Matt Said, Jay Said XLVIII

Matt alkstay, Jay alkstay, You istlenlay.

Matt: Hello?
Jay: Yo
Matt: Oh … It’s … Yewww
Jay: Don’t act like you’re not excited.
Matt: Only a little really.
Jay: That’s only a little hurtful.
Matt: Life just be that way.
Jay: You’re just cold-hearted.
Matt: The world made me that way.
Jay: Life on the streets does that to a guy.

Matt: I have a serious problem.
Jay: Burning when you pee again?
Matt: I have two problems.
Jay: What’s the other one?
Matt: I have 499 friends on Facebook.
Jay: That is bad. That’s way too many to keep up with.
Matt: No, the problem is the odd number. I need one more very badly.
Jay: So add someone.
Matt: I’m trying to! I had 496 and tried to add four.
Jay: Ha! And only three accepted?
Matt: YES!
Jay: That’s a problem for you dude.
Matt: You mean “for you FREAKS” don’t you?
Jay: Oh no! We all have our personality quirks.
Matt: That’s what makes each of us special.
Jay: True, and you’re much more special than me.
Matt: Hey now! You’re quite the weirdo yourself.
Jay: Actually I meant you’re much more loved than me. I only have 199 friends.
Matt: No … People think you’re Mr. Sweet and Wonderful.
Jay: Only for a while, then they start hating me.
Matt: Well, I have noticed that, but didn’t want to say anything.

Matt: *pees while on the phone*
Jay: Very impressive stream.
Matt: Thank you. I’m very proud of my urinating power.
Jay: I don’t know about the rest of you, but you’re kidneys are excellent.
Matt: Oh the rest of me is done! Kidneys are all I have.
Jay: At least you have that.


Matt: Hey! You need to follow **Name Redacted**
Jay: No, No, No, No, No … I don’t either.
Matt: You’re missing out.
Jay: On a bunch of bullshit?
Matt: You really should follow him.
Jay: Okay, I will but you have to follow **Name Redacted**
Matt: Oh MANNNNNNNNN!
Jay: It’s only fair.
Matt: You play dirty. Mitt Romney is funnier than that guy.
Jay: Eh … He’ll probably block you really fast.
Matt: Well, there’s that. Okay, deal.

Jay: So Olympics show?
Matt: Kind of.
Jay: ???
Matt: How ‘bout Alternative Olympics?
Jay: Events we’d like to see?
Matt: Well, things like “Gay Olympics” “Redneck Olympics” “Ethnic Olympics”
Jay: “Handicapped Olympics?” “Midget Olympics?”
Matt: Yeah, stuff like that. We’ll hit every politically incorrect group.
Jay: We can do that!
Matt: Schmoop! Take notes.
Jay: Damn, a personal assistant.
Matt: You should get you one.
Jay: No kidding.
Matt: Schmoop! … Schmoop! … Please?
Jay: I need a more obedient one though.
Matt: It’s like she has a mind of her own.
Jay: Okay, so Alternative Olympics it is.
Matt: Gonna be HUGE!

There you go folks! Just a couple of genii doing what they do best. And, don’t forget to tune into Sunday’s I’m With Stupid as we present the Alternative Olympics!

Matt Said, Jay Said XLVII

Matt talksecundum…Jay talksecundum…You, listencadabra.

Matt:  Howdy Mr. Man.

Jay:  What’s going on?
Matt:  Schmoop just got done watching the finale of Charmed.  She had never seen the end the first go ‘round.
Jay:  Charmed, eh?  I’d like to charm Alyssa Milano, mmmmmmm.
Matt:  I’m more of a Holly Marie-Combs kinda guy.
Jay:  Pussy.

Matt:  So…Oh shit…The funniest thing just happened.
Jay:  What?  Mitt Romney actually took an unwavering position on something?
Matt:  Ha. No.  Because Schmoop was watching Chramed, I went across the street to take pictures of the weeds growing at the abandoned hospital.
Jay:  Ha!!  That is wacky!!  Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Matt:  Shuddup…There’s this red-headed, Glock carrying Security chick standing guard, and she told me to quit taking pictures.
Jay:  Was she hot?
Matt:  No, she’s like 58, smokes Lucky Strikes, and may or may not have been born in Bulgaria.

Jay:  Nope…that’s not hot.
Matt:  Anyhoo, she said, “I don’t like you taking pictures.  Taking pictures could get you shot.”
Jay:  Ha…No shit, really?
Matt:  Ha…Yes!!
Jay:  We should have her on the show.
Matt:  IKR?  But anyway after a brief exchange and a few more pictures, I said to her, “Go to Hell, asshole.”
Jay:  Incredible, and this all happened because you didn’t want to watch Charmed with Schmoop?
Matt:  Yep…Serendipity Jayman…serendipity.

Jay:  You need to write about this for Monday’s post.
Matt:  Oh I will, and because of the power of IWS, those weeds will be gotten rid of.
Jay:  We do nothing but good.
Matt:  Damn straight.
Jay:  Aight…I guess I’ll talk to you later on Twitter.
Matt:  Dam right you will…Have a good one Jayman.
Jay:  You too…bye.

(moments later the phone rings)

Matt:  Yo Dawg!!

Jay:  We forgot to talk about what we are going to talk about on Sunday’s show.
Matt:  Oh shit…we did, didn’t we?
Jay:  How about we do a weather show and talk about the weather; we always talk about it when we open any show anyway.
Matt:  Good idea.
Jay:  I think we are ready.
Matt:  I believe you are right.
Jay and Matt:  The Weather Show This Sunday!!
Jay:  Later.
Matt: Later.

So there you have it this Sunday on IWS Jayman and I will be talking weather as only we can, which means of course, we will make it dirty.

You can join us live Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio, for the IWS Is It Hot Enough for Ya radio installment by clicking HERE.

Cheers!!

Matt Said, Jay Said XLVI

Matt: Holaaaaaaaaaaa!
Jay: Cheers!
Matt: It’s opposite day!
Jay: Just mixing it up a bit.
Matt: How’s your ass?
Jay: Improving by the day.
Matt: That’s good. Gotta just be patient.
Jay: It all gets better little by little.
Matt: Wish that was true for everything.
Jay: Isn’t that the truth.
Matt: *sigh*
Jay: *sigh*

Jay: That show on Sunday w/ Carrie was freaking awesome.
Matt: It really was. Great show with a great guest.
Jay: Wish we had more time though.
Matt: I could have talked to her all day.
Jay: There were so many more questions that needed answers too.
Matt: Like “Is Paula Deen fun to party with?”
Jay: Exactly! And, “Do Ina and Jeffrey have a sex dungeon?”
Matt: Exa … Well, I don’t know if we need to know that one.
Jay: Well, maybe I’m the only one wondering that.
Matt: I’m guessing you are.
Jay: Still a great show and we actually acted like grownups.
Matt: We did even though SOMEONE didn’t think we could.
Jay: And it’s not like we weren’t tested either.
Matt: Damn right! We both let that “big salt lick” line go.
Jay: We sure as hell did.
Matt: Yeah, SOME PEOPLE probably still think we couldn’t do that.
Jay: People underestimate us all the time.
Matt: It’s our secret weapon.

Jay: So, “Hangover Show” this week?
Matt: Not only will we talk about it, I’ll be living it!
Jay: Sunday mornings are often tough.
Matt: Especially when one has Saturday off!
Jay: Oh dear God!
Matt: That’s right bitches!
Jay: This could be epic!
Matt: That’s my plan.
Jay: We’ll talk about epic parties and the resulting hangovers.
Matt: And hangover cures.
Jay: And hangover prevention.
Matt: And how to be considerate of others with hangovers.
Jay: And we’ll sing “Sunday Morning Coming Down”
Matt: I love that song.
Jay: Everyone should.
Matt: Of course, it’s Kris Kristofferson for God’s sake!
Jay: Kris is the man!
Matt: It would suck if he middle name was “Kevin.”
Jay: Ohhhhh … Yeah, that would be bad.
Matt: What is his middle name?
Jay: Wikipedia says he doesn’t have one.
Matt: A likely story.
Jay: Totally. His initials were probably “KKK.”
Matt: Yup. I bet he dropped the middle name.
Jay: Good move on his part.
Matt: He’s always been media savvy.
Jay: Okay then … Hangover Show?
Matt: Let’s do it.
Jay: Great, I’ll get started creating one right now.
Matt: Me too!

There ya go! The hilarity never ends around here. Be sure to tune into The Hangover Show on I’m With Stupid on Sunday at 12 Noon Eastern!

Matt Said, Jay Said XLV

Matt _  ._ ._.. _._ … Jay _  ._ ._.. _._ …  You, ._.. .. … _ . _.

Matt:  Hello?
Jay:  Yo Dawg?
Matt:  Did you just say, “Yo dawg?”
Jay:  Yeah, I’m trying to be more hip and down with urban sub-cultures.
Matt:  Well, stop it.
Jay:  Word.

Matt:  Big show this Sunday, so maybe we should take notes during this call.
Jay:  I always take notes during our Thursday call.
Matt:  What are you saying?
Jay:  That you don’t.
Matt:  And you would be correct.  I’ll have Schmoop take my notes.
Jay:  Good idea, wouldn’t want you to have to strain yourself.
Matt:  I don’t multi-task well…My idea of multi-tasking is taking a crap and reading the comics at the same time.

Jay:  So…the lovely and talented Carrie Welch, formerly of the Food Network will be on our show Sunday at Noon ET, how do we approach this?
Matt:  We have to grow up and be mature.
Jay:  And quickly
Matt:  We are professionals.  We can do this.
Jay:  Well, I know I can.
Matt:  What are you saying?
Jay:  That perhaps you probably need to work at it.
Matt:  And you would be correct.  I’ll have Schmoop school me in this area.
Jay:  Good idea.

Matt:  Carrie is going to be a great guest…all talented and funny and what not.
Jay:  I know; she’ll add to our show what it has sorely been lacking.
Matt: What are you saying?
Jay:  That sometimes our show isn’t all that funny.
Matt:  I know, and I blame that on the audience.
Jay:  Uh-huh.

Matt:  Anyhoo…We will dish it with the lovely Ms, Welch Sunday at Noon ET, and get the dirt on the chefs of the Food Network, and talk about her amazing journey that she is now upon..
Jay:  It’s gonna be huge!!
Matt:  It’s gonna be Yum-O!!
Jay:  It’s gonna go, BAM!!

Matt:  BAM?  What are you saying?
Jay:  That I’ll do fine with Carrie and you’ll fall on your face.
Matt:  And you would be correct.  Damn it; I knew it.  Really?
Jay:  Nooooooo, it was a reference to Emeril Lagasse, ya goof.
Matt:  Oh….Who’s that?
Jay:  Oh boy!!
Matt:  I think we’re good to go.
Jay:  Damn right.

So catch Jayman and Matt-Man live with Carrie Welch at Noon ET Sunday July 8th on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio, the three of them will be dishin’ a smorgasbord of fun.

Matt Said, Jay Said XLIV (Plus Schmoop!)

Matt pourparlers, Jay pourparlers, You écouter.

Matt: John Freaking Roberts
Jay: I guess he hates America.
Matt: Commie Bastard!
Jay: Helping the secret Muslim destroy this country!
Matt: It’s pretty hilarious though.
Jay: Comedy GOLD!
Matt: I only have one question about Obamacare.
Jay: Does it cover that burning sensation when you pee?
Matt: Okay, two questions.
Jay: What’s the other one?
Matt: Is it retroactive so it will cover past unpaid medical bills?
Jay: If that Fascist John Roberts has his way it will be!
Matt: That would be nice.

Matt: You know what you should do?
Jay: I’m afraid to ask.
Matt: You should marry .
Jay: Ummm … Why?
Matt: It would be good for you.
Jay: But, it wouldn’t be good for her.
Matt: Not true. And, you could also be daddy to her kids.
Jay: No. No. No. No I couldn’t.
Matt: You’d be a great dad.
Jay: Until I had to be responsible.
Matt: Here, talk to Schmoop for a minute.

Schmoop: Howdy!
Jay: Hola Schmoopalicious!
Schmoop: You don’t want to be daddy?
Jay: I can barely take care of myself.
Schmoop: And kids suck.
Jay: And I can’t even remember shit at the store. I’d forget to pick them up.
Schmoop: That’s true. Poor kids.
Jay: I’d be home, drinking beer and be like “Oh damn kids, I forgot, sorry.”
Schmoop: Kids are sensitive to that sort of thing.
Jay: IKR? Then I would try to make it up to them.
Schmoop: Trying to buy their love?
Jay: I’d be like “I didn’t mean to forget you. Here, come sit on New Daddy’s lap.”
Schmoop: Uhhhhh … MAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!

Matt: Huh, Schmoop just went straight to bed.
Jay: Must be sleepy.
Matt: I guess so. She looked a little disturbed.
Jay: I dunno.
Matt: I have a show topic.
Jay: What’s that?
Matt: Sunday is Canada Day!
Jay: Sweet! We can celebrate all the great Canadians!
Matt: Like Pamela Anderson!
Jay: Shania Twain!
Matt: Ellen Page!
Jay: Tom Green!
Matt: Ewwwww. You kinda ruined the whole thing.
Jay: Well, we can still celebrate Canada.
Matt: We can do it!
Jay: Alright, that was easy enough!
Matt: Another HUGE show coming up!
Jay: Yup. Okay then. I guess we’re set.
Matt: Yeah, I better go check on Schmoop.
Jay: I’m sure she’s fine.

So, there you go. Check out I’m With Stupid on Sunday for a very special “Oh Canada” episode. We’ll celebrate everything that is great about our good friends to the north!

IWS...Hatin' the Haters...and Lookin' for Some Facebook Love of Our Own.

Hiya Chuckleheads!!

Matt-Man here, and yes, I know, we usually do MSJS on Saturdays, but I have a few housekeeping items I would like to cover in regards to the IWS website and radio show.

First of all, Jayman and I would like to thank Carrie Welch, the former VP of Public Relations of The Television Food Network for commenting on Thursday’s post, a post which included a quasi-real, albeit not exactly true replication of what she most definitely did not actually say to Jayman in reference to his Wednesday post about how The Food Network these days, pretty much sucks.

Ms. Welch actually finds us funny and intimated in her comment that she would like to be a guest on our show sometime, which we would truly enjoy.

Let’s just hope that the lovely and fun-loving Ms. Welch’s remark is more truthful than the letter I wrote in her name.  But seriously, it was very nice of her, and we will beg her to be on work on scheduling her for a show in the very near future.

Secondly…

Did you know that IWS Radio has a Facebook Page?  No, we really do, it’s true!!  And…

156 of you adorable heathens know that, however…

Many of you have not “liked” our IWS Facebook Page.  In a word?  That’s just not right.

I mean c’mon…Everyday, either on the website and/or the radio twice a week, we provide you with quality entertainment at a fair price, and what do we get in return?

A mere 156 likes on our FB page and a whole lotta heartache.  It pains me to tell you that being the manly men that Jayman and I are, we sometimes cry over that fact, but….we do.

We’re only human, folks…and we yearn for your love, or in this case…your “like.”

Hell tell your friends to “like” us; you don’t even have to yourself, if you get them to do it for you.  Hell, we’re not picky.

Merely click on the IWS RADIO FACEBOOK PAGE and like us.  Yes, it’s that easy.

If the lovely Carrie Welch can take the time to comment on our website and offer to be on our radio show, you can take the time to like us two moronic, yet affable fellas on our Facebook page…..

Please?

And while we will work to schedule the lovely Ms. Welch for a soonly future show, this Sunday on IWS Radio live at Noon ET, Jayman and I will be scouring away all the hate from life and social media.

Man…cat fights, loud neighbors, bluntness beyond on belief…It was a hate-filled week, and we will be calling the haters out and try to bring peace and serenity to the world.

To catch us live Sunday at Noon ET…Click HERE for the Haters Gonna Hate II show on IWS on Blog Talk Radio.

Until then, this is the always loving, and not-a-hate-filled bone-in-my-body, Matt-Man bidding you…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

Matt Said, Jay Said XLIII

Matt talks, Jay talks, You listen.

Matt: Is this the person to whom I am speaking?
Jay: No
Matt: Then could you get the person to whom I am speaking please?
Jay: *sigh* I hate role playing with you … Hold on.

Jay: Holaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Matt: There you are!
Jay: Yeah, yeah, yeah
Matt: Oh I wish you could see this
Jay:  What?
Matt: One of my neighbors is carrying a tire into his apartment
Jay: Just a tire?
Matt: Yeah, it’s on the rim too.
Jay: Where’s the car it came off of?
Matt: I don’t know! Every car has four tires that I can see.
Jay: Well that’s odd.
Matt: Oh! Now his woman is outside yelling at him through the door.
Jay: At least we know whose car that tire came off of now.
Matt: This is way better than reality TV.
Jay: Damn right! Crazy neighbors are always fun.

Matt: So what are we gonna talk about on Sunday?
Jay: I dunno
Matt: Me either
Jay: There isn’t much going on
Matt: Well, it IS Father’s Day?
Jay: Yeahhhhhhhh
Matt: But, everyone will be talking about Father’s Day
Jay: Exactly. And my dad was a shitty father.
Matt: That would be a GREAT SHOW!
Jay: Ha! Probably.
Matt: We need something different from everyone else though.
Jay: Well, your entertaining neighbors would be a good show.
Matt: Oh yeah! Apartment living stories!
Jay: Life in the Hood!
Matt: What do you think Schmoop? Life in the Hood?
Schmoop: I love it!
Matt: Schmoop loves it, so …
Jay: So “Life in the Hood” it is!
Matt: There we go.
Jay: Wacky neighbors.
Matt: Stupid landlords.
Jay: Hookers
Matt: Drug dealers
Jay: Busybodies
Matt: Loudmouths
Jay: Oh this will be great
Matt: Should be no problem coming up with lots of good stories.

Jay: Oh look is about to have a show
Matt: I gotta listen to that
Jay: Why?
Matt: To punish myself. It’s a Catholic thing.
Jay: Have fun
Matt: Hold on, I can’t remember my password on my old BTR account
Jay: Ha!
Matt: Or my sign in. Damn.
Jay: That might be a problem.
Matt: Okay, they sent me the password.
Jay: That was nice of them
Matt: So now how do I get to his show?
Jay: Well, I would just click the link he just Tweeted
Matt: You assho … You’re gonna put this on Matt Said, Jay Said, aren’t you?
Jay: Oh yeah!

So, be sure to tune in on Sunday at 12 Noon ET for “Life in the Hood” on I’m With Stupid. And, call in at 661.244.9852 and tell us your best apartment living stories!

And to pass the time until that show, check out our Wacky Wednesday show which was full of witty banter and sexy callers!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XLII

Matt konuşuyor ... Jay konuşur, sen dinle.

Matt:  Helllllooooooo?
Jay:  What’s up hot shot?
Matt:  Hold on, I have to pee...talk to Schmoop for a second.
Jay:  Oh God…Hi Schmoop
Schmoop:  I have the funniest joke about babies and ham.
Jay:  Let’s hear it, babe.
Schmoop:  Babies look like ham…Hee
Jay:  Okayyy?
Schmoop:  I HATE ham.  HA!!
Jay:  Is that it?
Schmoop:  Yep!!
Jay:  Ummmm...Matt done peein’ yet?
Schmoop:  Herrrrrrre yaaaaaaa go.

Matt:  Jayman?  Don’t ever talk to Schmoop on a Thursday night when she is off on Friday.
Jay:  But you told me to.
Matt  Well, there’s a life-lesson for you…never listen to me.
Jay:  Duly noted.  In fact…I knew that, but evidently misplaced that part of my brain.

Matt:  Anyhoo…Good show Wednesday.  Did the uber-hot Warrior Kat have fun?
Jay:  Oh yeah, I think so.
Matt:  She’s hot.
Jay:  Back off Mister. I found her first.
Matt:  Easy fella.  Just sayin’.
Jay:  More often than not, your “just sayin” shit leads to problems.
Matt:  Duly noted.  In fact…I knew that, but evidently misplaced that part of my brain.

Matt and Jay:  Déjà Vu?

Jay:  So what should we do on the show this Sunday?
Matt:  Hey dig this…How ‘bout we do Joke Show II?
Jay:  Didn’t we just do one recently?
Matt:  That’s what I thought, but we did the Joke Show clear back in July of 2011.
Jay:  Holy shit…it doesn’t seem that long ago.
Matt:  IKR?

Jay:  Wow.  That’s cool; I’m sure we and other people have new jokes to tell.
Matt:  Yep, and we could talk about comedic timing…
Jay:  The art and science of a well told joke…
Matt:  How brevity is the soul of a good joke…
Jay:  How Drive-By Mikey and your son have never realized that fact.
Matt:  Word.

Jay:  It should be good.
Matt:  Hell yeah…Joke Show Part Deux  it is, at Noon ET on Sunday on Blog Talk Radio.
Jay:  I will have my rimshot ready.
Matt:  I bet you say that to all the boys.
Jay:  You sick fuck.

Matt:  Hee…See you Sunday at Noon ET on IWS Radio, Jayman!!
Jay:  It’s going to be awesome jocularity!!

Matt Said, Jay Said XLI

Matt השיחות, Jay השיחות, You להקשיב.

Matt: “For what possible reason could you be disturbing my evening?”
Jay: “I don’t need a reason. I just do what I want, WHEN I want.”
Matt: “Well, that doesn’t make it right.”
Jay: “And what important activity did you have planned?”
Matt: “I’m sitting here watching Schmoop eat dinner.”
Jay: “That’s hot. What is she eating?”
Matt: “Some beans, a mini burger and some potato salad.”
Jay: “Mmm .. Wait, is it REAL potato salad?”
Matt: “No, it’s store bought.”
Jay: “No, I mean does it actually have potatoes?”
Matt: “Oh yeah, it’s not broccoli and lima bean salad.”
Jay: “Thank God.”

Jay: “So how did your anniversary go?”
Matt: “Oh just wonderful.”
Jay: “Great!”
Matt: “Yeah, it was … just … great.”
Jay: “That’s good to hear.”
Matt: “Mm-Hmm”
Jay: “Yup”
Matt: “Special day.”
Jay: “Totally.”
*awkward silence*
Jay: “Well, alrighty then!”
Matt: “Oh yeah!”

Jay: “So … You won’t be available for next Wednesday’s show?”
Matt: “Nope, I’ll have to cover for Drive By Mikey.”
Jay: “Hmmm … Well, maybe we just won’t have a show that day.”
Matt: “You could do the show by yourself.”
Jay: “Ha! My bladder is getting nervous just at the suggestion!”
Matt: “Okay, TMI, but you could get a special guest host.”
Jay: “Maybe, we’ll see.”
Matt: “Whatever you want to do.”
Jay: “If I get a special guest host you could still call in from the Beer Mine.”
Matt: “Yeah, and I got a cell phone.”
Jay: “Cool. What’s the number?”
Matt: “I don’t know.”
Jay: “Might want to find that out.”
Matt: “I got it from Wild Bill today. I’ll have to learn all about and how it works.”
Jay: “Oh okay.”

*Lots of discussion about how is so fucking smoking hot. Some discussion about how is an asshole. Slight disagreement over the hotness level of .*

Jay: “Okay then that’s about all I’ve got.”
Matt: “Alright Jayman.”
Jay: “Enjoy your evening Mattcicle.”
Matt: I will and you …. OH HEY!”
Jay: “Yes?”
Matt: “What about Sunday’s show?”
Jay: “Oh right, show prep! Uh, I was thinking Joke Show Part 2 …”
Matt: “That’s not bad right there.”
Jay: “Or your idea of “What Women Want.”
Matt: “Oh that’s a better idea!”
Jay: “Yeah, What Women Want fits our area of expertise better.”
Matt: “Damn right!”
Jay: “Okay, we’re set!”
Matt: “Gonna be HUGE!”
Jay: “Hell yeah! Night-Night Pookie.”
Matt: “Okay, night Sassy Pants.”

And that’s how the magic is made kids. Be sure to join us for “What Women Want” on I’m With Stupid Sunday at 12 Noon ET!

Matt Said Jay Said XXXIX

Matt 会談, Jay 会談, You 聞く.

Matt: “You again? This is getting to be a habit.”
Jay: “I’m a man of many bad habits.”
Matt: “Don’t share them with me you sick fuck.”
Jay: “I’m sure you already dream about ‘em.”
Matt: “I’ll dream about my final Google Image Search of the night.”
Jay: “Midget porn?”
Matt: “Noooo”
Jay: “Clown porn?”
Matt: “Horrifying!”
Jay:  “IKR?! Just mentioning it will leave me scarred for life.”
Matt: “No, I search ‘Pizza.’”
Jay: “Mmmmmm … Cheese oozing off the sides.”
Matt: “I really don’t like the word ‘ooze’ if you don’t mind, but greasy is sexy.”

Jay: “Our Mother’s Day show is #4!!”
Matt: “We’re blowing up!”
Jay: “We’re, as the kids say, killin it!”
Matt: “Do they say that?”
Jay: “Of course they do.”
Matt: “I’ll take your word for it.”
Jay: “I have my finger on the pulse of pop culture and all that stuff.”
Matt: “Be careful where you put that thing.”
Jay: “I’ve always been super careful ever since that incident in grade school.”

Matt: “OH MY GOD!”
Jay: “I’m joking. Sheesh.”
Matt: “No, no that. Schmoop is devouring some chicken nuggets and fries.”
Jay: “That’s hot!”
Matt: “Yes it is! She’s so aggressive.”
Jay: “Like a lioness tearing into a zebra?”
Matt: “Kinda.”
Jay: “You need to get some video.”
Matt: “She would be famous.”
Jay: “I’m gonna dream about THAT tonight.”
Matt: “You and me both.”

Matt: “I have a couple of ideas for this Sunday.”
Jay: “Lay it on me stud.”
Matt: “You know Mitch Albom’s 7 People You Meet in Heaven?”
Jay: “I hate him, but go on.”
Mat: “Well, we could do People You Meet on Earth.”
Jay: “You mean people who influenced us in some way.”
Matt: “Yeah!”
Jay: “Like good advice and mentored us and shit.”
Matt: “Exactly. Or bad advice.”
Jay: “And we can pay if forward with our own great advice.”
Matt: “If we have any.”
Jay: “We’ll think of some by Sunday.”
Matt: “Sounds good!”
Jay: “Another MONSTER show coming up!”
Matt: “That’s hot.”

And there you go kids, another sneak peek into the world of IWS staff meetings. Be sure to catch us LIVE on I’m With Stupid this and every Sunday at 12 Noon ET talking about great advice and all that stuff. It’s gonna be fun!  

Matt Said, Jay Said XXXVIII

Matt talar. Jay talar. Þú hlusta.

Matt:  Who is this?  How’d you get this number?  Are you looking for Schmoop?  Well, she isn--

Jay:  Dumb fuck.

Matt:  How the hell are ya?

Jay:  I feel exceedingly average this evening, which for me, is top notch.

Matt:  That’s good.  I’m feeling to be about a C+ myself.

Jay:  So I guess our show topic for Sunday is already de factorally set for us.

Matt:  Yeah, and by the way, I love it when you speak, Latin-torally.

Jay:  Well you did refer to me as, better than Cicero the other day.

Matt:  Yeah, but I was kidd---

Jay:  No. No.  I have you saying that live on air and your statement is now and forever laid upon, and contained within, the audio of the IWS radio archives.

Matt:  Okay very good.  You cogito; ergo you sum.

Jay:  Damn right and a guten tag to you too, Mister.  Now, on this Sunday’s Mothers’ Day Show, I think…

(type, type, type)

Jay:  Are you typing while we are prepinating?  That’s kinda rude dude, but I’m sure in your world it is of the “utmost importance.”  Dear God.

Matt:  I was responding to a message from Tamra.

Jay:  Our Tamra?

Matt:  Yes.  THE Tamra.

Jay:  Oh.  Well then…that is perfectly acceptable.  What is she saying?

Matt:  She says that she has new pictures up.

Jay:  Quick!!

Jay and Matt:  To the Facebook Machine!!

Matt and Jay:  We’ve seen those already.  Rats!!

Jay:  Oh well her pics are always worth a second look…and a third…and a fourth…

Matt:  Mmmmmmmm.  Are we going to be talking about hot mothers on our Mother’s Day Show this Sunday?

Jay:  Dude…Do you really need to ask that question?

Matt:  What was I thinking, of course we are.

Jay:  Annnnnd…We can talk about the best moms.

Matt:  The worst moms.

Jay:  Step-Moms.

Matt:  And of course, our moms.

Jay:  True Dat.

Matt:  I tell ya Jayman…If folks don’t listen to our Mother’s Day Show on Blog Talk Radio at Noon ET, it’s as if they are virtually bitch slapping their own mamas.

Jay:  And if they do that, that makes them, personas non gravitas.

Matt:  Uh-huh…exactly.  Talk to you Sunday at Noon.  Later, Cicero.

Jay:  Danke, and Bon Voyage!!
.

Matt Said, Jay Said XXXVII

Matt sgyrsiau, Jay sgyrsiau, You gwrando.

Matt: “The Rooster is in the hen house.”
Jay: “The wet bird flies at night.”
Matt: “The hay is in the barn.”
Jay: “The dishwasher has been filled.”
Matt: “What?”
Jay: “What what?”
Matt: “The dishwasher?”
Jay: “What dishwaser?”
Matt: “The one you said is filled. I never heard that one.”
Jay: “I’m unaware of any such dishwasher, filled or otherwise.”
Matt: “Exterminate with extreme prejudice.”
Jay: “That dude was creepy.”
Matt: “He still gives me nightmares.”

Matt: “So what was for dinner?”
Jay: “Chili dogs!”
Matt: “Nice. How were they?”
Jay: “Explosive!”
Matt: “Ha! Just as you said that Schmoop warned me that the beans are spicy tonight.”
Jay: “That’s awesome. Save some for lunch right before work tomorrow.”
Matt: “Oh I don’t need to. They linger.”
Jay: “How can I help you? ... pfffffffft” 
Matt: “Ice? .... Ppffffffffft .... Sure.”
Jay: “Here’s your change. Take this witcha pffffffft.”
Matt: “Hey kid, roll the window down. Now, pull Uncle Matty’s finger.”
Jay: "HA! And people call us immature!"
Matt: "IKR?! I just don't see it." 

Jay: “We need a show topic for Sunday.”
Matt: “I was thinking “Why Do They Hate Us.”
Jay: “Well, that’s not bad.”
Matt: “You don’t like it?”
Jay: “Well, they don’t really hate ME.”
Matt: “I’m starting to.”
Jay: “But people don’t hate us.”
Matt: “Okay, live in your fantasy world. Something else then.”
Jay: “Not sure what it should be.”

Matt: “How bout how grumpy we’re getting as we get older.”
Jay: “Oh I like that! Just rant about stuff pissing off.”
Matt: “We need a longer show.”
Jay: “Hell, we could do this every single week.”
Matt: “I wouldn’t ever run out of stuff.”
Jay: “We can call it “Grumpy Old Men.”
Matt: “Middle Aged Men”
Jay: “Yeah, that’s more accurate.”
Matt: “Right, because I’m thinking of getting some gold chains.”
Jay: “And a Corvette.”
Matt: “There’s goes a motorcycle. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!”
Jay: “Ha! Get off my lawn!”
Matt: “Oh that should be the name of the show!”
Jay: “Perfect!”

So there you go kids. Another peek behind the crazy curtain. And, be sure to join us Sunday at Noon ET for our “Get Off My Lawn” show! We’ll rant about the things that are pissing us off and getting on our nerves. And, you can call in with your own rants too! Do iiiiiiiiiit!! 

Matt Said...Jay Said XXXVI

Matt говори…Jay говори.  You, слушам.

Matt:  Hello?  Helloooooo?  Hel….
Jay:  Kirk Douglasssish here.
Matt:  Ha.  Your Kirk Douglas impression is almost perfected.
Jay:  Thanks!!  I was thinking I may take it a step further as well.
Matt:  How So?
Jay:  Thought I might grab me an ice pick and put a dimple in my rugged, manly chin.
Matt:  You truly suffer for your craft.
Jay:  IKR?

Matt:  Before we get started on show prep…What did you have for ‘sup tonight?  I need an idea.
Jay:  I had sole for the first time ever.
Matt:  Was it good?
Jay:  It was m’eh.  Kinda bland…in fact, one could say…
Matt and Jay:  IT HAD NO SOUL.
Matt:  We are so punny.

Jay:  We need to pick our babes for the Official 2012 IWS Babe Draft which along with their pictures, will appear on our website this Sunday.
Matt:  I am so ready.  I wrote down my four picks while at work today.
Jay:  Okay…you go first.
Matt:  With the first overall pick…I choose (name redacted)
Jay:  Sweeeeet. My first pick is (name redacted)
Matt:  She’s freaking hot, but I got my next one, Jayman…(name redacted)
Jay:  Oh baby, adding a little color I see.  Well, I give you this hottie…(name redacted)
Matt:  But she has fairly big ones; that is so unlike you.
Jay:  Yeah but she has her Aztec goin’ on.

Matt:  Sweeeet.  Let’s see…my third pick is, drum roll please…(name redacted)
Jay:  Why didn’t the Secret Service hit on her?  Anyhoodle, my next pick is, (name redacted)
Matt:  I don’t know her.
Jay:  Well, come Sunday, you will see her; know her; and love her.
Matt:  Okay my last pick.  The Dame of the Danes…One Miss (name redacted)
Jay:  She seems like a nice girl. And my final pick while you hand me the chopsticks…One Miss (name redacted)

Matt:  That’s a pretty good line-up.
Jay:  Well hell yeah.
Matt: We do good work.
Jay:  Hello?  Of course.

Matt:  And on IWS Radio Sunday at Noon ET, we will be doing the Prom Show?
Jay:  It’s gonna be huge, and I think we are prepared.
Matt:  But we didn’t talk about it
Jay and Matt:  (silence)
Jay and Matt:  Yeah we’re ready.

See you Sunday on the Radio, and to check out our Babe choices, come back here on Sunday!!

Matt Said...Jay Said XXXV

Matt Puhuu.  Jay Puhuu.  You, Kuunnella.

Matt:  You’ve reached the Immaturity Help-Line, how may I direct your childish call?
Jay:  Hey there TUFF GUY.
Matt:  How you doin’, you BAD ASS, you?
Jay:  Man, who knew what a draft dodging pussy Ted Nugent was and is?
Matt:  Ha Ha…Wait for it…
Jay and Matt:  WE DID!!

Matt:  Poor tough guy Ted.
Jay:  Yeah.  The Motor City Fancy Boy couldn’t show up for Vietnam, but he did for our website.
Matt:  And for that, we are eternally grateful.
Jay:  Or something.

Matt:  Hey did you see that we have been getting hits from NBC Universal out of NYC?
Jay:  Oh hell yes I did.  They probably want to make a sitcom out of us being internet radio stars.
Matt:  Probably, but we are so above that type of mindless, ghetto tripe.
Jay:  We are?
Matt:  No, not really.
Jay:  Maybe it’s Tamron Hall who is checking us out.
Matt:  In my fantasy life I think you are right, and I just got a boner.
Jay:  I’d prefer you keep your erection updates to yourself.

Matt:  You know what I can’t keep to myself?
Jay:  What’s that, your self-loathing?
Matt:  No, no, no…They way we were viciously attacked as being immature, 12 year old boys this week.
Jay:  Ohhhh, no kiddin’!!  I have spent the week re-examining my inner-self after that, and I’m still pissed.
Matt:  Same here.
Jay:  We should address this beyond the website.
Matt:  Someone needs to go down for that incalcitrant remark.

Jay:  I mean…that observation holds no weight.
Matt:  IKR?  And dig it.  I was chatting with a hot babe and she said that she is taking a bath now so she can listen to our show while clean and shiny.
Jay:  That’s sweet, but she’ll need another one after listening to us.
Matt:  You know what would be really hot?
Jay:  Ha Ha…wait for it…
Matt and Jay:  IF SHE LISTENED TO US WHILE TAKING A BATH!!

Jay:  Anyhoodle, on Sunday’s show, we need to answer these charges about being all immature n’shit.
Matt:  I agree.  Because we both know we can be funny and still address serious issues logically.
Jay:  Damn straight, and thus, the show is scheduled and I titled it, “But Seriously Folks”
Matt:  That is brilliant, and…quite mature.
Jay:  Thank You.
Matt:  You’re welcome and I will see you on the radio Sunday at Noon ET on I’m With Stupid.
Jay:  Damn right you will, and the blasphemer is going to get a more than public dressing down.
Matt:  Word.

Join us Sunday at Noon ET on IWS on Blog Talk Radio.  We will be defending our honor and maturity, and hope you listen and call-in to help us.

Cheers!!

Matt Said, Jay Said XXXIV

Matt rozmowy, Jay rozmowy, You słuchać.

Matt: “Hell? Yes? Who the hell is this? This is a private number asshole.”
Jay: “Korean Wocket go BOOM!”
Matt: “That’s offensive and not funny.”
Jay: “It was named the ‘Newt Gingrich.’”
Matt: “That’s mildly amusing.”
Jay: “The Bobby Petrino?”
Matt: “Umm …. No, go with the ‘Newt.’”
Jay: “Okay, I trust your comedy judgment.”
Matt: “I’m a professional.”

Jay: "At all times!" 

Jay: “OOOOOO”
Matt: “What?”
Jay: “I just got poked by Jo!”
Matt: “Really? Was it exciting?”
Jay: “Oh YEAHHHHH!”
Matt: “Did you poke her back?”
Jay: “Aggressively”
Matt: “Did she poke back?”
Jay: “Oh yeah! She just did!”
Matt: “This is hot. I’m gonna need a cigarette.”
Jay: “So am I!”
Matt: “Did you poke back again.”
Jay: “I’m not gonna talk about it.”
Matt: “Why?”
Jay: “Cause you’re creeping me out dude.”
Matt: "Pfffft. You know you like me creepy." 

Matt: “We have freshly toasted Subway Sandwiches chilling in the fridge”
Jay: “That’s just odd.”
Matt: “Subway? No, it’s delicious.”
Jay: “No, not Subway, the way you chill your dinner.”
Matt: “That’s completely normal.”
Jay: “Do you ever eat hot foods?”
Matt: “Yes, we microwave it to heat it up.”
Jay: “So you cook it, chill it, and then microwave it?”
Matt: “You’re being very judgmental of our dining habits.”
Jay: “Nooooooo. I just find you fascinating.”
Matt: “I'm Matt Mahoney dammit, and I like to reheat my food!!”
Jay: “Dude. It’s okay. A little weird, but you can do that. This is America dammit!”

Jay: “So Local News Show on Sunday?”
Matt: “I already have some fascinating stories from the paper for us.”
Jay: “Cool, I have a pile of ‘em too”
Matt: “There’s so much shit going down here all the time, it’s ridiculous.”
Jay: “Oh same here. It’s a freaking madhouse for such a small town.”
Matt: “We’ll give people a little bit of taste of what it’s like here.”
Jay: “They’ll be charmed.”
Mat: “Well, we’re already damn charming.”
Jay: “True dat.”

Another round of two drunk guys talking shit two brilliant minds discussing the most important issues of our time! And, don’t forget to join us at 12 Noon ET Sunday for our “Local News Show” on I’m With Stupid! It’s gonna be a blast!

Matt Said...Jay Said XXXIII

Jay loquitur….Matt loquitur.  You…audire.

Jayman:  Hellooooooooo, is the lady of the hou---?
Matt-Man:  Man, this sucks.
Jayman:  What does?  That I called?  You told me to call you...you passive-aggressive little man, you.
Matt-Man:  No, no, no...that we have to do our show prepination on Friday nights now.

Jayman:  Well…If Drive-By Mikey would stop changing your hours and you wouldn’t take your kid out to breakfast, all would be on schedule.
Matt-Man:  Well…I have no choice when it comes to Mike, but my kid needs me.
Jayman:  You are the last thing Ryno needs.
Matt-Man:  Huh…That’s exactly what his mom says.

Jayman:  So Sunday’s show…The big Easter Extravaganza!!  Woo Hoo!!
Matt-Man:  Gonna be huge…What should we talk about?
Jayman:  Oh I don’t know…Easter stuff.
Matt-Man:  See?  That’s why you are a marketing genius.
Jayman:  Oh hush.  I don’t take compliments well.
Matt-Man:  Are you blushing?
Jayman:  Oh Hell no…I encourage compliments. I probably don’t get as many as I deserve.

Matt-Man:  We can talk about Easter memories from our childhoods.
Jayman:  That’s always a crowd pleaser.  We could also talk about the significance of Easter itself.
Matt-Man:  Exactly…We like to have fun, but be historically accurate and informational as well.
Jayman:  Right…and that is why we should shine the light on those who we deem to be God-Awful Christians.
Matt-Man;  Damn right…Some people take God’s name in vain, just by waking up in the morning.
Jayman:  Exactly…There are some alleged “Christians” who should simply be shot.  Just sayin’.
Matt-Man:  Word.

Jayman:  Sounds like a great show…Jay, Matt, and Jesus.  What the Hell could be better?
Matt-Man:  Damn right…Oh, and we could talk about what we are having for our Easter feasts.

Jayman:  Well, you’re pretty much having any dough like substance that doesn’t move, aren’t ya?
Matt-Man:  Oh yeahhhhhh, but that does NOT include Newt Gingrich…and you?
Jayman:  I’m keeping that under wraps until the show, baby.
Matt-Man:  Once again with the clever marketing, you stud, you.

Jayman:  Well, I guess we’re set.
Matt-Man:  I guess we are.
Jayman:  Okay then…
Matt-Man:  Alright…
Jayman:  Hang up now.
Matt-Man:  No, you hang up first.
Jayman:  Let’s hang up together
Matt-Man:  Okay
Jayman:  One…
Matt-Man: Two…
Schmoop (from the Bagwine dining room table):  Hang the damn phones up you insufferable Marys!!
Jayman and Matt-Man:  Hee...“click”

So guys and gals, join Jayman and Matt-Man tomorrow, Easter Sunday on I’m With Stupid as they break down all things resurrection related on their big Easter Extravaganza.

That’s tomorrow, Easter Sunday, live at 12 Noon ET on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio.

Oh…Need a link to the live show?  It’s in your Easter basket right…HERE!!

Cheers!!

Mat Said Jay Said XXXII

Matt переговоры, Jay переговоры, You слушать.

Matt: “Why hello there young man!”
Jay: “Howdy Do!”
Matt: *bang* “Owe! Damn!”
Jay: “What the hell man?”
Matt: “I just banged my knee on the desk.”
Jay: “Dumb ass.”
Matt: “That was hurtful.”
Jay: “Well yeah, the knee is sensitive.”
Matt: “I was talking about YOU.”
Jay: “Me?? Insensitive? No way, I’m sweet ask anyone.”
Matt: “Oh I know. I’ve heard non-stop how sweet you are.”
Jay: “See?”
Matt: “And I’m thinking it’s about time to set the record STRAIGHT!”
Jay: “Now THAT hurts.”

Jay: “We have decent blog traffic, but we need more comments.”
Matt: “I agree. Comments and interacting with people is part of the fun.”
Jay: “Of course, you know the only way to get comments…”
Matt: “I know, we have to comment on other blogs more.”
Jay: “So, I was thinking we could assign each of us blogs to comment on.”
Matt: “How many”
Jay: “I don’t know. Like 5 or 6 each day, but not the same ones every day.”
Matt: “Oh yeah, that way there’s no overlap and we can hit lots of blogs.”
Jay: “Right.”
Matt: “Okay, we should find blogs we like and then figure out the schedule.”
Jay: “Good idea. I’ll take the blogs written by Asian chicks.”
Matt: “Ha! Of course you will!”
Jay: “You can have all the longwinded people who write like 2,000 words a day.”
Matt: “Uh, I think we might need to balance this out a bit.”
Jay: “Oh, okay. That’s cool. I’m all about fairness.”

Jay: “So Dana and Mike are coming on to talk May-December relationships.”
Matt: “Will Mike be out of his Sunday School class in time?”
Jay: “Yeah, the youngest go early.”
Matt: “Excellent!”
Jay: “At the pace we’re going, we might run out of jokes before the show.”
Matt: “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Jay: “I’m sure we’ll have enough ammo.”
Matt: “I can make juvenile jokes to infinity.”
Jay: “That’s why you’re so popular.”
Matt: “It’s almost a burden.”
Jay: “I have no doubt.”
Matt: “So we’ll “Rock the Cradle of Love?”
Jay: “Yup, and Dana can talk about being a Cougar.”
Matt: “This is gonna be a HUGE show!”
Jay: “Even by our standards, this will be pretty big!”

Alright folks, more genius in action right there. And don’t forget that we will Rock the Cradle of Love on Sunday at 12 Noon ET on I’m With Stupid. We’ll have Dana and Mike on to discuss dating someone who is wayyy older and/or younger than you. It should be fascinating and quite possibly full of really juvenile jokes. But, mostly informative and interesting. Hopefully. Maybe. 

Matt Said, Jay Said XXI

Matt pale…Jay pale…You, koute.

Matt:  Hellro?
Jay:  Hellooooooo?
Matt and Jay:  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Matt:  How the hell are ya?
Jay:  Oh fine.  I actually slept through the night last night.
Matt:  That’s good.  You still sound plugged up n’shit.
Jay:  I’ll muddle through.  I’m a trooper.
Matt:  Indeed you are.  How’s the ear, van Gogh?
Jay: Better…it only feels like there is a needle in it, once in awhile.

Matt:  So what topic should we bastardize on the show this Sund---
Jay:  Oh no way…
Matt:  What?
Jay:  Geraldo Rivera just said that Trayvon Martin’s wearing of the hoodie was just as responsible for his death as George Zimmerman was.
Matt:  Ha. Funny.
Jay:  No, he really did.
Matt:  What the fuck?  Oh dear God, Rivera is a moron, and in this case, a douchebag as well.

Jay:  Following that logic, the scorn and ridicule cast upon Rick Santorum is due to him wearing sweater vests.
Matt:  Well…It is, partially.
Jay:  Okay, bad analogy.
Matt:  So what we be talking about this Sunday?

Jay:  Well I have several ideas…most of them infantile.
Matt:  Those are the best ones.
Jay:  We can do the Asian Celebration Show…The Hangover Show which we have talked about, or…
Matt:  You sound excited; lay it on me.
Jay:  We could do…are you sitting down?
Matt: No, but go ahead.
Jay:  The Hunger Games Show!!
Matt:  Holy Crap!!  You are a fricking marketing genius.
Jay:  I KNOW, Right!?

Matt: We could talk about the foods and…
Jay:  And other stuff we hunger for.
Matt:  Mmmmmmm…like Tyra Banks.
Jay:  And Tammmmmmra
Matt:  And an obscenely large pizza fully loaded.
Jay:  That’s HOT!!

Matt:  We’ll take your idea, let our show hits coattail on the movie, and talk about what we hunger for in life.
Jay:  Sometimes I hunger for myself when I am this brilliant.
Matt:  We all hunger for you.
Jay:  As I sensed some sarcasm in that reply, we should end our show prep, sine die.
Matt:  Otay, but make sure you wish your Mom a Happy Birthday for me on Saturday.
Jay:  Alright.

Matt:  I’m going to send her a heartfelt birthday wish via e-mail tomorrow as well.
Jay:  You sick fuck.
Matt:  What?

Jay:  You will refrain from being gross and creepy, right?

Matt:  Jay, it’s me, Matt-Man…c’mon.
Jay:  Uh-huh.  Later dude…time to watch Alex Wagner’s eyebrows.
Matt:  Okay Hot Shot.
Jay:  “click, click, click”

Make sure you catch Jayman and Matt-Man Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio, as they discuss The Hunger Games.  To listen live, click HERE, and as always, share your hunger pangs with them, by calling in at 661.244.9852.

Matt Said, Jay Said XXIX

Matt negociações, Jay negociações, You ouvir.

Matt: “Rock me like a hurricane big guy!”
Jay: “I’m not sure I have enough energy for that.”
Matt: “Like a strong spring storm then?”
Jay: “I can handle that.”
Matt: “I bet you can.”
Jay: “I’ll rock you like Mitt is rocking Alabama.”
Matt: “He likes grits.”
Jay: “Y’all.”
Matt: “I bet there won’t be any video of Mitt hugging a black guy this week.”
Jay: “Oh hell no.”

Matt: “You sound a little stopped up.”
Jay: “Allergies and sinuses are killing me.”
Matt: “It’s that time of year.”
Jay: “I’m stopped up, hacking, sneezing, got a headache.”
Matt: “Awww that’s too bad.” *yawns*
Jay: “Did you just yawn?”
Matt: “Noooooo. Not at all. Just a little distracted.”
Jay: “Mmm Hmm”
Matt: “Did you see *name redacted's* new profile pic on Facebook.”
Jay: “No! I better check that out. ... Oh wow! And, an Iron Maiden t-shirt.”
Matt: “She’s just ridiculously cute.”
Jay: “And, she posted a Romones video.”
Matt: “I hate the Ramones, but it doesn’t bother me that she loves them.”
Jay: “How can you hate the Ramones?”
Matt: “Oh, it’s easy.”

Jay: “I’m already tired of hearing about this Kony dude.”
Matt: “Who is this guy.”
Jay: “He’s an African Warlord who uses child soldiers.”
Matt:! “And? That’s not exactly a new thing.”
Jay: “Well, some group is after him and now everyone is on the bandwagon.”
Matt: “It’s probably too full for me to jump on it then.”
Jay: “I thought K-O-N-Y was a radio station in New York.”
Matt: “Stay with us on K-O-N-Y as we rock the night away!”
Jay: “Turns out it’s a country station in Utah.”
Matt: “I bet they spell country with a ‘K’”
Jay: “KONY Kountry is very close to ‘corny’ country.”
Matt: “That I would listen to!”

Matt: “What are we gonna do for Sunday?”
Jay: “Well, we could just hang out and chat.” *yawn*
Matt: “Don’t YOU start that!”
Jay: “I have no control over it.”
Jay: “Anyway, we could talk about Spring, getting ripped off again...”
Matt: “Ripped off?
Jay: “Oh yeah, another one of the big guys stole something from us.”
Matt: “We’re gonna have to do something about this.”
Jay: “We’ll definitely talk about this.”
Matt: “Damn right. We can also update lent, talk about Darryl Parks too.”
Jay: “Right, because he likes us. So does Adrianne Curry.”
Matt: “There’s lots to talk about.”
Jay: “We’ll call it “Sunday Picnic.”
Matt: “I’ll bring the ants.”
Jay: “I hate the outdoors.”
Matt: “Because bugs are yucky?”  
Jay: *shudders* “Yes”
Matt: “Pussy”  

So, there you have it. Don’t forget to listen to I’m With Stupid on Sunday at 12 Noon ET as we have a Sunday Picnic. Remember, if you don’t listen then you hate Jesus and America.

And puppies.