What an Insensitive Prick

Hola *insert word offensive to many people here*.  Let me quickly give you three examples of my being insensitive and saying stupid things.

- When I was managing the pizza joint back in college, there was a really sweet and cute blind chick that would come up there every Sunday afternoon with her Seeing Eye dog and get a small pizza and sit and chat for a while. We always had a good time talking about whatever was going on whether it was politics, sports, local gossip, school or other stuff. Also, he dog loved me. Probably because I fed him some of the bacon we put on the pizzas.

One day we were talking about how stupid politicians are and the way they pander to the lowest common denominator and how that seems to get them reelected, but leaves them unable to actually govern. And, at one point she said “I just don’t know why they do these things.” To which I cleverly replied “Because they’re blind to the reality of what they’re doing.”

*crickets*

Hell, even the dog was shaking his head in bitter disappointment. The girl quickly moved the conversation along with a “They only see what they want to see.” Which shows how nice she is, but I was so freaking embarrassed. Soon after that she picked up her pizza and went home with the dog still looking at me like I was the most insensitive guy in the world. She kept coming to the store for the rest of the semester, but I never saw her again after the semester ended.

See? “SAW her again?” I did it again! Jeez I’m an asshole!

Fast forward to this last week:

- I was getting a package of bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts and there was a little old lady was digging through the packages of thighs. When she got what she wanted and turned around I was, of course, in her way. I said excuse me and moved and she smiled and said “I have dig around for a small package since it’s just me and I don’t need those big ones or the family pack.”

Being the smooth operator I am, I replied “Well, at least you get to get whatever you want though.” She just smiled and told me to have a nice day.

Poor little old lady is all alone. Probably a widow! He kids never come to visit! And what do I do? Tell her how great that is. 

What. A. Jerk.

- My good friend CatcherDudesMom had a very bad week last week. Her uncle died early in the week and then on Friday night her aunt passed away. After she tweeted what had happened I tweeted back to her my condolences and told her she was in my thoughts and prayers. I was completely sincere in this.

However, about an hour later I went to Facebook to play my turn on my Words With Friends games and in the game against CDM I played the word “DEADER!”

OH MY GOD!  I’M A MONSTER!  

I would love to say those are the only three times I’ve done something like this. But, fact is, I’ve done things like this pretty much all my life. Some people call me “thoughtless.” I prefer to use the word “irreverent.” Even though I know it mostly comes from my shyness and lack of social skills, I would really love to stop doing things like this.

But, I know I won’t. So, I’ll just pre-apologize for all the insensitive things I’ll say and awkward situations I’ll cause to each and every one of you out there at some point.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

People Continue to Suck

Hola Bitches! Speaking of Cold and Flu Season, and we were …

You know, we spend a lot of time in this country making fun of people we run into at Walmart. And with good reason too. Some of the most ridiculous members of society frequent that place. Not to mention some of the most violent like to go there on Black Friday.

But you know what? Walgreens isn’t much of a step up. Just because people are paying outrages and honestly, sometimes offensive prices for the same stuff they could get at Walmart much cheaper, doesn’t mean they’re a better class of shopper. These people will walk right in front of you and stand there even though it’s obvious you were looking at something on the shelf too.

They’ll run into an old friend, or someone they talk to every day, and stand there blocking the aisle talking and not care who they are inconveniencing just like Walmarters will. They’ll let their demon spawn run free pretty much everywhere also. And, they’ll wait until everything is rung up and THEN get their checkbook out. This is one of my favorite things people do. So fucking annoying.

But, it’s over at the pharmacy where things always get interesting. Walgreen’s pharmacy does the same thing banks do. Despite the fact that they get really busy during lunchtime when people are trying to run in and pick up their prescriptions, they allow their people to go to lunch during that busy time too, rather than earlier or later than the “noon rush.” I just don’t understand this.

However, as I said, it’s the customers who make going there really special. Just the other day I was there and there was a bit of a line. I decided since I was already there, I would just stay and stand in line. The lady sitting in a chair informed me that she was in line, but felt too bad to stand, which was perfectly understandable.

So, as we’re waiting, she starts talking about how cold it is and how she wished she had never moved back here from Florida where she had lived the last eight years. She kept talking about the great weather there, living five minutes from the beach, there was so much to do there and on and on and on.

Then, as the line was getting smaller she got up and took her place in front of me. She then turned to me and said “And, in eight years in Florida I never got sick once! But, I move back here and I have had two colds and now pneumonia.”

When I finally got to the counter they told me that the prescription hadn’t been filled yet and it was “on the truck” and would not be available for a while.

So, I stood there in line with Ratso Rizzo’s long lost sister spewing her pneumonia germs right in my face while talking about how great Florida is compared to Arkansas and they didn’t even have the prescription that they were given three days advance notice to fill. How freaking great is that?

And people wonder why I wish I lived in a place where everything from prescriptions to beer to groceries can be ordered online and then delivered and you never have to deal with people.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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In other news, last Saturday on I’m With Stupid we talked writing. Books, writers, authors and a little bit about writing styles and blogging. Good friend of the show Mike called in so he could make his voice heard too.

It was an excellent show and an all-around good time for all. So, check it out if you get the chance and don’t hesitate to tell your friends about us.

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