Showing posts with label Asian Babes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Asian Babes. Show all posts

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Why Asian Chicks Rule


Hola bishes! So, I have often times been asked what it is I love so much about Asian chicks. Normally, I’m asked this question by bitter, angry middle aged white women whose best days are behind them. Of course, I’m always taken aback by these questions because I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t love Asian chicks.

They’re Substantive: Unlike their white counterparts, Asian chicks are not superficial and shallow. They are women of substance. They educate themselves and prefer to be known for the things they accomplish in the intellectual and artistic fields rather than just being famous only for being famous.

They’re Thoughtful and Considerate: Asian girls aren’t self-absorbed like most white women are. Asian chicks actually think about others more than they do themselves. They genuinely care about your wellbeing and don’t find a way to make everything about them like white chicks do. Asian chicks are actually capable of feeling empathy for other people and aren’t dismissive of others. They’re sweet, caring and never rude and hateful like white chicks.

They’re Exotic: While white women tend to be pretty basic, Asians are often times very exotic. Their beautiful shiny black hair and smoldering dark eyes are just down right sexy. Not to mention their perfect little bums and beautiful legs. They don’t have to pile on makeup and have tons of cosmetic surgeries to look any certain way. Asian women are just so naturally alluring that they don’t have to do anything other than just be themselves to be sexy.

White Women Hate Them: If you want to get white women all riled up, just talk about how hawt Asian Chicks are. Nothing makes a white woman lose it faster than that. They start screaming uncontrollably about how much they hate Asian Chicks and start calling them names and insulting them. It’s really sad to see that kind of jealously and racism from anyone and only serves to prove the overall superiority of Asian girls as they would NEVER speak so horribly about white chicks in the same manner. And let me tell ya kids, I will get LOTS of flack over this post, but I don’t care. The truth hurts sometimes.

They Have a Sense of Humor: Asian chicks are funny. They love to laugh. And, most importantly they think I’m funny. Sure, some white chicks are funny, but usually it’s a “mean funny.” You know, they can only be funny by making fun of others or saying mean things about others. However, Asian chicks are genuinely funny and can make jokes about anything at all and don’t have to resort to belittling others.

Asian Chicks are Loving and Accepting: Again, unlike white chicks, Asian women accept people for who they are. They don’t demand people act or look a certain way. They see the inner goodness and beauty of others. This is something most white women just don’t understand. White women make all kinds of demands on people and try to force people to fit their idea of what they should be. Asian women asses who you are accept that and love you for you and what you are without condition. THIS is really the most important reason that Asian chicks totally rule!

So, as you can see, there really isn’t much argument to this. Asian chicks totally freaking rule. While it is true that there are a few white chicks who rock too, mostly ones who are really talented, smart or mixed race, most of them just don’t stack up to the overall awesomeness of Asian babes.


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In other news yesterday on IWS Matt-Man and I broke down and analyzed The Hunger Games like no one else ever has. Then we discussed things that we hunger for and let me tell, that was a pretty impressive list of stuff from the tangible to the “oh you’re just dreaming now.” It was another quality 45 minutes of Awesome Sauce that will satisfy all your hungers. Hell, this show was so damn good that even Dana got her first ever “Hey-OOOO.” So, how could you not listen? You gotta!  



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Monday, July 18, 2011

Hope Chokes, IWS Jokes ...



On Sunday night, with the entire world watching, American superstar goalkeeper, the darling of the American sports media stood in front of the net awaiting one last onslaught from the Japanese. This set piece would likely be Japan’s last shot at an equalizer. One more play from the best goalkeeper in the world is all America needed for a World Cup win and the return of the Unites States Women’s National Team to their God-Given spot on top of the soccer (futbol) world. 

But, it was not to be. A perfect corner kick, followed by a laser shot off the foot of Homare Sawa left Hope Solo and the Americans stunned and the game headed for penalty kicks.  There was really no doubt about what was to come next. 

Despite all the hype from the media, and bravado from Solo herself, it was Japan’s Ayumi Kaihori who made the big saves.  It was a striking contrast between the two. Solo was the flashy and brash statuesque beauty that was ready to cash in on her fame back home. Kaihori was the diminutive, spikey haired and unassuming opposite who only needed a plaid shirt and Birkenstocks to complete “the look.” 

How could this happen? Team USA had everything going for them. Confidence. Talent. And the fact that they, as all American teams, were the hardest working, most fit, most competitive team in the history of World Cup play. Plus, as was pointed out by many after the Tsunami that hit Japan earlier this year, America had God on their side. But, happen it did.
Maybe Japan was actually the team of destiny? Maybe it was their turn and maybe God decided they deserved a big win for once. After the Nagasaki and Hiroshima bombs. After the Godzilla attacks starting in the 50’s.  After the economic disasters of the 90’s. And the Tsunami and meltdown at the Fukushima nuclear plant, maybe it was finally time for Japan to win something and have something to celebrate?
Nawwwwww. Hope Solo choked.*  LeBron James style.

Anyhoodle, this morning on I’m With Stupid, the Matt-Man and I hit on the USWNT’s Debacle in Deutschland as well as Fox News’ repeatedly pointing out that Barack Obama Mitt Romney is “Obviously not a Christian” and other brilliant moments brought to us by the meeting of Mensa Minds that is Fox and Friends. We also talked a bit about good old Herman Cain and Marcus Bachmann’s alleged gayness. Now, it should be pointed out that WE aren’t making any accusations. We just pointed out that Marcus has a lot of show tunes on his iPod and owns the first two seasons of Glee on DVD.  We report and you decide.
So, if you have nothing better to do, and even if you do, give us a listen using the fancy-schmancy BTR player below.  We think you’ll have a pretty good time. As always, we thank you for your support.
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*Even so, congrats to Japan on their thrilling victory. I was much deserved.