My Porn Comedy Dream ...

One of the things that might come as a surprise to you is that I’m not a fan of porn.  It bores me.  I don’t find it exciting or anything.  I also actually think it does do more damage to society than most of its proponents are willing to admit.  Porn and MTV are probably the two worst things ever to happen to society. 

But, having said that, it has always been a dream of mine to write, direct and produce a pornographic movie.  Not star in one though. Nobody would watch that.  I have a few people in mind who I think would be great in one though! 

My idea for a great porn movie would be a smart comedy that just happens to be a porno.  It would have the standard girl/girl, girl/guy, guy/guy, blow job, masturbation and orgy scenes that all pornos are required to have. But, it would also be a funny movie with snappy dialog.  I think Gilmore Girls would have made a great porn comedy. 

What’s that? Oh, you’re kind of hung up on that “guy/guy” part. Okay, we’ll take that out if it makes you uncomfortable.  Hee hee … I said “hung.”  But, I do think the comedy idea is a very good one.  Maybe for my first movie I should just go with one girl/girl scene and one girl/guy scene. Put more of the focus on the dialog and superior direction and lighting compared to other porno movies.  Then, after some commercial success, I’ll expend into other genres. 

Anyhoodle, I decided that I need to make a list of the items I’ll need to make this first movie.

- A laptop to write and edit the movie on
- A camera to shoot with.
- Actors and actresses.
- Fruit roll ups and Red Bull for snack time.
- Lube. Lots and lots of lube.
- A room at Motel 6
- A can of Raid
- A Plastic Jesus
- Rubber sheets
- Baby oil
- A dog. What? Dogs are hilarious and always steal every scene they’re in.
- Condoms
- Enzyte. The natural male enhancement.
- Multiple lights and lamps
- A lawyer
- Candles
- Lots of towels and some soap.
- A Fluffer
- Toys
- Music
- A backup camera and extra tripod
- Kleenex and paper towels.

Okay, that’s all I can come up with for now. But, I think I can gather most of those items right here around the luxury estates in Redneckville. We don’t have a Motel 6, but we do have a Super 8 that is stuck in the 70’s.  If nothing else, I can use the Motel 6 up in Springfield. It’s a real dump, so it should be cheap. I think I’ll see if anyone who is part of the local community theater group would like to be in the movie. I think professional porn stars would be too difficult to deal with. And, I want to avoid dealing with a union.

I think I’m off to a pretty good start here. The most difficult thing will be to come up with a good title for the movie. Just like blog posts. 

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws

3 Rahasia Kelemahan Cewek Cantik dan Seksi !

Banyak orang (cowok) yang sering minder mendekati seorang cewek cantik nan seksi. Kebanyakan cowok punya rasa tidak percaya diri jika mau "menembak" cewek cantik dan seksi itu. Yaa, mereka khawatir dan takut ditolak atau dicuekin, dan malu jika itu terjadi, karena bisa menjatuhkan harga diri si cowok. Masak sih kok ditolak dan dicuekin si cewek... hahaha..

Padahal jika para cowok tahu kelemahan si cewek cantik nan seksi itu, wah... dijamin bakal jadi cowok yang "pede" setengah hidup deh...

Ok, saya beberkan bagaimana sebenarnya yang ada di dalam pikiran CEWEK CANTIK nan SEKSI ini:

1. Dia sebenarnya juga sangat berharap perhatian dari para cowok di sekelilingnya. Itu bisa dicermati dari gayanya yang memang sengaja dibuat-buat untuk menarik perhatian cowok. Jika gak ada satu pun cowok yang perhatian, aslinya dia akan merasa dongkol banget deh... hehehe...

2. Kalo sudah berhasil memikat cowok agar "ngiler" setelah melihat dirinya, maka si cewek berlagak jual mahal. Tujuannya biar si cowok makin ngebet ke dia, dan kepikiran terus sampai terbawa mimpi. Namun jika ternyata si cowok malah gak berani atau gak melanjutkan pendekatannya, dijamin si cewek pasti jadi kecewa dan mentalnya langsung down... karena akting memikat cowok gagal total... hahaha.. Padahal aslinya dia ngarep banget tuh cowok tetap berjuang untuk mendapatkan dirinya.

3. Cewek cantik nan seksi sebenarnya tidak butuh cowok yang ganteng, keren, atau atletis six pack. Cewek itu hanya butuh cowok yang punya KEPRIBADIAN BAIK dan MENGAGUMKAN, yaitu apakah si cowok punya mobil pribadi, rumah pribadi, villa pribadi, deposito pribadi dan hal-hal lain yang dimiliki secara pribadi... hwhwhwhw...

Nah, itulah RAHASIA untuk mendapatkan cewek cantik nan seksi... Mau?

Creepy Kid Next Door: What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Hi IWS readers and listeners, Creepy Kid Next Door here with another installment of my awesomeness.

School starts up again for me in a couple of weeks, so I thought I’d tell you what I’ve been up to during my summer vacation.

The first thing I did, because it’s been so dry and hot here, was to get a magnifying glass, corral some ants, and burn the hell out of them.

It was fun for awhile, but man…THE SMELL!!

You know what it smelled like?

YOUR FACE!!

Guess what else I did, while you were all going to work and chatting on the internet? I made friends with some neighborhood cats.

I never realized how shiny their coats got after applying kerosene to them. Man, they shine…and on the 4^th of July, the cats were screaming “Independence!!” Meowwwwwww.

You know who else was screaming, “Independence!!” on the 4^th?

YOUR FACE!!

After all of my animalistic fun with ants and cats, I did some dumpster diving just to see what was up. You know what I found?

I found that after three days in a dumpster under a hot sun, a half bag of Smoked Bacon potato chips tastes just like Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips. Not bad, not bad…

You know what else tastes like Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips?

YOUR FACE !!

I also spent time at our Mall which contains a Sears, a Penny’s, and 12 T-Shirt shops, lookin’ for some teenage Halle Berry looking bootyliciousness.

All I saw was a 55 year old Lady Gaga wannabe swaying her cellulite from window to window, and my buddy Oliver picking his nose and wiping his boogers on the counter at Aunt Annie’s Pretzel Place. Can you say, “Loser?”

You know who else is a loser?

YOUR FACE!!

Anyway, this is the Creepy Kid Next Door saying…

Don’t Hate ‘Cause You Ain’t!!

Google Plus a Social Media Experiment

Google has, once again, dipped its toes in the social media waters. And this time they mean it. Google Plus is the newest and greatest Facebook killer. Or is a the Twittah Killah? Tumblr Rumblr? Hell, I can't remember. Anyway, as usual I talked a big game about being cool and ignoring the Next Big Thing. But, when my very good HAWT friend Gnetch sent me an invite I jumped all over that baby (the invite, not Gnetch) like republican hitting on another dude in a public restroom.

So, now I'm one of the cool kids who's on Google Plus. Which means I have yet another social media platform that I open up, stare at it for ten minutes, am unable to come up with anything witty to say and just close out of it. Feel free to add me.

At this point, I would just like to say that it really frosts my balls that MOOBS don't make one as immediately internet famous as BOOBS do. Look, there are a lot of areas where women get the short end of the stick, but, social media is NOT one of those places. If you have boobs and/or a nice ass, you will rack up a decent amount of followers pretty fast.

In fact, I've actually considered doing a little experiment on this topic. I'm thinking of creating a fake Stumble Upon account and use a pic of a very attractive young lady. Then I'll stumble on all kinds of sites, blogs and videos that talk about sex. And in the middle of those I'll stumble upon posts on this blog and the world famous “I'm With Stupid” internet radio show. I'm guessing this would be a pretty successful endeavor in terms of driving traffic to this blog and the show.

I have to admit that this isn't an original idea. You see, I'm starting to get the weird feeling that some of the ridiculously hot, babes that follow me on Stumble Upon might be fakes. IKNOWRIGHT?? The first indication I had that some of them might be fake was when they followed me back. That right there is a pretty suspicious act.

If it works there, and I see no reason why it won't, I'm thinking I can expand this idea to Tumblr. This will be a little more difficult, but it can be done. I think I'm gonna need some help on this one though. I need a very attractive woman to agree to send me a bunch of sexy pics. THIS IS NOT FOR ME! IT'S FOR SCIENCE!!!

What I can do on Tumblr is post sexy pics of celebrities, funny pics and some of “my” sexy pics. Along with those will be some text posts where I talk about all the sex I'm getting and/or not getting. Talk about my bisexuality and occasionally post something talking about how deep I am and get all philosophical on everyone. Oh and some emo shit. People really love that.

So, if there is some hottie out there willing to help me in my “experiment” I would be very grateful. I think it would be fun and really, who could it hurt? Nobody was upset to find out that the blogger they thought was a lesbian in Syria turned out to be some middle aged white redneck male in the state of Georgia. So, I don't see anyone being upset if my scam social media experiment is uncovered.

So let me know if you'd like to be a part of the fun. I hope someone does. I would HATE to have to troll Myspace for old photos of hot babes who posted them and then abandoned their account for Facebook and forgot about the pics. That would be kinda creepy.

Jayman3768@gmail.com

www.twitter.com/jayman_iws

Making Deals and Celebrating Ramadan ...

Today on “I’m With Stupid” we talked deals. Lots of deals. We ripped on the ridiculous and almost completely fake Debt Ceiling Deal. With its Special Commission that will be created to make all kinds of recommendations to deal with the debt that will never be implemented and will be ignored. Hell, the whole deal itself will be ignored by the next congress when they do their first budget. Yes, as shocking as it might seem, our political “leaders” have just completely wasted 6 weeks where they could have been dealing with the fact unemployment is 9% with a bullet. I’m sure they’ll get to that whole “jobs thing” next NEVER. 

Anyway, after that we talked NFL deals. Great deals made by teams like the Eagles and devastating lack of deals made by teams like the Cowboys. Every year Cowboy fans think all the big free agents will come to Dallas just because they’re Dallas. And every year they go somewhere else. So sad. 

THEN we had a very special caller! Our very good friend and fan of the show Maniar, the Canadian Muslim called in! So talked to Maniar for a  bit about Ramadan and what it’s all about and that cool stuff. We’re a very educational show, you know.  So, let us take just a moment here to send out a big Ramadan Mubarak to all our Muslim friends all over the world! 

And after that we talked some MLB trades like the big blockbuster deal the Cardinals made for Octavio Dotel and how the Reds continue to prepare for the future. And then we filled in the final few minutes of the show with some other fun stuff. 

So, be sure to give today’s show a listen cause not only was it funny, you might learn a few things too.  You can listen right here on BTR’s Magical Mystery Player. And as always, we appreciate your listening! 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Heboh Oknum PNS Pamer Payudara !

Aksi nekat pameran payudara oknum Pegawai Negeri Sipil (PNS) di Sekretariat Daerah (Setda) setempat, menghebohkan warga kota Waingapu, Kabupaten Sumba Timur, Nusa Tenggara Timur (NTT) sejak tiga hari terakhir.

Lurah Temu, Kecamatan Kanatang, Kabupaten Sumba Timur, Nggala Jilik, kepada wartawan di kantor lurah setempat, merasa kaget dengan aksi nekat salah satu stafnya.

Hal ini disebabkan ketika menyaksikan foto topless yang memamerkan payudara di akun facebook stafnya yang ditunjukan wartawan.

"Kami seluruh staf di kantor ini baru tahu. Kalau dari foto–foto di facebook memang dia adalah salah satu staf saya," katanya.

Lebih lanjut dia mengatakan, selama ini yang bersangkutan dikenal sebagai staf kelurahan yang baik. Alasannya, hampir setiap hari yang bersangkutan selalu rajin mengirimkan ayat – ayat kitab suci kepada seluruh staf kelurahan melalui pesan singkat.

Namun, aksi nekat dengan memarkan foto bertelanjang dada pada akun facebooknya diduga mungkan faktor stress.

"Kemungkinan di stress, karena dua minggu lalu ibunya meninggal dunia di Kupang. Sampai sekarang dia juga belum masuk kantor," jelas Jilik.

Sebagai atasan, lanjut Jilik, pihaknya akan memanggil yang bersangkutan untuk dikonfirmasi soal perbuatannya tersebut. Hal ini dinilai sebagai bentuk pelanggaran hukum dan melawan undang – undang pornografi. Selain itu, pihaknya juga belum bisa memastikan siapa pelaku sebenarnya yang menyebarkan foto–foto topless di akun
facebook tersebut.

"Kalau foto–foto ini saya bisa memastikan namanya SYR staf saya. Tapi kita tidak tahu apakah dia yang pasang foto – foto ini atau bukan," tegasnya.

Sementara SYR, yang hendak dikonfirmasi terkait foto–foto telanjang dada di akun Facebook dengan nama SR ini tidak berada di rumahnya.

Ketika wartawan mendatangi kediamannya di Kelurahan Temu, tidak berada di tempat. Dari informasi yang dihimpun para tetangganya, menyatakan yang bersangkutan sedang keluar.

"Tadi baru saja keluar dan rumahnya terkunci," ujar salah seorang ibu yang merupakan tetangganya.

Sometimes, Madness and Genius Go Hand in Hand

Jayman and I try to stay on top of the stupid that exists in the world of politics, entertainment, sports, and pop culture, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a love and passion for science.

Neither of us do have a passion or love for science, I’m just saying that what we do here is not the reason for it.

However…

We do have a passion and love for Mad Scientists, and we share an adoration and lust hotter than a Bunsen burner for the official Mad Scientist of IWS, Agent Rat.

While Jayman and I would like to keep her to ourselves, for the good of our readers, listeners, and indeed, the good of all mankind, to do so, would be a sin.

Thusly, ergo, to wit, and heretofore, we are making available to you, the vast knowledge, brilliance, and scientific omniscience of the maddest scientist we know, Agent Rat:

The uber-lovely Agent Rat will be answering your science related questions every other week or so on I’m With Stupid. There is however, one problem that confronts the introduction of her debut…

We Need Questions From You!!

So send us your science questions to Jay and/or yours truly, and we will pass them on to Agent Rat post haste.

Keep in mind when sending in those questions…She is quite mad, especially during that time of month when she is on her Periodic Table.

But brave her madness with your questions, because only through her mad, diabolical, and unsurpassed genius can the world be set free.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com

http://twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS

P.S. Make sure you catch Jayman and me on IWS at 11 AM EDT today on Blog Talk Radio.  For show details, click on the Radio Show tab at the top of the page.