Carrie Welch...The Little Green Pickle That Could

Cheers food lovers!!

Guess what is happening this Sunday July 8th live at Noon ET on the I’m With Stupid Radio Show?

Jayman and I will be chatting with the lovely, talented, and Yum-O Carrie Welch for the entire IWS Radio show which airs beginning at High Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Oh sure, you may not know Carrie Welch off hand, or directly, but let me tell ya…

Carrie worked for the Food Network for ten years, and ultimately became VP of Public Relations (and other duties as assigned), and wound up putting together shows based around renown chefs such as…

Rachel Ray, Bobby Flay, Alton Brown, Paula Deen, Ina Garten, and of course the Ace of Cakes hizzelf, Duff Goldman.

If you love food, the Food Network, and culinary celebs, you’ll love this show.

In 2010, Carrie made like a walking taco and on a paper plate smelling of an illiterate American’s interpretation of what Mexican food should be and taste like, adios-ed the Food Network, and along with some pretty sexy help (judging by the profile pictures of the team on her website), began her own company, Little Green Pickle.

At the Portland-based Little Green Pickle, Carrie continues to help chefs, restaurants, and community organizations be all that they can be through her experience in television, public relations, and social media.

Carrie also has a large and loving hand in working with Feast Portland, a festival that takes place September 20-23, which benefits the organizations, Partners for a Hunger Free Oregon, and Share Our Strength.

Carrie Welch has accomplished a lot and will certainly accomplish much more as she is only at the tender age of…?

Well we don’t know…and it doesn’t matter, because we know judging by her picture she is a helluva lot younger than either Jayman or I, and sadly, has accomplished much more than both of us combined in her young life.

In fact, maybe Jayman and I, after doing our show with Carrie Welch will do a show about our faults, misgivings, and failures.  It would be a perfect lead in.  Good God, I am always thinking.  But I digress…

Anyway, Ms. Welch has done and continues to do many wonderful things in her life involving the food and culinary industry, and on top of that?

Simply through a few emails with her, and a comment on the IWS website from her, we know that she is full of BAM, Awesome Sauce, and Yum-O.  So…

This Sunday, tell everyone whom you know to be a fooodie or just enjoy happy people, that Carrie Welch will be on IWS live at Noon ET on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio.

Always happy hosts, and what appears to be an uber-happy and knowledgeable guest, is a recipe for a great show.

In the meantime…

Jayman and I had one helluva Independence Day Celebration on IWS Radio yesterday…Smack me on the ass and call me Paul Revere’s horse.  We rocked Independence Hall yesterday.  And if you missed it, you can catch it all in archives right here:

Cheers!!
Matt-Man 
neshobadude@yahoo.com 
@mattmaniws

Life Has Ups and Downs

Hola! How y’all doin’? Good. Man, there isn’t much going on these days. Oh sure, there’s lots happening in the world, but sometimes I just don’t give a shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, I figured you did. So, once again I’ll just meander a bit.

Last week I was at the store buying a few necessities. I got a green pepper, an onion, a can of crushed tomatoes, a can of red kidney beans and some kielbasa. After scanning each of the items, the lady running the register looked at me and said “Red Beans and Rice?” I told her “Oh yeah!” and she replied that she “luuuuuuuuuuuuvs” red beans and rice.

Of course, I immediately proposed to her. Any chick that loves red beans and rice is alright with me. But, she says she isn’t into commitment and has no desire to marry anyone. I can totally respect that and appreciate her honesty. You don’t find that too often these days. Not in this economy.* Anyway, I guess I’m back to my current plan of dying alone.

Earlier today, while I was minding my own business trying to do some guerrilla marketing to push I’m With Stupid podcast I heard a golf ball bang off my neighbor’s door and then mine and then theirs again. This type of thing happens a few times a year. It’s the risks of living on a golf course here at the palatial estates.

So, I took a look out the window and saw a guy on the third tee box hitting and he had the absolute worst swing I’ve ever seen. So, while he was getting another ball out of his bag (he shanked the shot into the water) I ran and got my camera. I turned it on and was just about to video tape his hilarious swing and my camera shut off and said “change batteries.”

Man, story of my life. I go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows.

Oh look! There’s that ridiculous Buick commercial starring Shaquille O’Neal? I hate that commercial. Do they really think we’re gonna believe he drives a Buick. Actually, they probably do. And, now that I think about it there probably are a bunch of people who do believe it. What a bunch of stupid idiots.

Aren’t all idiots stupid? I guess they are. I could look it up, but I’m just going to assume that an idiot is also stupid, which probably means I’m a stupid idiot too since I said it. This is actually one of my biggest fears. I make fun of people for being so stupid so much mostly because I’m afraid I’m one of ‘em. Kind of like how most men who think calling another guy “gay” is the ultimate insult are probably closet cases. Or something like that.

Damn, I’m almost at 500 words and I just now started getting deep and shit. Oh well, I’ll have to worry about that stuff some other time. Gotta keep blog posts short. I know how busy you guys all are.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

*I know that didn’t really make any sense, but I’m trying to use “not in this economy” to explain people’s actions as often as I can.

Everything I Touch, I Destroy

Hola internet friends and bitches! So, on Friday Matt-Man talked a bit about that dark cloud that hangs over his life. I’m sure we can all relate as we all have strange and unsettling things that happen to us too. Maybe not as frequently, but at least on some level we have similar experiences.

Well, I’m here to tell you today that not only do I have a similar dark cloud hanging over my life, but it’s way worse! Seriously! See, instead of just having bad luck, I’m also very destructive. Hell, let’s just review what I’ve done in the last week alone.

I melted a colander. No really. I was making something in a toaster oven and didn’t realize I had set a handheld vegetable strainer on top of it. When I did notice the colander there, it was sitting at a weird angle. Turns out plastic melts on hot surfaces and leaves a sticky, gooey substance. Hell, anyone can burn something IN a toaster oven, but only I can burn something ON one.

The next day, I had a pot with some mixed vegetables warming up on the stove to go with dinner. I was washing something in the sink and when I turned around, the pot was almost fully engulfed in flames. Luckily I put that fire out without running any useful kitchen utensils.

Also, don’t worry that I was in danger of burning down the apartment building. My smoke detector was right there handy in a drawer in my bedroom. I put it in there because, well, I broke it taking it down one day.

Finally, my mother got one of these little chopper things. You know, you put whatever you want to chop up in the little container and push the plunger on top several times to push down blades to chop it up? Well, I was checking it out and pushed the plunger down a few times. On like the third push, the little guard around the blades fell off.

All that in only one week! Can you imagine the amount of damage I’ve done over the years? This is why I drink. If I stop drinking, I’ll sober up and have to come to grips with the reality of the long line of destruction I’ve left in my wake. I’m just not emotionally equipped to deal with such things.

Over the years have casually and without intent broken so many things. From machinery at various jobs, to household items, to electronics to vehicles, I’ve done damage to them all. Not to mention the number of people I’ve hurt with my insensitivity and lack of social skills. Only George W. Bush’s destruction of the economy can compare to the amount of shit I’ve fucked up. Hell, every time I upload a blog, I’m afraid I’ll break Blogger.

Can you imagine what might happen if I visit Matt and Schmoop up there in Bagwine? The convergence of his black cloud and my uber-destructive lifestyle might be more than anyone can imagine.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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In other news, we managed to do a Super Bowl Preview on I’m With Stupid on Saturday while only spending one minute on the game itself. We had the awesome Indy Andy Jones call in from Indianapolis and give us a Live, Local and Late-Breaking report from the scene. Then we talked food, prop bets, movies and other stuff before finally making a quick prediction as to who will win.

So, even though the game is over, you can still listen because our show was really more about the Super Bowl “experience” than the game itself. Cause neither of us cared much about the game. Anyway, thanks for listening and as always we really do appreciate your support and love each and every one of you guys!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XIII

Matt-Man cainteanna, Jayman cainteanna, You éisteacht.

Matt: *sings* “Iiiiiiiiii’m … so in love with yooooo …”
Jay: “That’s so sweet.”
Matt: “Oh! It’s you. Sorry.”
Jay: “Too late! You already said it so you can’t take it back.”
Matt: “I didn’t know those were the rules.”
Jay: “We live by the rules of the street.”
Matt: “True dat homey.”
Jay: “And by ‘street’ I mean ‘the playground.’”

Jay: “The National Potato Council should be pleased with your post.”
Matt: “I went all out for them.”
Jay: “I’m a little concerned that @ThisSpudsForYou hasn’t acknowledged us though.”
Matt: “I was just thinking the same thing.”
Jay: “When we sellout for someone, we expect some publicity, I mean thanks.”
Matt: “And when they don’t, we’re forced to rail against something we love.”
Jay: “I was having tater tots for lunch, but now I’m thinking differently.”
Matt: “I’m going to have a hamburger with a side salad now.”
Jay: “I’ll have a healthy green, leafy salad too. Just like kids in school should!”
Matt: “That’s right, I’m having hamburger with a side of disrespect.”
Jay: “And a tall cold glass of heartache.”
Matt: “And it goes down as slow as it is hurtful.”

Jay: “Well, it IS still early so maybe they’ll still notice us.”
Matt: “They better or I’ll have to mash them.”
Jay: “I’ll have them scattered, smothered and covered with righteous indignation!”
Matt: “I’ll name them ‘Julienne’ and make them my bitch.”
Jay: “We’ll scallop ‘em!”
Matt: “We’ll look in their brown eyes and then bake ‘em!”
Jay: “We tried to STEM the tide against them though.”
Matt: “I’m beginning to think they’re the ROOTof all evil.”
Jay: “We did our best to butter ‘em up.”
Matt: “I guess all our hopes and dreams were half-baked.”
Jay: “I’m pretty steamed.”
Matt: “I feel like I’ve been pancaked.”

Jay: “So, we’re Man Bashing this week?”
Matt: “Damn right we are.”
Jay: “Men are pigs.”
Matt: “They disgust me.”
Jay: “Arrogant, hateful bastards.”
Matt: “Every last one of ‘em.”
Jay: “Nobody has every deserved this show topic more than men.”
Matt: “And nobody has ever gone after them like we will.”
Jay: “Every day men do things that just infuriate me.”
Matt: “I observe them from the Beer Mine and it makes me weep for humanity.”
Jay: “I bet it does.”
Matt: “It drives me to drink.”
Jay: “That’s so sad.”
Matt: “Very much so.”

So there you go again folks. The genius flows like Niagara Falls. So, be sure to tune into I’m With Stupid this Saturday at 11 pm ET as we bash men in the “Men are Pigs” episode. We’re holding nothing back this time kids! We’ll lay out the case against men and even have an update from our Joshua, our new Gay Correspondent. It’s gonna be a hoot! Join us and even call in to add to the man bashing.

Matt Said, Jay Said XIV

Matt talks a lot. Jay talks a lot. You guys can’t get enough.

Matt: “WONG NUMBA! YOU GOT WONG NUMBA!”
Jay: “May I speak to the man of the house.”
Matt: “YOU WAIT ONE MINUTE I GET CWAZY GUY!”
Matt: “Matt-Man here, how may I be of service?”
Jay: “I got your service right here buddy.”
Matt: “You Sick Fuck.”
Jay: “Hey, I’m not the one with the Korean Houseboy.”
Matt: “I found him on Craigslist!”

Jay: “I’m loving those PolitiChicks.”
Matt: “They are quite entertaining.”
Jay: “And they’ve inspired me.”
Matt: “I’m afraid to ask.”
Jay: “You, Me, 2 other dudes doing a political webtv show.”
Matt: “Yeah?”
Jay: “POLITIDICKS!”
Matt: “Oh dear God.”
Jay: “It’s brilliant, isn’t it?”
Matt: “Yes, and we’ll RISE to great levels.”
Jay: “And SPEW out beliefs all over the internet’s face.”
Matt: “And … EWWW! .. And, we’ll hit the issues HARD!”
Jay: “And never go SOFT on anyone. Not even Victoria Jackson.”

Matt: "Let's not get carried away."

Jay: "You'd amend her constitution and you know it."
Matt: “Jesus. That’s sick. I don’t want to play anymore.”

Jay: “So, Thanksgiving Preview on Saturday’s show?”
Matt: “Well that would make sense.”
Jay: “We could talk about what we’re making and give some ideas.”
Matt: “We are dining and entertaining experts.”
Jay: “Martha Stewart, Ina Garten, Giada de Laurentiis, Sandra Lee? They got nothing on us.”
Matt: “What are you talking about?”
Jay: “We're the male version of those hotties.”
Matt: “Anyway, we’ll talk turkey.”
Jay: “And stuffing.”
Matt: “Mashed potatoes.”
Jay: “Asparagus and Pea Casserole.”
Matt: “I do a green bean casserole. Never tried the A&P.”
Jay: “It’s delicious, but so is the green bean. How ‘bout yams?”
Matt: “I like yams…”
Jay: “Gross.”
Matt: “But Schmoop doesn’t.”
Jay: “Schmoop has great taste.”
Matt: “Most of the time.”
Jay: “So, Thanksgiving Preview it is!”
Matt: “It will be HUGE!”

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In other news, on Wednesday Matt-Man and I rambled and meandered around the big issues of the day like a lazy river winding its way to the ocean. We talked about the NFL, I ranted about Sabermetrics, we talked Herman Cain and well, just all kinds of other stuff. So check it out and be entertained the way you like it.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

The Great Preheating Experiment

Hola Bitches! Jayman Here!

So, over the last year you guys have all sat back and watched in awe as Matt-Man and I have built an online media empire. We started with the critically acclaimed and highly rated podcast “I’m With Stupid.” We also added our Twitter Accounts to the IWS media world and then set up an official IWS Tumblr. And, finally we created this wildly popular blog.

With all the success we’ve had, it would appear to the outside world and our adoring fans that Matt-Man and I work together like a well-oiled machine. Most people probably think that it’s all fun and games between us and our agreeable nature means that there are no rifts or tension between us as we go through our daily decisions as to who posts when and what topics to discuss and all the other very hard work that goes into creating a media empire with a vast and diverse worldwide audience.

And for the most part that’s true. I’d say that 98.34% of the time, Matt-Man and I agree on things. But, there are a couple of issues that we just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye on and while they seem minor, from time to time they bubble up to the surface and cause a bit of a problem. One such issue has finally come to head and I have decided to do something to end this once and for all.

Tonight, I agreed to actually preheat my oven before cooking my frozen DiGiorno’s Pepperoni Pizza and Breadsticks combination.

You see, Matt-Man holds fast and true to the very old-fashioned belief from days of yore that you MUST preheat your oven before cooking something. While I agree that when baking things like cakes, cookies and breads preheating is necessary, for most foods like chicken, roasts, pizza and potatoes it is not only not necessary, but a waste of time. However, I agreed to try it out tonight and then report back to the masses as to how well it worked out for me.

6:00 pm: Okay, instructions say oven at 400̊ F and bake for 18 minutes. So, I’ll turn the oven on and wait for the little light to go out and let me know the oven is preheated.  

6:02 pm: *Checks Oven* *Light is still on* I’M SOOOOO BORED AND TIRED OF WAITING!

6:03 pm: *Light is still on* OH COME ON!! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

6:04 pm: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IT WOULD BE HALF DONE ALREADY! *goes back to watching football*

6:30 pm: “Oh shit! The oven is on!” *runs into the kitchen*

6:32 pm: *FINALLY puts pizza in oven*

6:50 pm: *takes perfectly cooked pizza and breadsticks from oven*

Okay, so the pizza was freaking delicious. And, preheating the oven does seem to have helped make sure it cooked evenly and all that jazz. But, it added a full 30 minutes extra time to preparing dinner. So, while preheating the oven might result in a slightly better cooked product, it ads so much time to the process that it’s probably not worth it.

Sorry Matt-Man, I have to declare victory on this one.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws

Big Doing in a Small Town

It’s been a HUGE week here in the Redneckville, Arkansas Metroplex kids. We have a whole new grocery shopping experience in town. That’s right, an Aldi’s has opened up.  And, let me tell ya, that place is full of bargain processed food goodness. 

And the crowds came out in droves. They travelled far and wide as the news spread throughout the region through newspapers, the magic box that music and news comes out of and word-of-mouth.  People came into town from as far away as Nail and Swain to see what new fangled items of value the fancy building might hold. 

And OH what deals they have. Frozen pizzas for .99 cents? A box of Crunch Raisin Bran Cereal for only $1.99? A box of novelty ice cream treats for only $2.49? And Vienna Sausages for only a measly .39 cents a can? MY GOD MAN! These prices can’t be real! Why, they’re below Walmart prices. I must be dreaming. 

And apparently I wasn’t the only one. People were piling their carts high with reasonably priced food of questionable origin like they were getting ready for Y2K all over again.  So, I decided to strike a conversation with a few of ‘em. You know, just small talk like “big crowds, huh?” Or “Wow, they have some great prices!”

“My only regret is that we didn’t bring my old ’72 Ford Country Squire Wagon!” said one man. “We can only put so much into my wife’s TIE-YOTA.  But, we’re stocking up on some of the non-perishables. Not sure how long they’ll have these prices. I’m bettin’ ya these are just the ‘suck ‘em in’ prices.” 

Another person, a sweet young lady with blond hair and dazzling blue eyes who looked to be about 21 was stocking up on goodies. “My seven year old really shouldn’t be eating this stuff. But, I can sneak it into the house and hide it and bring it out little by little.  Everyone was saying this place was going to change my life, and I think they’re RIGHT!”

I’m tellin ya guys, it was a pretty festive atmosphere. Despite the crowds and downright freaking craziness in the parking lot, people were in a good mood and pleasant. The local radio station was doing a live remote and giving away tickets to see Larry the Cable Guy up in Branson.  There were children laughing lovers dreaming. And there were street performers and even a man in an Uncle Sam costume walking around on stilts. And of course clowns making balloon animals for the kids.

As for me, I thought it was alright. I can definitely save some money there. Pretty much everything I get at Walmart I can get at Aldi for the same price or less. And the crowds are certainly no worse than Walmart. So, the prospects of not having to go to Walmart every week make me very happy. 

But, they don’t sell beer and wine. What’s up with that?

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws