I Fail at Earth Day

Hola you dirty hippies out to save the Earth!

Sunday, April 22 was Earth Day. Did you know that? I did. Okay, I only did because the Twitter Machine told me it was. I check Twitter’s trending topics several times a day to see what’s happening in the world and to find out if anyone important has died.

But, sometimes Twitter is wrong about who has died. The other night Twitter was claiming that Axl Rose had died. All the major media outlets assured everyone that Axl wasn’t dead. I assume that’s the case, but Axl never replied to my tweet checking on him, so I’m still not so sure.

Anyway, yesterday was Earth Day and this seems like a good time to go through some of the things we can all do to protect the Earth and save energy and see if I’m doing a good job. 

To save energy you should…

- Use cloth towels and rags to clean instead of paper towels.

- Turn the air up to 78 or 80 at night or when you leave the house in the summer.

- Open windows in the mornings in the summer.

- Open curtains and blinds in the winter to let the sun help heat the house.

- Recycle

- Turn off unnecessary lights during the day

- Install low flow shower heads

- Don’t run dishwashers that aren’t completely full and then air dry.

- Remove clothes from the dryer, clean lint and run the next load immediately.

- Walk or bike to run errands that are a very short distance away.

So, how’d I do? Well, uh … here’s my Sunday:

- Turned on electric blanket at 5 am, let run full 10 hours to auto shutoff after I got up at 8.

- Installed a showerhead that actually increases the water flow for massaging purposes.

- Top rack of the dishwasher was only half full.

- I leave clothes in the dryer and run it again for 10 mins to get wrinkles out.

- Turned the air down to cool the studio during I’m With Stupid live podcast.

- Turned a fan on in the studio too.

- Fired up both the desktop and laptop so I don’t have to change window sizes.

- Muted the TV during the show instead of turning it off.

- Drove to the mailbox which is about 1/4 mile round trip with the air & radio on.

- I never separate my garbage or recycle. It all goes in the dumpster together.

Then I spent the rest of the day on the computer and watching TV. I even had the TV and computer fired up when I took a little power nap. Hell, even the lights were on. And the air and fan combined to keep it a cool, comfortable 67 degrees.

So, basically what I’m saying here is it’s pretty much up to you guy to save the Earth because apparently I fail at it.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

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In other news our “But Seriously Folks” show this morning was a freaking classic! We were viciously attacked last week by someone close to us. We were called “childish and immature” as well as being told we “suck.” We had no choice but to respond to this outrageous and hurtful attack. And respond we did!

We talked about using humor to make a serious point. We talk about how our impressions of Dick Clark and Kirk Douglass, which are intended to entertain the masses, are taken as “mocking.” And THEN our attacker came on to back up her claims. What happened at that point is rather shocking! You gotta check this one out guys! 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XXII

מאט מדבר, מדבר ג'יי, אתה מקשיב.

Matt: “Thank you for calling our happy home, Matt speaking.”
Jay: “Hi drunk, I’m Matt.”
Matt: “My God man, the sun hasn’t even set!”
Jay: “Is that a problem?”
Matt: “Don’t you have any social graces?”
Jay: “I reject society’s arbitrary unwritten rules.”
Matt: “I guess I just come from a better class of people.”
Jay: “You and Willard Romney.”
Matt: “Noooo … The Romney’s are so uncouth, I’m more like the Rothschild’s”

Matt: “We have a new mascot down at the Beer Mine.”
Jay: “Oh really? Is it of the blow up variety?”
Matt: “You sick fuck. No, it’s a stray cat who has adopted us.”
Jay: “Awwww how sweet.”
Matt: “She is sweet. I named her ‘Depot’ in honor of the name of the Mine.”
Jay: “That’s pretty clever. Did you get her some cat food?”
Matt: “Oh yeah, she’s got a food and water dish.”
Jay: “Does she have a little bed to sleep on.”
Matt: “Yup, she sleeps in the bathroom at night.”
Jay: “Cool. I can’t stand to see animals suffer.”
Matt: “Me neither.”

Jay: “Last Saturday’s show finally showed up in the rankings.”
Matt: “I know, but I still think we’re getting screwed.”
Jay: “You know, I was thinking.”
Matt: “Jay, beer thoughts are usually bad thoughts.”
Jay: “No, no this is good.”
Matt: “Alright.”
Jay: “You’ve got over 300 ‘friends’ on Facebook, right?”
Matt: “Yeah, and I know where you’re going here.”
Jay: “Combined we have like 500 friends.”
Matt: “And if they all just HIT PLAY we would move further up the board.”
Jay: “And get more exposure resulting in even MORE plays.”
Matt: “They wouldn’t even have to listen if they didn’t want to.”
Jay: “Exactly! Even though they should cause we’re fucking funny.”
Matt: “Oh hell yes. But, they could listen once, and then just play a second time.”
Jay: “Right, even I don’t listen to us twice.”
Matt: “Noooo ... Usually I turn it on and say ‘Shut up assholes!’”
Jay: “Yeah, I yell ‘Not these fucking guys again!’ at the computer.”
Matt: “Anyway, hitting #1 once would be cool.”
Jay: “I know. And those 9 or 10 shows ahead of us all suck.”
Matt: “Have you listened to them?”
Jay: “No. I’m just bitter because I’ve never been #1 in anything.”
Matt: “No more beer for you.”
Jay: “Why?”
Matt: “Because you’re drinking SADdweiser.”

Jay: “What are we talking about on Saturday’s show?”
Matt: “Why women suck?”
Jay: “That’s perfect. A couple more beers and I’ll have enough material by myself.”
Matt: “Okay Jay, that’s really enough drinking for today.”
Jay: “You’re not my mother.”
Matt: “Time to take a nap.”
Jay: “I don’t need a nap.”
Matt: “No, I was talking about me.”
Jay: “Oh! Nite, nite.”
Matt: “Goodnight.”

So there you go folks. Genius in action. Also, don’t forget to listen to I’m With Stupid on Saturday at 11 PM ET as we talk about Why Women Suck!

Matt Said, Jay Said XIII

Matt and Jay talk sometimes. Their conversations are fascinating. 

Matt: “THE RINGING NOISE JUST WON’T STOP!”
Jay: “Did you take your meds this morning?”
Matt: “Schmoop sets my pills out on the counter for me each morning.”
Jay: “Just like she does your clothes.”
Matt: “She has a very nice fashion sense.”

Jay: “Tons of new people on our Facebook Fan Page.”
Matt: “Yeah, nice flurry of activity.”
Jay: “Where’d they all come from?”
Matt: “I sent out invites.”
Jay: “Oh, so a bunch of Ohio Ruffians?”
Matt: “Nothing but good-hearted people.”
Jay: “I hope they don’t steal anything.”
Matt: “Now that was totally uncalled for!”

Jay: “Oh damn, check out who joined this morning.”
Matt: “OOOOH YEAH! I saw her.”
Jay: “I like the pic of her playing pool.”
Matt: “I like a girl who can handle a stick.”
Jay: “She can chalk my cue stick anytime.”
Matt: “She could hustle me.”
Jay: “Ha! We should do this for an entire show sometime.”
Matt: “We could. It would be pretty funny.”
Jay: “Just go to some chick’s Facebook page and talk about her while drooling over her pics.”
Matt: “Nothing creepy about that at all.”
Jay: “Well, we won’t name names or anything.”
Matt: “Too late. The Creepy Train has already left the station.”

Jay: “Guess you saw what Ashton Kutcher tweeted about Penn State?”
Matt: “Yes, that idiot.”
Jay: “Now he’s gonna quit tweeting or something.”
Matt: “If I was married to Demi Moore I wouldn’t have time to tweet.”
Jay: “There would definitely be better things to do.”
Matt: “Unless I’m tweeting pics of Demi.”
Jay: “Or Tweet “I just woke up next to Demi Moore and you didn’t.”
Matt: “Just took a shower: WITH DEMI MOORE.”
Jay: “Just staying in tonight … WITH DEMI MOORE!”
Matt: “Pizza and a movie … WITH DEMI MOORE!”
Jay: “Boring life, going to bed early … WITH DEMI MOORE!”
Matt: “Going shopping … WITH DEMI MOORE!”
Jay: “Playing naked Twister … WITH DEMI MOORE!”

*BTW, the previous exchange works just as well with many other famous women like Sofia Vergara, Scarlett Johansson and a whole host of others.

Matt: “We could talk about stay at home moms on this week’s show?”
Jay: “Or just celebrate women in general, must like we just were … kinda.”
Matt: “Oh yeah! We could do that. We love women.”
Jay: “Exactly! Talking about something we love makes the show better.”
Matt: “Okay then … Celebrating Women it is.”
Jay: “Done.”

So, don’t forget to tune in this week to celebrate women with us. It’s gonna be a HAWT show!

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And, while you’re waiting for that show to start, you can listen to Wednesday’s show where we talked about all kinds of great stuff including Jerry Sandusky and the very disturbing scandal at Penn State. We also celebrated the great victory by working folks in Ohio by beating back Issue 2.

All that and so much more hilarity, so give us a listen. Don’t forget that we love each and every one of you guys.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Halloween Sucks, But It's Almost The Holidays

Hola Bitches! Well, it’s just about that time of year again. It’s almost Holiday Season. Despite the fact that I spend much of the Holiday Season depressed, there is a lot to love about the holidays. I’ve always loved the spirit of the season. I love the festive atmosphere, the decorations, the music, the general happiness and all that great stuff too. Unfortunately, it all starts with my third least favorite day of the year: Halloween.

After my birthday and April Fools’ Day, Halloween is the day I have the least use for. There is very little to like about Halloween. Basically there are only four things I like about Halloween:

1. Candy packaged in variety packs that you can’t get other times of the year.

2. The command performance put on by Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs in I Know What You Did Last Summer. They were spectacular.

3. SMARTIES!

4. Said candy variety packs being put on 50% off sale at Dollar General after Halloween is over.

That’s it. That’s the list! 

The rest I can do without. I don’t like scary movies. I don’t like costumes. I don’t like spooky shit of any kind. I’m already pissed that I’m going to see 5,000 people post pics of their babies dressed as bumble bees and all will pretend that they are the only ones who thought of it. Not you of course, your kid is cute as hell.

And their dogs! These people even dress their dogs up. Your dog is the one creature on this Earth that loves you unconditionally. He will never let you down. He will never leave you. He would put himself in front of a bullet or a speeding train to save you. And how do you repay him? You dress him up like Harry Potter or an Elf or some other shit. Then you take pics of him and post them on the net for everyone to laugh at and make fun your best, and probably only, friend in the entire world.

Oh sure, I’ll retweet those pics of your dog in his costume. Or I’ll post them on the official I’m With Stupid Tumblr. But, deep inside, I’ll feel really bad for the poor little puppy suffering such humiliation only because his only desire in life is to make you happy.

But, after Halloween is over things will begin to improve. As the days get shorter and colder and the football games get bigger and more meaningful, it will become time to start making Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. Mine are already made, weather permitting, of course. My plans are the same as every year. Thanksgiving with the family in Omaha, NE and a quiet and simple Christmas here in Redneckville, AR.

In between there will be decorating, baking fudge and cookies and watching all my favorite Christmas specials and movies. It’s such a special time of year. Hell, we might even dedicate a whole episode of I’m With Stupid internet radio show to happy shit. Maybe. We’ll see.

But, that’s all in the future still as I have to get through Halloween night first. I’ll put up the blackout curtains and ignore the begging children of Occupy Wall Street people who bang on the door even though my porch light won’t be on or anything like that. Then on Tuesday morning I will go out and see whether or not my car was egged or the air was let out of its tires by kids engaging in a little “mischief.” Only then will I be able to start looking forward to the Holidays and actually smile again.

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Speaking of Halloween, we held out Halloween Creeptacular this weekend on I’m With Stupid. And boy was it! The show opened with a trailer for a soon to be released horror film loosely based on the lives of your humble hosts, Matt-Man and Jayman. Then we engaged in some witty banter, as usual, followed by talking Halloween and taking calls.

And, while Matt and I were bringing the creepy, Dana and Knight called in to bring the sexy! It turned out to be a pretty great show. Especially as Knight watched a certain “inappropriate” video and gave us a little play-by-play of the action. Let’s just say it was HAWT! But, in a totally family-friendly(ish) kind of way.

So, check out the show if you get the chance. We very much appreciate your support and love each and every one of you out there.

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Matt Said, Jay Said XI

Matt said a few things, Jay said a few things, and then we moved on.

Matt: “Howdy Ho!”
Jay: “Ever notice that I’m always the one doing the calling.”
Matt: “Hmm … What’s up with that?”
Jay: “Nobody ever calls me. No texts, messages or calls. Ever.” *SIGH*
Matt: “Jay, the Self-Pity Show is over.”
Jay: “It never ends for me.”
Matt: “Awww”
Jay: “That wasn’t a very sincere sounding ‘aww’”
Matt: “It’s the best I can do though.”

Jay: “I posted Wednesday’s show EVERYWHERE”
Matt: “You are a marketing guru.”
Jay: “Yeah, and I played up the strange “turning asexual” talk we had.”
Matt: “That was a little weird. But, weird things happen like that sometimes.”
Jay: “And, I figured those people might be some untapped listener.”
Matt: “Nobody really reaches out to touch them much.”
Jay: “True. And they’re kind of lonely.”
Matt: “As are most of society’s outcasts.”
Jay: “Just like us.”
Matt: “We can certainly relate to others who just don’t fit in.”

Jay: “Lindsay Lohan posing for playboy!”
Matt: “Dreams we didn’t know we had are coming true.”
Jay: “Only 8 to 10 years too late.”
Matt: “Exactly. Hope Miley doesn’t make this mistake. She’s pushing it already.”
Jay: “She’s practically an old hag by now. Miley, not Lindsay. Lindsay has been for a while.”
Matt: “True. True.”

Matt: “New maintenance chick here at the Digs.”
Jay: “Oh really? A maintenance babe?”
Matt: “I’m watching her rake leaves. Apparently this is a VERY physically demanding activity.”
Jay: “Lots of bending and repetitive motion.”
Matt: “Just a carpal tunnel worker’s comp claim waiting to happen.”
Jay: “Poor girl, but what can they do. She’s a girl, so she can’t do actual maintenance work.”
Matt: “Can’t give her power tools! She’ll hurt someone.”
Jay: “So she has to do women’s work. Cleaning, sweeping, raking.”
Matt: “And she doesn’t appear to enjoy it.”
Jay: “I hope she runs into Angry Mailman. That would be quite the encounter.”
Matt: “They might run off together.”

Jay: “Okay, so Halloween Extravaganza?”
Matt: “You could call it ‘Spooktacular’ cause no one ever uses that!”
Jay: “Creeptacular?”
Matt: “Oh yeah! We are definitely creepy enough for that.”
Jay: “That’s why the chicks dig us.”
Matt: “They can tell we know how to get our freak on.”
Jay: “Even in asexual ways.”
Matt: “We are men of many talents.”
Jay: “Okay, Halloween show of some kind.”
Matt: “I’m no it! Gonna be great.”
Jay: “We always are!”
Matt: “Can’t wait!”

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While waiting for that show, you can listen to Wednesday’s absolutely hilarious and entertaining show. It was 45 minutes of pure randomness and irreverence that we are famous for. We rapidly, yet efficiently made our way through Lindsay Lohan, SEO marketing issues with the website, Mitt Romney and his bad week, some Halloween Show prep, turning asexual and eating Pringles Sour Cream and Onion potato chips.

That’s quality entertainment at a fair price right there. We hope you listen and enjoy the show because making you, our readers, listeners and friends happy is all we’ve got what it’s all about.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said VI

I know you’ve been waiting all week impatiently for a new edition of MS, JS. And you’re patience has been rewarded!

Matt: “Blah, Blah, Blah”
Jay: *makes the sounds all the adults on Charlie Brown specials make*
Matt: “Time to make some changes”
Jay: “But I like you just the way you are!”
Matt: “No, to the blog and shit, not me. I don’t change for nobody.”
Jay: “OHHHH .. Yeah, the blog.”

Jay: “You know, this SEO stuff just never ends.”
Matt: “It’s a lifelong process.”
Jay: “I’ve been busy though. Posted the show to the Tumblr, my old blog AND stumbled it.”
Matt: “You better pace yourself. We still have a show to do!”
Jay: “I’ll have to go to bed early. And I’ll be sore in the morning.”

Matt: “We need to be more organized.”
Jay: “Well, I’m Mr. Organization. Kinda.”
Matt: “We’re fully capable of taking our ideas and carrying through with them.”
Jay: “Yeah!”
Matt: “We have the talent and entertainment skills.”
Jay: “I’m inspired!”
Matt: “I am too! I inspired myself.”
Jay: “You’re a modern day Knute Rockne.”
Matt: “I was thinking Billy Graham.”
Jay: “Him too!”

Jay: “I’ve been tweeting with Giada De Laurentiis”
Matt: “Oh really? What did she tweet you? A restraining order?” Hey-OOOO!
Jay: “No, she tweeted that she was ‘Making Goodies.’”
Matt: “Oh God.”
Jay: “So I just told her that I LOVE her goodies.”
Matt: “You are one suave dude, Jayman.”
Jay: “I know it. It’s a wonder I’m still single.”
Matt: “A complete mystery.”
Jay: “One of those things that just can’t be explained.”
Matt: “Not even by Stephen Hawking.”

Matt: “So show ideas?”
Jay: “Not really. Thought about a passive-aggressive show.”
Matt: “Ha! That’s always a good time.”
Jay: “Just nothing but taking shots at people without naming them.”
Matt: “We still need to do the gay show, though.”
Jay: “A Big Gay Show?”
Matt: “Yeah, we can sing show tunes and talk about Bette Midler songs.”
Jay: “And DADT. And Chaz Bono and other gay stuff.”
Matt: “Exactly, we’ll just gay it up.”
Jay: “It’ll be FABULOUS!”
Matt: “Alright, there it is.”
Jay: “Sweet! Solid prepping today dude.”
Matt: “Very productive and efficient.”

So, there you have it. Entertainment and marketing geniuses at work. So, don’t forget to listen to the show at 6:30 EDT on I’m With Stupid.  Also, if you’d like to listen to our awesome SEO Show Prep Show from last Wednesday, you can do so on this here handy, dandy BTR player. I recommend you especially listen to the final 15 minutes. That’s comedy gold right there folks. And a great preview of Saturday’s show.

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A Labor of Love and Victory!

First an update on the post below. This morning, Google Plus looked over the demands made by IWS on behalf of Gnetch, assessed how much damage we could do to their fledgling social media site and IMMEDIATELY acquiesced.  Sunshine was able to post her video and all her friends were able to watch it over and over and over.

It was a great victory. Not for IWS.  It’s never about us. It was a victory for regular people everywhere.  We here at IWS will always be here to fight for the little guy when the man is trying to keep them down.

We’re kind of like a labor union, without the whole labor part. But we do represent the powerless in their fight against the powerful. We try to make sure that people get a fair deal and not get run over by the ruthless and unprincipled.

Anyway, today on I’m With Stupid Matt-Man and Jayman talked Labor Day. Matt regaled us stories from his SEIU days and all his crazy antics and characters he met along the way. Along with that Matt and Jay discussed the state of union vs management in this country and how big businesses and their corporate partners in the US Congress are teaming up to try to crush unions and the middle class. And other stuff.

It was a great show, so give it a listen using the high tech BTR Mystery Machine.  And don’t forget that coming up this Saturday will be our 2011 Football Preview show. We will provide expert analysis of the upcoming college and NFL seasons IWS Style!

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Also, we would like to present to our readers and listeners our favorite union of all time. Gabrielle Union…

Waxing Poetic

Last night on “I’m With Stupid” Matt-Man and Jayman stepped out of their normal and comfortable programing of comedy and jocularity and took a risk. They opened their hearts up to the world via the spoken word. It was Poetry Night and Matt-Man and Jayman not only brought the angst and yearning, they also wore the appropriate headgear. 

As you probably know, Matt-Man is already an accomplished poet. Classically trained and quite skilled, he is always ready to bust a few rhymes, and can go iambic pentameter on your ass at any moment. Jayman, on the other hand, is a new style poet. A style glossed “Tumblr Poet” by Matt-Man. The Tumblr Poet doesn’t observe any rules or have any real poetry skills. He or She just reads the thoughts he or she has typed out in a dramatic reading style. It works for them, but bothers poetry purists in the same way that the wild card and designated hitter bothers baseball purists. 

Anyway, it was a very touching, thoughtful and heart-felt show. Matt and Jay spoke from the heart and explored thoughts and feelings from deep within the darkest and most terrifying areas of their minds. In many ways it was cathartic and in others sad and pathetic. But, it was, as always a great show.

You can listen by using this here handy-dandy magical mystery machine lovingly provided by the good people of Blog Talk Radio. And don’t forget that we will be celebrating Labor Day on Monday at 11 am EDT. We’d love to see you there. 

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Anniversary Extravaganza Part II

Today was part two of our Anniversary Extravaganza!  And we, as always, took our cues from Miley Cyrus and titled it “Party in the USA.”  As you probably already know, nobody represents America and Partying more than Miley. And, I have it on good authority that Miley has given up low class shows like “Jersey Shore” for “I’m With Stupid’s” more sophisticated and intelligent humor.

Anyway, we talked a little more about some of the shows from the past year. Shows that turned out much better than we or anyone thought they would. Such as the Sandwich Show where Crackerville called in and talked about how much she loves “rusty” sandwiches. Only later did we discover that she meant “roast beef.”   And, there was the Joke Show with turned out to be pretty darn humorous. 

Of course there were a few shows that didn’t work out as well as we were hoping.  Like the Music Shows.  First when we had international pop start Jon Bok Chovie who turned out to be the LeBron James of the entertainment world.  And then when we talked music we discovered that it would have worked better to be able to play the music too. 

Nevertheless, it was an amazing first year for I’m With Stupid and we have a HUGE Season Two planned. In fact, we previewed it a bit on today’s show. First up will be our Beat Poetry Night next Saturday. Oh man is that gonna be a groovy show! 

And a special thanks to Sunshine State Shirley for calling int and helping us celebrate today!  So please give today’s show a listen and help us celebrate this great achievement since it’s YOU, the fans, that keep us going. We love you all! 

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And, as a special gift for listening, here’s hot and spicy Selena Gomez hanging out at the VMA’s last night with some lesbian. 

Year One

Last night on I’m With Stupid, Matt-Man and Jayman celebrated good times.  We held the first part of our One Year Anniversary Extravaganza and it was a rocking good time!  And of course, Mike called in to celebrate with us.  AND, our good friend and sexy babe M. Rumblings called too! It was the first time she had called. I guess she wanted to make it special, which she did. 

Matt and Jay took a little trip down memory lane. We talked about some of our favorite callers over the past year. And some of our favorite sound files that we created. And sponsors like “Dr. Mengele’s Joyous Joe’s Retirement Home” and “Ponchorella’s Taco Bellas” and even “Fast Freddie’s Funerals.” 

We also had some great live remotes over the year and some of our correspondents were right there in the Bagwine Digs partying with Matt and Schmoop. Guy Ahnyurdyck and Kim Fragiley were both there and man were they kicking things up a notch! Whatever the hell that means. 

Anyway, it was a fun and sometimes poignant night of radio as we remembered the good times and the bad. So, be sure to check it out as you might suddenly remember something from one of the early shows like Knight calling in while lying naked in her bed. I know that memory always makes me happy. 

And, as always we appreciate our listeners and friends and all of the great support you’ve given us over the past year.  We love you all! 

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Also, don’t forget that Part II of the Anniversary Extravaganza will be on Monday at 11 am EDT. Not only will we continue to talk about the last year of cutting edge radio brilliance, but we will also preview Season 2 of I’m With Stupid. You don’t want to miss that!

Oh! Also, since we used all the great boob and ass pics to promo the show I thought maybe we would do something for the ladies on the show review post. It’s only fair. So here is the “I’m With Stupid” All Male Stripping Team…