Matt Said...Jay Said XXXV

Matt Puhuu.  Jay Puhuu.  You, Kuunnella.

Matt:  You’ve reached the Immaturity Help-Line, how may I direct your childish call?
Jay:  Hey there TUFF GUY.
Matt:  How you doin’, you BAD ASS, you?
Jay:  Man, who knew what a draft dodging pussy Ted Nugent was and is?
Matt:  Ha Ha…Wait for it…
Jay and Matt:  WE DID!!

Matt:  Poor tough guy Ted.
Jay:  Yeah.  The Motor City Fancy Boy couldn’t show up for Vietnam, but he did for our website.
Matt:  And for that, we are eternally grateful.
Jay:  Or something.

Matt:  Hey did you see that we have been getting hits from NBC Universal out of NYC?
Jay:  Oh hell yes I did.  They probably want to make a sitcom out of us being internet radio stars.
Matt:  Probably, but we are so above that type of mindless, ghetto tripe.
Jay:  We are?
Matt:  No, not really.
Jay:  Maybe it’s Tamron Hall who is checking us out.
Matt:  In my fantasy life I think you are right, and I just got a boner.
Jay:  I’d prefer you keep your erection updates to yourself.

Matt:  You know what I can’t keep to myself?
Jay:  What’s that, your self-loathing?
Matt:  No, no, no…They way we were viciously attacked as being immature, 12 year old boys this week.
Jay:  Ohhhh, no kiddin’!!  I have spent the week re-examining my inner-self after that, and I’m still pissed.
Matt:  Same here.
Jay:  We should address this beyond the website.
Matt:  Someone needs to go down for that incalcitrant remark.

Jay:  I mean…that observation holds no weight.
Matt:  IKR?  And dig it.  I was chatting with a hot babe and she said that she is taking a bath now so she can listen to our show while clean and shiny.
Jay:  That’s sweet, but she’ll need another one after listening to us.
Matt:  You know what would be really hot?
Jay:  Ha Ha…wait for it…
Matt and Jay:  IF SHE LISTENED TO US WHILE TAKING A BATH!!

Jay:  Anyhoodle, on Sunday’s show, we need to answer these charges about being all immature n’shit.
Matt:  I agree.  Because we both know we can be funny and still address serious issues logically.
Jay:  Damn straight, and thus, the show is scheduled and I titled it, “But Seriously Folks”
Matt:  That is brilliant, and…quite mature.
Jay:  Thank You.
Matt:  You’re welcome and I will see you on the radio Sunday at Noon ET on I’m With Stupid.
Jay:  Damn right you will, and the blasphemer is going to get a more than public dressing down.
Matt:  Word.

Join us Sunday at Noon ET on IWS on Blog Talk Radio.  We will be defending our honor and maturity, and hope you listen and call-in to help us.

Cheers!!

Ted Nugent Draft Dodger, and Well...Pussy

There are many things that tick me off in life, however, there are a couple of things that make me mad…angry…pissed off.

One of which, is when people portray themselves to be something other than who the truly are.

Oh sure, we all know phonies in our life, but we take a handful of people at their word, and then what do they do?

They let us down.

For example…

The mighty, mighty, Mr. Bad Ass, Ted Nugent, said in a not so veiled threat toward President Barack Obama, that if Obama is reelected, “I will either be dead, or in jail.”

Now…to the untrained eye, that may seem to be a sincere, bad ass threat toward our President, however, to folks who truly know Ted Nugent, that statement is pretty fucking funny, because, well…

Ted Nugent is the biggest pussy in the world.

Oh sure, he proclaims himself to be Lord High Lover and Protector of the Constitution and a rah-rah rock star for the Second Amendment, but the soon to be 64 year old is nothing more than, an aging purveyor of hypocrisy and self-aggrandizement.

In other words…since Tommy Shaw showed Ted Nugent up in his last band, Damn Yankees, Theodore Nugent has been scouring the Earth for relevance and validation.

And, just like many folks who aren’t worth a shit, Ted Nugent found his validation in the form of FOX News and specifically, Sean Hannity.

In fact, overheard in D.C. eateries, have been conversations between Sean Hannity and Nugent arguing over which of them has the wettest pussy. But I digress…

Anyhoo, I make these claims about Ted Nugent being a draft dodging sissy, and you ask, “Matt-Man?  Why for do you level these charges?”

Because Ted Nugent is a draft dodging sissy…and back in the 70’s he made no bones about it.  He literally shit and un-hygiened himself out of the draft, and was so damn proud of it, he gave an interview about it.

What a trooper…

Mr. Bad Ass, Motor City Mad Man, it turns out, is nothing more than a Motor City Mary.

Ol’ Ted Nugent was available for the draft during the years while the Vietnam War was going on, but Mr. Pussy Scratch Fever sought deferments.

Mr. I Will Shoot Anything to Feed My Family was too askeered to have it out with short, slant-eyed game that fired back, so...he greased his guns, refused to fire, and like a chick who just got fucked by a fellow meth addict, did the Sunday morning walk of shame.

Mr. I Am Touting My Skills As a Hunter in Order to Make Up for My Lack of Personal and Patriotic Duties, makes videos claiming to be a “real American” who needs not the government, and yet, loves America.

Y’know, puss boy…

All you do, is bloat your skinny ass chest out, try to hide your inadequacies as a man, and hold on to a persona that you have created over 40 years.

You’re not a tough guy.  You’re far from being a patriot…and you, my pathetic wisp of a man, are a coward.

The only thing larger than life on you , is your ego.

I hope that fact puts ya in a stranglehold, puss boy.

Cheers!!

neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattman_iws

P.S.  I hope he answers this post, or at least his press agent Linda Petersen does.  If anybody does answer this, it will probably be Linda, because I'm sure she has a bigger dick than Ted.