Cain, Lohan, Kardashian and Bieber: Just Playin' the Game

Hola Bitches! Whew! What a week it’s been on the fake outrage front, huh? Herman Cain has been accused of sexually harassing at least three women. Kim Kardashian filed for divorce after ONLY 72 days of marriage and a wedding where she allegedly received well over $10 million dollars. Lindsay Lohan has been sent back to jail for probation violation. Aaaaannnnd, as if that’s not enough, a sweet, innocent young lady named Mariah Yeater has filed a PETERNITY SUIT against Justin Bieber!

Biebs? Knocked up some chick? Say it isn’t so!

Quick EPIC sexual harassment story:

I worked for a manufacturing company while going to college back in the 90s. We had a guy who worked in shipping who liked to come to work in drag. That wasn’t the problem though. In fact, nobody ever said a word to him. Mostly because we all knew if we said even one negative thing to him/her we would get fired, and because most of us didn’t really give much of a shit.

So, a guy riding around on a stand up forklift while wearing a dress had very little effect on anyone there. However, management did take a rather dim view of his deciding to go commando during the summer months. And, then one day when he jumped off the forklift in front of a couple of guys, lifted his dress up, shook it and yelled “WHEW! LOVE THAT BREEZE TODAY!” he got himself fired.

As the old saying goes: “Go Big or Go Home.” He did both.

Anyhoo, maybe we should all take a step back and give these stories a little room and reassess what’s going on. We’re so busy knee-jerk reacting to stuff we read on the internet and applying society’s silly little “rules” that we don’t bother to wait for the facts to come out.

You know what else is fascinating about these stories? The immediate reaction of most people in society to blame the women involved. Except for the Herman Cain story, of course, in his case we’ll just blame the black guy. Man, it’s great to know that some things just never change.

People want Lindsay Lohan thrown in jail for a looooooooong time, but they don’t know what for. They think Kim Kardashian committed fraud against all the companies that sponsored her wedding, yet give that lunkhead Kris Humphries a total pass and act like he’s innocent. Mariah Yeater? ARREST HER FOR STATUTORY RAPE! What about Selena Gomez? That’s different, she’s famous. And, of course the assumption that Herman Cain must have done something wrong or these sweet, innocent, defenseless women would never have made those accusations.

Maybe everyone involved was just doing their thang? Everyone is just playing the game. What’s the big deal? Herman was just trying to get a little lovin from some young hotties. Justin was just doing what rock stars do and getting busy with a groupie. Lindsay is just living the thug life like she always has. And Kim is just working it the way society taught her to.

As for Herman’s victims? They got hit on by the HNIC and knew they could make a little spending money. Hermmy made it rain for them with his propositions. Kris Humphries? Got to be one of the whitest dudes to bang Kim Kardashian, made a little money and stayed busy during the NBA lockout. And Mariah Yeater? She’s got 18 years (possibly) of big time child support payments coming her way.

See? Everyone’s gonna be okay here. There’s no reason to get upset over these things. Well, except for Lindsay is an obvious victim of our corrupt and incompetent justice system. But, we can’t really change that.

As the late, great Omar Little once said: “It’s all in the game, yo. It’s all in the game.”

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws

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In other news we talked about both Herman Cain and Justin Bieber today on our “Let a Playa Play” episode of I’m With Stupid. We also talked a little about sexual harassment and did some show prep for Saturday’s “Pizza Extravaganza” show.  Please just ignore the part where I screwed up my “John Huntsman has an Asian fetish joke.” It was a cheap shot anyway, the Comedy Gods made sure I screwed it up.

Anyway, it was another 45 minute so quality entertainment at a fair price. Thanks for listening!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XI

Matt said a few things, Jay said a few things, and then we moved on.

Matt: “Howdy Ho!”
Jay: “Ever notice that I’m always the one doing the calling.”
Matt: “Hmm … What’s up with that?”
Jay: “Nobody ever calls me. No texts, messages or calls. Ever.” *SIGH*
Matt: “Jay, the Self-Pity Show is over.”
Jay: “It never ends for me.”
Matt: “Awww”
Jay: “That wasn’t a very sincere sounding ‘aww’”
Matt: “It’s the best I can do though.”

Jay: “I posted Wednesday’s show EVERYWHERE”
Matt: “You are a marketing guru.”
Jay: “Yeah, and I played up the strange “turning asexual” talk we had.”
Matt: “That was a little weird. But, weird things happen like that sometimes.”
Jay: “And, I figured those people might be some untapped listener.”
Matt: “Nobody really reaches out to touch them much.”
Jay: “True. And they’re kind of lonely.”
Matt: “As are most of society’s outcasts.”
Jay: “Just like us.”
Matt: “We can certainly relate to others who just don’t fit in.”

Jay: “Lindsay Lohan posing for playboy!”
Matt: “Dreams we didn’t know we had are coming true.”
Jay: “Only 8 to 10 years too late.”
Matt: “Exactly. Hope Miley doesn’t make this mistake. She’s pushing it already.”
Jay: “She’s practically an old hag by now. Miley, not Lindsay. Lindsay has been for a while.”
Matt: “True. True.”

Matt: “New maintenance chick here at the Digs.”
Jay: “Oh really? A maintenance babe?”
Matt: “I’m watching her rake leaves. Apparently this is a VERY physically demanding activity.”
Jay: “Lots of bending and repetitive motion.”
Matt: “Just a carpal tunnel worker’s comp claim waiting to happen.”
Jay: “Poor girl, but what can they do. She’s a girl, so she can’t do actual maintenance work.”
Matt: “Can’t give her power tools! She’ll hurt someone.”
Jay: “So she has to do women’s work. Cleaning, sweeping, raking.”
Matt: “And she doesn’t appear to enjoy it.”
Jay: “I hope she runs into Angry Mailman. That would be quite the encounter.”
Matt: “They might run off together.”

Jay: “Okay, so Halloween Extravaganza?”
Matt: “You could call it ‘Spooktacular’ cause no one ever uses that!”
Jay: “Creeptacular?”
Matt: “Oh yeah! We are definitely creepy enough for that.”
Jay: “That’s why the chicks dig us.”
Matt: “They can tell we know how to get our freak on.”
Jay: “Even in asexual ways.”
Matt: “We are men of many talents.”
Jay: “Okay, Halloween show of some kind.”
Matt: “I’m no it! Gonna be great.”
Jay: “We always are!”
Matt: “Can’t wait!”

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While waiting for that show, you can listen to Wednesday’s absolutely hilarious and entertaining show. It was 45 minutes of pure randomness and irreverence that we are famous for. We rapidly, yet efficiently made our way through Lindsay Lohan, SEO marketing issues with the website, Mitt Romney and his bad week, some Halloween Show prep, turning asexual and eating Pringles Sour Cream and Onion potato chips.

That’s quality entertainment at a fair price right there. We hope you listen and enjoy the show because making you, our readers, listeners and friends happy is all we’ve got what it’s all about.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Only a Lindsay Lohan Lesbian Movie ...

Could have made this week any better.

Hola Bitches!

Well, it's been a pretty amazing week. Let's see what all happened.

The biggest news of the week was that the “I'm With Stupid” humor blog went live to great fanfare. We'd like to remind anyone who would like to be a regular or irregular contributor to the blog to let us know!

Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman and his perfect hair, MAN those Mormons have great hair, announced he was officially running for the GOP nomination for president. His speech was so boring that even Fox News broke away from it to talk about suddenly exciting by comparison Tim T-Paw Pawlenty.

President Obama addressed the nation Wednesday night to talk about his plan to begin the slow draw down of troops in Afghanistan. He also ignored both his own lawyers and congress and pressed on with US support of bombing of Libya. Obama makes all these war decisions while stroking his Nobel Peace Prize.

The Cleveland Cavaliers made Duke's Kyrie Irving the number one over all selection in this year's NBA draft. You know LeBron James is really hated when people prefer a Duke guy to him.

One of the things we have found by going through the treasure trove of information that was grabbed during the Bin Laden raid is that Osama was thinking that Al Qaeda was in need of a rebranding effort including a name change. So, I thought I would propose some great new names:

Focus on the Jihad

Near Beer Bombers

Infidel Intifada

Westboro Baptist Caliphate

Al Qeada II: Electric Boogaloo

Beards and Bombs

And today we found out that Lindsay Lohan has once again showed off her superior intellect and knowledge of the law and has again avoided jail time. Good job Lindsay. But, I really wish you would get back to me on my screenplay idea. A movie about lesbians in prison and the various cliques. When Lindsay's character, Mona Lott, is accepted into the most exclusive clique, another girl, Joy Kill, played by Kate Upton plots her revenge by first seducing Mona and then all the other girls in the clique AND the prison warden played by Tyra Banks.

The movie is titled: Mean Womyn

Lindsay Kate and Tyra (for educational purposes of course):

I have no idea why Lindsay hasn't gotten back to me on that one.


Oh and one other thing. R.I.P. to Peter Falk. He starred as Columbo back in the day when they really knew how to make a good cop show...

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws