, have at it.

However…

If you are in a relationship with a person who doesn’t understand that women and men have been, will be, and can be friends with people from their past, present, and future in spite of their opposite gender, than really, do you really want to be part of their less than complex mentality?

I strike the theme with my friend as an example, but have seen it all too many times in others.

If a person loves you, they love you.

If they don’t?  They don’t.  It really is that simple.

A person can try to keep away other assumed suitors, interlopers, and tempters and temptresses, but in the end?

She loves you, and you love her; or you don’t.

In the meantime, there’s no reason to label a person who would like to talk to an old buddy, a threat.

Cheers!!
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

Rebound Relationships: Leave Them to the Professionals

Hello and Happy Monday to all of you warm and wonderful I’m With Stupid fans, and fine folks everywhere.

Right now you are probably asking yourselves…

“Who is this man of quasi-handsome, yet non-threatening good looks….of nebulous ethnicity, of youngish age, and indeterminate tax bracket, religious affiliation, or social status?”

Well, IWS friends…

My name is Bryan DeBroun and I am the official Rebound Relationship Guy of I’m With Stupid.

Along with the dozens of hot chicks who know me, many of you men know me, as well…well, many of you with ex-girlfriends anyway.

Oh sure, you may not know me as Bryan DeBroun, but know me rather as the guy into whose arms your most recent, yet now former and broken-hearted ex-girlfriend fell while seeking solace and harbor from the emotional upheaval of your break-up.

Over my lifetime, I have been many things to many women…a shoulder on which to cry, a friendly face with which to share a long sought after laugh, as well as a Freudian Surgeon who can repair a shattered ego.

While I cherish my lot in life as Rebound Relationship Guy, it is one that does not come without its difficulties and risks to both mind and body.

For instance…Now that I have revealed my identity, I’m sure that there are more than a few of you guys reading this, that want to track me down and beat the living shit out of me.

Please…I am not the guy upon whom you should exact your violent and infinite justice.  Nooooo.

I am but a mere teller of hopeful tales, a spinner of feel good yarns, and court jester to those ladies in need of a few weeks of faux love in order to rebuild their feline fiefdoms of sexual prowess and femininity within their core being.

You see guys?  I am not here to replace you permanently.  Hell, I don’t have the staying power nor the desire for that.  I am simply here to put your ex-gal on track.  To right her ship…To wish her "Bon Love-age", and send her back to the sea of singleness with a firm and even keel upon her stern.

I am not some diabolical emotional rapist who preys upon the vulnerabilities of a woman who has recently gone through the heartbreak and troubled waters of a romantic split.  Quite the contrary.

In fact, I am the Bridge Over Troubled Water that prevents the ladies from falling into the rushing waters of the abyss while helping them to reach the other side.

And guys, to reiterate my point, it’s the guy she meets at the other end of the bridge that you want to beat the shit out of, not me.

Now I know some of you are saying…

“Jesus Christ, DeBroun.  I don’t care what you say.  You are doing this for the rebound sex!!”

Not true…I rarely have sex with the rebound chicks.  We typically engage in tight hugs for her reassurance. A friendly swat on the ass, in order to let her know she’s still attractive, and mutual giggling as I innocently look in on her as she showers and ask her what she would like for breakfast.

In full IWS disclosure however…

There have been times during my myriad of 4-6 week rebound relationships that over our third bottle of wine while watching Steel Magnolias during the part where Julia Roberts dies, that I have innocently and inadvertently brought up how the chick’s last guy pushed her down the stairs, set fire to the stuffed animal he won for her at the amusement park, or got drunk at her mom’s funeral.

Whenever I make a slip up like that, they seem to want to cry, be held, kiss, and then just roll wet and naked with it.  It’s wacky, but I promise, never pre-meditated on my part.

Well my friends…I just wanted to say hi, introduce myself, and let you know that I am here to help you out should you need to rebound.

To all the guys, keep your chins up and fists off of mine, and to all the ladies out there…

When it's time to cross that bridge, remember...I am that bridge.

With the Deepest of Temporary Love,

Bryan DeBroun

email:  neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter:  @mattmaniws

And folks...Jayman interviewed the Matt-Man live on I'm With Stupid Saturday night. If you want to listen to a gut wrenching, deep, yet hilarious interview, give it a listen. It is 45 minutes of stellarosity...

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Mr. Advice Giver

Hola Bitches! You know, one of the burdens/benefits of being a world famous internet radio host is that people often times write me for advice. Now, I try not to get too involved in the lives of the little people, but I am a man full of deep thought and wisdom, and I guess that really shines through here and on the show. Every once in a while I feel that I should help a few people out and hopefully others who have the same problems will get some help too. So here are a few emails I have received recently from people in need of good advice…

“Hey Jay, this might seem like I’m overanalyzing things, but I need your advice on something. There’s this chick I met on the internet who I’m kind of smitten with and I’ve been trying work slow so as to not mess things up. I haven’t been getting much feedback and I’ve been worried it’s because she didn’t like me.

Then I sent her a “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” email and tried to make it pretty clear that I wish I was spending the holidays with her without saying anything too corny, you know? Anyway, she emails me back thanking me and then says “I hope you get everything you deserve in the New Year.”

At first I thought this was really nice, but now I’m wondering what she meant by “deserve.” I mean, if she doesn’t like me and thinks I’m a creep, she might think I deserve to have my ass kicked by some gang members or something. What do you think? Was her holiday wish good or bad?”

- Worried Willy in Wilmington

Dear Willy, I’m afraid you’re fucked. More than likely she thinks you’re a weasely stalker type who is too much of a pussy to just come out tell her how you feel. She figures she would be able to walk all over you and women hate that. Best thing to do is to send her an email telling her that you’re sick and tired of the way she treats you like shit and you can do so much better than ghetto trash like her. She’ll rent a car or get a plane ticket to come visit you and beg you to be her man.

“Hola Jayman! I have a major decision to make and you’re the only one who can help me out. I’m a high school senior and I have to decide between the Air Force Academy and West Point. Which one should I go with?”

- Patriotic Paul in Peoria

Dear Paul, more like “Pretentious Paul” amirite? That email was the most pathetic HumbleBrag email ever. But, in the outside chance that you aren’t just trying to remind me of my past and present academic and professional failures, I would say go with the Air Force. The army might send you to some pretty unsavory locations while you could get stationed somewhere really mysterious and exotic in the air force like Minot, ND.

“Jayman! I need your help sooooooooo bad! I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and we finally started having sex. But, there’s a problem. He’s really HUGE. I mean freaking HUNG dude. And, it just isn’t comfortable for me. I don’t know what to do? Will it get better?”

- Sore Sherry in Sheridan

Dear Sherry. Leave him now before you become more attached to him. It won’t get any better at all. His best option is to just admit that he’s gay and come on out of the closet. I know this is shocking, but we all know that all men who are really well endowed are gay. It’s a proven fact.

So, there you have it folks. As you can see I’m a brilliant advice giver and am great about staying completely impartial and never let my emotions or biases get the better of me. So, if you have any big dilemmas that you’re facing, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me and I’ll do the best I can to help you out.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook: Jayman68
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS