Thursday, June 30, 2011

Tea Party To The Rescue...


Well folks, the slow, steady creep of socialism, fascism and all kinds of other bad isms has finally made it's way to Redneckville, Arkansas. Luckily for us though, we have a very strong local chapter of the Tea Party to protect us. Even if it kills us.

Our county commission struggled for months to come up with a new insurance plan for the areas of the county that are in a flood plain. Well, each time they met, the Tea Party folks were out in force to make sure no Socialism happened. The end results of course, is that they never passed a new plan.

So now, thanks to the Tea Party, there are lots of folks living in the flood plain who can't afford or even get flood insurance. Yes, they are required to carry flood insurance, but the Tea Party believes that these people are better off without any insurance at all than being in some filthy govt plan. No, none of the Tea Party people who forced this on everyone live in said flood plain. Why do you ask?

Anyway, after the flood insurance debacle the leader of the local Tea Party, who I'll just call Mr. Napoleon because he pretty much declared himself Tea Party Emperor, sent out a warning to both the county and city governments that “We'll be watching you.”

I immediately offered to help him out with that. What with my expert stalking skills and all, but he insists that he didn't mean it “that way.” Obviously a guy with his kind of political talent would be perfect for Michele Bachmann's campaign.

Well, our European loving socialist-like mayor is at it again. This is the man who brought the devil's juice to Boone County Arkansas in the last election. That being the approval by voters of the manufacture and sale of alcoholic beverages. So, as you can imagine, Mayor Mussolini isn't exactly the Tea Party's favorite guy.

Anyway, our mayor isn't happy with the state of our garbage collection in town. He's unhappy because the company contracted to do it is inefficient and charges residents too much. So, he is proposing that the city take over trash collection instead of contracting it out. *insert ominous Imperial March music here*

Not only does this crazy dude want to provide a service to the residents of Redneckville more efficiently and cheaper, he has a really radical idea of how to do it. He wants to use …. get this …. federal grants to pay for the equipment and get the whole thing started!! GASP!

But wait! It gets worse! He says that the city's trash collection system will include .. wait for it …. RECYCLING!!!! Just like them Nazi's did!

Well, needless to say the local Tea Party is having none of this. It's bad enough that he's making govt work for the people, but he's using federal money to do it. AND we all know that ALL federal money comes from the stimulus.

Folks, this is a town full of decent people. We do all our stimulating indoors, at night and with the blinds closed like good, decent, God-fearin' Americans!! What will the children think if we go along with this crazy-ass plan?

Hell, the next thing you know, Mayor Mussolini will propose that we allow beer sales at public events like Crawdad Days. Or even allow for the sale of liquor by the drink in town. DURING THE DAY! And, he might even propose allowing beer and wine sales on Sunday AKA: God's Day.

Oh wait. He already has proposed those things. God help us. I better get out of town before we all get turned to into pillars of salt. What does everyone think that flooding this spring was? It was obviously a warning from God that he isn't happy with our quaint, pure and innocent little town being turned into Sin City by this atheist mayor.

Only the Tea Party can save us now.
Jayman

Cewek Cakep Naik Kereta Api Hanya Pakai Celana Dalam !


Aneh-aneh saja kelakuan para cewek jaman sekarang. Di Taiwan dan AS ada perayaan 'No Pants Day' alias 'hari tidak memakai celana panjang'. Namun, yang terjadi pada perayaan hari tersebut justru mereka benar-benar menanggalkan celana panjang dan hanya memakai celana dalam saja.

Seperti dilansir AsiaOne (21/2), sejumlah cewek cantik di Taipeh, Taiwan, memutuskan hanya mengenakan celana dalam saja saat hari 'No Pants Day'. Aksi para cewek Taipeh ini meniru aksi serupa yang dilakukan sejumlah cewek di New York lalu di Chicago, Amerika Serikat (AS). Sejumlah cewek di Taiwan memutuskan tidak memakai celana panjang dan hanya mengenakan celana dalam di dalam kereta subway.

Pamer celana dalam dalam perayaan tahunan No Pants Day di dalam kereta subway, pertama kali dilakukan di Kota New York. Penggagasnya Improv Everywhere, yakni sebuah grup komedi yang selalu melakukan lelucon di tempat umum untuk merayakan tindakan bodoh.

Perayaan tahunan yang dilakukan di negara-negara Barat tersebut, selain diikuti Taiwan, juga dirayakan di Tokyo, Jepang. Kalau di Indonesia, pasti para cewek ini langsung digiring Satpol PP.

The Founding Fathers and Michele Bachmann...A Match Made in Peyote

As the national party known as the 235th Annual 4th of July Let’s Get Drunk and Light off Fireworks Bash draws nigh, I thought I’d lick an eye of newt, smoke a bowl of peyote, get out my Ouija board, and channel the spirits of some of our founding fathers and the like.

I was hoping for some deep, philosophical communications with them in regards to the state of our nation, however…
All they wanted to do was talk about Michele Bachmann. It was odd, but I wrote down some of their quippier and pithier undead comments as they spoke…

Thomas Jefferson: She’s pretty damn hot…for a white girl.

George Washington: I cannot tell a lie…I’d bust her cherry tree in an instant.

Patrick Henry: If I could remove the head of that Sean Hannity motherfucker from her arse for just one second, I would angrily, yet happily, oscillate her anal orifice with vigor and profundity.

Samuel Adams: She’d look great on a beer bottle.

Benjamin Franklin: She has a lovely face, however; she lacks a sufficient amount of cream in her bodkins that I find so appealing in a women, and that which churns, shall we say, “my sexual butter.”

You can’t argue with the Founding Fathers, so step off Tom Petty.

Michele Bachmann obviously is, an American Girl.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com
Matt-Man on Twitter 

Perhitungan Bunga Kartu Kredit Yang Menjerumuskan Nasabah !

Cuma mau share pengetahuan saya dalam menelusuri sistem perhitungan kartu kredit (Credit Card) yang salah kaprah, dan sepertinya juga kurang diperjelaskan oleh pihak marketing perbankan pengelola kartu kredit terhadap calon/ nasabahnya. Sehingga kita sering kebingungan atas dasar perhitungan2 tagihan kita. Moga2 informasi ini dapat membantu.

Adapun ini berdasarkan penjelasan dari Customer Service dari beberapa kartu kredit yang saya pakai dimana ada yg dikeluarkan oleh Bank Lokal dan ada yang dikeluarkan oleh Bank Internasional. Adapun ini hanya sekedar masukan, dan supaya info ini tidak bias, sampai saat ini saya Alhamdulillah tidak mempunyai masalah tagihan kartu kredit.

Marketing kartu kredit biasanya hanya memberitahukan kita sebatas:
1. Tagihan tidak akan berbunga apabila kita bayar penuh sebelum jatuh tempo tagihan.
2. Bunga hanya akan dikenakan apabila ada sisa tagihan yang belum terbayarkan dan dihitung berdasarkan sisa tagihan x rasio harian bunga per bulan sampai dengan tanggal cetak bulan berjalan dan sampai dengan pelunasan dari sisa tagihan tersebut.

Jadi pengertian saya sebelumnya, kalau kita bayar lunas total tagihan sebelum jatuh tempo, maka tidak akan ada beban bunga apapun dan apabila kita bayar sebagian, maka beban bunga hanya diperhitngkan berdasarkan sisa tagihan x total rasio bunga harian sejak tanggal jatuh tempo tagihan sampai dengan tanggal cetak tagihan baru atau pelunasan.

Ilustrasi 1 (Jelas): Sebelum 15 hari sebelum tgl cetak tagihan pertama ada pembelanjaan sebesar Rp10jt. Bila saya lunasi Rp.10jt sebelum jatuh tempo tagihan, maka tidak akan ada beban bunga dan tidak akan ada tagihan di bulan berikutnya (dgn asumsi tidak ada pembelanjaan lainnya di bulan berjalan).

Ilustrasi 2 (salah Kaprah): Berdasarkan pemakaian diatas, kalau saya bayar Rp.9.5jt sebelum jatuh tempo tagihan pertama, maka tagihan bulan berikutnya adalah sisa tagihan Rp500rb + total rasio bunga harian (3.6%/30 hari = 0.12% x jumlah hari tertunggak sejak jatuh tempo tagihan x Rp.500rb sisa tagihan) dari tanggal jatuh tempo tagihan sebelumnya sampai tanggal cetak tagihan baru atau kira2 0.12%/hari x 15 hari x Rp500rb. Atau Rp500rb + Rp9rb = Rp509rb (diluar materai dan biaya pembayaran tagihan lama).

TERNYATA SALAH BESAR.

"Ilustrasi 1" pasti bener lah, tapi "ilustrasi 2" ternyata salah besar. dimana kesalahan nya adalah:

1. Apabila ada sisa tagihan yang belum dibayarkan, maka bunga rasio bunga harian dihitung sejak TANGGAL suatu TRANSAKSI, dan bukan sejak tanggal jatuh tempo tagihan.
2. Basis pokok perhitungan bunga bukan berdasarkan sisa tagihan, melainkan besarnya total suatu transaksi yg belum lunas.

Ilustrasi 3 (Perhitungan Kartu Kredit yg Berlaku sebenar2nya): Berdasarkan pemakaian diatas (Rp10jt), kalau saya bayar Rp.9.5jt sebelum jatuh tempo tagihan pertama, maka tagihan bulan berikutnya adalah sisa tagihan Rp500rb + total rasio bunga harian SEJAK TRANSAKSI (3.6%/30 hari = 0.12% x jumlah hari tertunggak SEJAK TRANSAKSI x Rp.10jt BUKAN Rp500rb sisa tagihan) SEJAK TANGGAL SUATU TRANSAKSI sebelumnya sampai tanggal cetak tagihan baru atau kira2 0.12%/hari x 30 hari x Rp10JT. Atau Rp500rb + Rp360rb = Rp860rb (diluar materai dan biaya pembayaran tagihan lama).

Ternyata jauh dari asumsi saya sebelumnya bukan!!!. Saya penasaran akan hal ini karena mempertanyakan koq kenapa bunga bisa 70% dari sisa tagihan saya, sedangkan sisa tagihan saya hanya beberapa ratus ribu. Katanya bunga Kartu Kredit 3.6%/ bulan koq di tagihan keluarnya bisa lebih dari 70%/bulan sisa hutang??. Hanya karena pembayaran saya hampir lunas, tapi masih kurang untuk menutupi total transaksi besar terakhir yg saya lakukan.

Jadi ternyata percuma berusaha bayar maximal kalau tidak dipastikan menutupi penuh transaksi2 besar, karena ujung2nya bunga tetap dikenakan penuh walau sebagian besar sudah dibayarkan.

Mungkin masih banyak nasabah kartu kredit kita yang tidak mengetahui hal ini dan kebingungan soal perhitungan2 bunga kartu kreditnya apalagi kalau banyak transaksinya. Ada baiknya bila informasi ini dapat disebar luaskan kepada teman dan kerabat biar lebih apik pemakaiannya.

Menurut saya ini sih mis-advertising dan menjerumuskan kalau tidak dijelaskan sejelas2nya oleh pihak marketing kartu kredit. Dan dimana basis saya sebagai accountant merasa perhitungan ini tidak benar/ ilegal, masak kita disuruh bayar bunga hutang keseluruhan, padahal sudah dibayar sebagian besar pokok hutang nya dan tinggal sisa sebagian kecil saja tuh. Mana ada perhitungan seperti itu. Apa Deposito berjangka kita di Bank tetap berbunga penuh selama jangka waktu deposito walau sudah kita ambil setengahnya di tengah jalan???. nggak mungkin kan???

Dapat dari email yahoo group

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Liberty Is In the Eye of the Beholder

It’s almost the Fourth of July, kids.

The day on which we Americans celebrate our greatness as a nation with cookouts, parades, and fireworks.


 
And look how far we have evolved in these past 235 years after rolling back the oppression initially placed upon by British rule...

In 1773, the British felt our wrath after they taxed our tea. Today? Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and others of their obesity inducing ilk feel our wrath as we tax the hell out of sugary drinks.

Years after slavery had been abolished in other western nations including Britain, founding father John Quincy Adams lay down the law and a mere thirty years later, his echoes helped to abolish slavery in this nation.

While European countries were violently and greedily colonizing Africa and Asia, America stood firm in her dedication to individualism and liberty by helping ill-informed and less knowledgeable Native American groups find their footing in our great society.

In the 1900’s we helped to defeat the Kaiser and his Jerrys. We built skyscrapers, railroads, and automobiles. We were not only defining the future…we were shaping it, and making it.

During World War II, while Hitler was busy gassing Jews, we as Americans, treated our Japanese citizens with respectful silence, as we fed them three squares a day in well-apportioned and well-secured housing.

During the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s while the Soviet Union and China were attempting to spread their vile form of godless authority, we were defending freedom by bombing Cambodia, propping up well-meaning dictators in Latin America, the Middle East, and southwest Asia.

Democracy is a hard road to hoe, but it comes with distinct definitions which only we as Americans can understand and navigate.

Today in America our government is no less bold nor courageous than when Patrick Henry thunderously pounded upon an old oak table and demanded his liberty, or when Nathan Hale regretted that he had but one live to give to this country.

No indeed…

America is guided by individuals who continue her greatness by debating such issues as, can rape victims have an abortion…can two guys or two women marry…is it legal to burn Chinese made American flags?

Heady stuff my friends, and this 4th of July, after I watch the explosions of celebratory colors in the skies, I will rest assured that our greatness and liberties are in good hands…

As I navigate my way home through the DUI Checkpoints that the government has set up.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
MattManTwitter

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Giada vs Ina: A Bitter Rivalry

Giada de Laurentiis or Ina Garten? Who do you prefer? You can't say “both.” You gotta choose. For the longest time I, like you, thought you could answer “both” to that question. But I don't think you can anymore. I think you have to choose. And, I think I'm the only person who recognizes the bitter, vicious and hate-filled rivalry that exists between two of Food Network's brightest stars.

Let's break this down, shall we?

Giada and Ina both...

Live a pretty lavish lifestyle in beautiful homes in exclusive beach side areas.
Are highly skilled chefs who are quite creative in the kitchen.
Have created extremely successful brands out of their Food Network shows.
Live seemingly idyllic lives with family and friends all around.
Love to entertain.
Regularly use very fancy ingredients in elaborate meals.
Are great at teaching people how to cook.

But, if you look a little closer, I think you see that they are actually trying to top each other.

Ina's husband Jeffery is a professor at Yale.
Giada's husband Todd started his own business.

Ina drives around The Hamptons in her BMW.
Giada drives around the posh areas of Santa Barbara and Malibu in her convertible Audi.

Ina always has her famous snooty white friends coming over for a cookout or to play cards.
Giada has her fabulous and beautiful snooty white friends over for cookouts or to do yoga by the pool.

Ina hosts big parties for New York's high society types.
Giada hosts big parties for Hollywood celebrities.

Ina has lots of gay and lesbian friends.
Giada's husband Todd owns and designs a clothing line.

Ina hosts a cookout at the beach.
Giada hosts a cookout at the beach, BUT her friends are younger and better looking so they play beach volleyball first.

Ina and Jeffery go to Paris.
Giada and Todd go to Rome.


But, where Giada is obviously really trying to show Ina up is in the episodes where they go the beach. When Ina Garten goes to the beach, she dresses like this...























When Giada de Laurentiis goes to the beach, she dresses like this...


































Don't think any of this is a coincidence either. It's pretty obvious that Giada and Ina hate each others guts and are trying to top each other at every turn. You know, it wasn't too long after Giada was shown paddle boarding in her tight top and bikini bottoms that Ina made the comment on her show that Italian cooking “isn't really cooking.” I don't know WHY I'm the only one who can see this.


Inky and Lola

The 235th Anniversary of this great nation is fast approaching; however...

Inky had a bit of a premature and infectious "declaration of independence."


--Matt-Man

Monday, June 27, 2011

If We Allow Gay Marriage...


Then gays will get married! 

I've long had sympathy towards the Pro Life crowd because I felt they were on the side of what was truly right and moral. It hasn't helped them to push a “pro-life” line while murdering people, or the fact that at the very moment that a human being is born most pro-lifers say “you're on your own kid.”
But I still understand and respect their position when it comes to the defense of the unborn and the defenseless.

But, what I can't for life of me figure out, is their over the top anger and opposition to gay marriage. Seriously, WTF people? I mean, opposition to abortion is based on the taking a human life. So, you don't have to be a Christian conservative or even a religious person at all to agree with that. Opposition to gays though, is based solely on bigotry and strict religious doctrine. And that is no basis for denying them the legal right to marry.

I mean, if we're gonna have the federal government base all laws on just anybody's strict moral beliefs, then let's go ahead and put Rush Limbaugh in jail for violating ALL of the Seven Deadly Sins. REPEATEDLY! It's the same thing, right? Sure it is. God is no more serious about that whole “don't be gay” thing as is about the whole “don't be a fat, gluttonous adulterer and those four other things” thing. If we're gonna lay down the law on one, let's do it for all. And, anyone nodding his or her head right now and saying “Fine with me!” has never read the Bible because I'm telling ya, if we did that we would all be tossed into those reeducation camps that Michele Bachmann talks about.

I mean, we're all hypocrites right? Even on the issue of gays. Most all of agree that men together is icky while two women together is a beautiful thing and want to watch.


The argument that marriage has its roots in religion is also a loser. So what? No matter where its roots are, marriage is regulated by the government and is, in fact, a secular act. Basically you pay for a marriage license and then you find someone who is licensed by the state to perform some sort of ceremony and then sign the dotted line saying that you are officially fucked hitched. The whole “get married in a church with all kinds of religious shit” is just an voluntary add on. God is not required to be there unless you invite him.

And don't bother me with the bullshit argument that the government will FORCE the church to marry gays. Come on! Are you even listening to yourself? You say the govt shouldn't be able to force churches to marry gays, but at the same time you support the govt forcing the church NOT to marry gays. Trying to have it both ways much?

In any event, the govt isn't going to force the church to do or not do anything. That's the biggest fail argument of them all. Well, next to the whole “states right unless I disagree with what a state has voted to do then the federal government should come in a void the state law and dictate my beliefs to everyone” bullshit. Which is basically the position of every single person running for the GOP nomination for president. Except possibly Mitt Romney. He hasn't been asked today so we don't know where his position has “evolved” to.

Anyway, I'm impressed that New York is now as cool as Iowa. And I sincerely hope that this will now make New York a place where gays will want to move to. And I'm very happy for all the tax attorneys, estate planners and divorce lawyers who can just go ahead and start planning on buying that Tuscan Villa for retirement now.

But, more than anything I'm sick and tired of the amount of effort and resources that are expended on issues such as gay marriage that should be obvious and easy. And while everyone is screaming at each other over the little stuff, I wonder what our “leaders” in DC are cooking up to screw us over with next. Hmmm … It's almost like this all by design, isn't it?

Jayman


Michele Bachmann 2012

Today June 27th, 2011...A date that will be seared into the minds of all God Fearing Americans, will be the day remembered as the time when Americans, much like the Jews under Pharaoh, were delivered from the yoke of oppression.

Today, dressed in a silver, form fitting, curve hugging, Buck Rogers type suit, Michele Bachmann announced to the world from her bucolic hometown of Waterloo, IA., that…

Michele Bachmann wants to, and will be, the next President of the United States.

Jayman and I cheered…Tea Baggers steeped with excitement, and…Sarah Palin and Tim Pawlenty both curled up into fetal positions, and cried.

Mitt Romney?

He spent the day fixing his hair, learned how to drive a combine, and wrote a thirty second ad about how much he loves the State of Florida.

Words cannot adequately express my joy about the candidacy of Michele so I offer you some pictures:





IWS had a stellar show (and thanks to those of you who made it) today on Blog Talk Radio on this very subject, and you can catch it all right here…




Here’s to Michele Bachmann…Here’s to America!!
Cheers!!

 --Matt-Man

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Music Extravaganza Redux and Babe of the Week...


Hola Bitches! It was yet another classic “I'm With Stupid” last night. And by “classic” I mean, a “classic” performance by Time Warner Cable. This time, TW decided to crap out right in the middle of the show for about 6 minutes leaving me flying solo.

The idea of the show was to talk music. All our favorite bands, singers, songs, concerts and all that. And maybe some that are overrated and some that just flat out suck. But, just as we were getting into the groove there was nothing but silence on Matt-Man's end.

Sure, one of our listeners could have called in so I didn't have to wing it on my own for 6 minutes, but this was a good character building exercise for me, I guess. I rambled about some concerts I've been to and then did a little back and forth w/ the chat room. Then the Matt-Man called back in and we rolled through to the end of the show like the pros we are. So, check it out!


Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio


And don't forget that we'll be discussing the news of the day, including the big vote to allow gay marriage in New York and lots of other stuff, on Monday at 11 am EDT! So tune in then and even call in to express your views!


Also, IWS Radio is proud to launch our first installment of “Babe of the Week” Something we'll do every Sunday. Probably.

Anyway, I know what you're thinking. You're sitting there saying to yourself “Oh boy! Here it comes. They're gonna pick some popular little teenybopper like maybe Avril Lavigne or even Brittany Spears or some other barely legal size 2 bitch that's super popular. Then they'll put a pic of her on here and name it something like Avril Lavigne Naked just for page views.” Or maybe you're thinking “It'll be someone who's popularity is rising and thus gets a lot of search engine hits like Grace Potter.” (ed note: RAWR!)

Well, once again you underestimate us! It's our secret weapon you know. Oh no people. Since we talked music this week, we're going with one of the greatest rocker chicks of all time. One who also has one of the sexiest voices of all time. One with actual talent! Why? Because we all know that talent is sexy as hell.

The inaugural Babe of the Week is none other than Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders:
































And here's Chrissie doing her version of “Creep” which I'm sure she dedicated to Matt-Man and Jayman:

Time Warner Blooooows !!

If you listened to our I'm With Stupid Radio show on Saturday, you know that ten minutes in or so, my phone and internet went down...again.

This has been a recurring problem over the past few weeks, so I once again contacted Time Warner tech support via their chat system.

In this chat, as my BFF/OSP Schmoop (Beth) is the owner of said TW agreement, I am Elizabeth which makes sense, because...

I'm sure the tech guy named Moses with whom I am seeking assistance is really named Punjab.

Here is the actual transcript from Saturday night:


Moses: Hello! Thank you for choosing Road Runner Internet Technical Chat Support. My name is Moses.

How may I assist you?

Elizabeth_: We have had this modem refreshed at least seven time in three weeks...there is obviously something wrong. And if you don't give us a new one, we are going to be very angry

Moses: Hi,Elizabeth.
Moses: I apologize for inconvenience caused to you.
Moses: May I know what is your exact your issue?
Elizabeth_: You should apologize because every time I am down, I lose money and cannot put food on my family.

Elizabeth_: I keep getting my phone service and internet dropped
Moses: Okay.
Moses: Can you please give me a moment while I pull your account?
Elizabeth_: pull my account all you I'm about done with you guys
Moses: Once again I apologize for inconvenience caused to you.
Moses: Let me try to fix your issue.
Moses: Hopefullt we will do that.
Elizabeth_: Evidently I need a new modem...This thing has been refreshed countless times
Moses: In this case I would have been glad to assist you with this issue. However, I don't have the required tools and resources to assist you with this issue.

You need to contact our concern department, since they are specifically trained to resolve such issues. I will provide you the contacts details.

Moses: Is that fine?
Elizabeth_: yes give me the details, please
Moses: Okay, Please give me a moment.
Moses: 513-489-BEEP (2337), they will sure replace your modem if require.

Elizabeth_: I have to call them? God this is bull....Okay, thanks...And tell TW thanks for making it harder on people who pay them 127 dollars a month for their services. Unbelieveable. What a joke.
Moses: Sure I will convey your message to my higher authority.
Moses: For your information, you can visit this link anytime to get more help and knowledge about the products and services offered by Road Runner: http://help.rr.com and check for online FAQs.

The thing is?  I called that number, raised hell,and Tuesday I am going to pick up our new modem for the Bagwine digs.

Who's Your Daddy, Time Warner!!?

--Matt-Man

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Robot Seks di China Yang Mengenali Pemiliknya !


Sebuah perusahaan di China meluncurkan robot seks terbaru. Kelebihannya, robot cantik ini diklaim dapat berkomunikasi dan mengenali pemiliknya.

Adalah Love Sex yang mencipta robot itu. Dengan postur ideal setinggi 165,1 sentimeter, sang produsen menerapkan kulit sintetis lembut dan otot dari silikon gel yang terangkai dengan kerangka logam berteknologi modern.

Manajer Love Sex, Li Jian, mengatakan, robot seharga £3.000 atau sekitar Rp41,9 juta itu menyasar pria eksekutif bergaji tinggi yang terlampau sibuk untuk memiliki pasangan nyata.

Ketika memutuskan membeli, pelanggan dapat memilih wajah dan sosok robot pujaan. Robot pilihan kemudian akan diprogram untuk mengenali wajah pemiliknya. Sekaligus diprogram menentukan pilihan bahasa untuk bercakap-cakap dengan pemiliknya.

Li Jian mengatakan, robot itu dilengkapi dengan remote control untuk mengendalikan pergerakan dari jarak jauh. Dengan menekan salah satu tombol remote, robot itu juga bisa mengubah posisinya, bahkan menggetarkan salah satu bagian tubuhnya.

Menamcing penasaran atas klaim kecanggihannya, boneka seks ini berhasil menciptakan kerumunan orang saat hadir di sebuah pameran di Sex Culture Exhibition di Xi'an, Provinsi Shaanxi.

Robot seks ini menawarkan alternatif bagi penggemar boneka seks. Sang produsen mengklaim, robot seks lebih terkesan realistis dibandingkan boneka seks yang sudah banyak beredar.

Robot seks pertama mulai dijual bebas di Amerika pada awal tahun 2010 silam. TrueCompanion, sang produsen menklaim produk yang mereka namai 'Roxxxy' sebagai robot seks pertama di dunia. Boneka robot ini dirancang khusus sebagai teman kencan.

Robot dilengkapi dengan program inteligensia buatan untuk mempelajari hal-hal yang disukai maupun yang tidak disukai pemakai.

"Dia akan mampu berbicara, mendengarkan, mengikuti percakapan, dan merasakan sentuhan sekaligus menjadi teman sejati Anda," demikian menurut keterangan TrueCompanion dalam laman mereka. "Dia bisa mengalami orgasme saat Anda menyentuhnya."

Friday, June 24, 2011

Only a Lindsay Lohan Lesbian Movie ...


Could have made this week any better.

Hola Bitches!

Well, it's been a pretty amazing week. Let's see what all happened.

The biggest news of the week was that the “I'm With Stupid” humor blog went live to great fanfare. We'd like to remind anyone who would like to be a regular or irregular contributor to the blog to let us know!

Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman and his perfect hair, MAN those Mormons have great hair, announced he was officially running for the GOP nomination for president. His speech was so boring that even Fox News broke away from it to talk about suddenly exciting by comparison Tim T-Paw Pawlenty.

President Obama addressed the nation Wednesday night to talk about his plan to begin the slow draw down of troops in Afghanistan. He also ignored both his own lawyers and congress and pressed on with US support of bombing of Libya. Obama makes all these war decisions while stroking his Nobel Peace Prize.

The Cleveland Cavaliers made Duke's Kyrie Irving the number one over all selection in this year's NBA draft. You know LeBron James is really hated when people prefer a Duke guy to him.

One of the things we have found by going through the treasure trove of information that was grabbed during the Bin Laden raid is that Osama was thinking that Al Qaeda was in need of a rebranding effort including a name change. So, I thought I would propose some great new names:

Focus on the Jihad

Near Beer Bombers

Infidel Intifada

Westboro Baptist Caliphate

Al Qeada II: Electric Boogaloo

Beards and Bombs


And today we found out that Lindsay Lohan has once again showed off her superior intellect and knowledge of the law and has again avoided jail time. Good job Lindsay. But, I really wish you would get back to me on my screenplay idea. A movie about lesbians in prison and the various cliques. When Lindsay's character, Mona Lott, is accepted into the most exclusive clique, another girl, Joy Kill, played by Kate Upton plots her revenge by first seducing Mona and then all the other girls in the clique AND the prison warden played by Tyra Banks.

The movie is titled: Mean Womyn

Lindsay Kate and Tyra (for educational purposes of course):


















I have no idea why Lindsay hasn't gotten back to me on that one.


Oh and one other thing. R.I.P. to Peter Falk. He starred as Columbo back in the day when they really knew how to make a good cop show...
















Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws

Thursday, June 23, 2011

A Dutch Treat: Guy Ahnyurdyck Here...

Jayyyyy…Matt-Man…Guy Ahnyurdyck here for my baptism by fire on the I’m With Stupid website.

Let me tell you...

This is as exciting as the time I covered Carl Paladino attending a Jewish circumcision when half-drunk on power and half drunk on Manischewitz, claimed that the extraneous foreskin surgically removed from the Baby Hiram Perlman, looked like the Baby Jesus Christ.

For those of you who know not of me, I am the Dutch-based foreign correspondent for IWS…and yeah…I’m all that.

From the fleshpots and hash dens of Amsterdam to the BDSM hell hole holes of Bangkok, I sniff out the news and edit out the smell for IWS and more importantly, for you.

I wanted to let you know that you should lend an ear to Blog Talk Radio on Saturday June 25th at 6:30 PM EDT, as Jayman and Matt-Man broadcast what is sure to be another Marconi Award winning installment of I’m With Stupid.

Those two nattering nabobs of nosing out the negative and exploiting it, will be talking music.

Oh sure they did a music show recently, but it turned out to be a disaster as one, Jon Bok Choyvee called in and ruined the continuity and course of the show.

So…

Saturday, the dynamic duo of publicly destroying dimwitted dogma will be talking about their fave bands…the worst bands…hottest rock babes…worst songs ever…and great concerts.

I as well will be chiming in with a live report from Aruba covering the first ever benefit concert ever for the deaf.

That’s right folks…I will be reporting live from Aruba as bands from Green Day to U2 play live during…

Hearing Aid 2011!!

And remember, all funds raised from this concert go to the Ashlee Simpson School for the Tone Deaf and Actual Deaf.

So join IWS on Blog Talk Radio Saturday at 6:30 PM EDT for a funny, fulfilling, and philanthropic good time.

To access the IWS BTR Radio page, click HERE.

This is Guy Ahnyurdyck for I’m With Stupid, back to you guys in…the Blogosphere!!

NBA Needs Creative Trades ....


Hola Bitches!

It's NBA draft time again kids which means we will be watching one of my favorite situations that happens every single year. We will get to watch NBA commissioner David Stern pretend that he can't pronounce the names of the European players who get drafted. Every year it's the same thing. Stern stands up there as if he's Senator Pat Geary trying to pronounce “VEYTOH C-C-Cor – Cor-LE-ON.” Good times. Good times.

Anyway, every year in the days leading up to the draft there are all kinds of trade rumors that get tossed out there. Some even sound feasible and intriguing. But, most of them are just talk because NBA executives know that one bad trade could saddle their team with a massive contract that will keep them from being competitive for years.

But, as I look at all the proposed trades (PT), I think that they just aren't being creative enough. Instead of just trading players, each team should throw in some additional goodies (AG) to spice these trades up...

PT: Miami sends LeBron James to Orlando for Dwight Howard
AG: Orlando gets two cases of Pat Riley's hair product and Miami gets two of Stan Van Gundy's old polyester leisure suits from the 70's that he still hangs onto hoping they'll come back in style.

PT: San Antonio sends DeJuan Blair to Cleveland for Anderson Varejao
AG: Spurs get the rights to sign LeBron James in 2026 and the Cavs get my old George “Iceman” Gervin t-shirt that I wore three times a week while in fourth grade.

Or

PT: Spurs send Tony Parker to Cleveland for Varejao
AG: Spurs send a variety pack of goodies from Mi Tierra Bakery and a promise that Parker won't try to sleep with any of the player's wives. Cleveland sends a big case of Skyline Chili to the Spurs.

PT: Lakers send Lamar Odom to Golden State for Monta Ellis
AG: Lakers get a free one day pass to the O'Farrell Theater for each player. The Warriors each get a free copy of Kloe Kardashian's unreleased sex tape. (Trust me. These are of equal value.)

PT: Washington sends Javale McGee to Minnesota for it's #2 pick
AG: Washington also sends Hillary Clinton, Barbara Mikulski and John Ensign's mistress to Minnesota for Michele Bachmann and one of Hubert Humphrey's granddaughters to be named later.

PT: Milwaukee sends Andrew Bogut to Sacramento for Tyreke Evans
AG: Milwaukee sends a few cases of Milwaukee's Best Light and gets a case of Two Buck Chuck wine. (Hey give me a break people. These two towns don't have much to offer.)

PT: The Knicks send Chauncey Billups (and others) to Memphis for Rudy Gay
AG: NY/NJ Mafia agree to call off any hit they might have put out on Zach Randolph and Rudy Gay gets to play in a town where fans sitting court side won't constantly ask him “Is Rudy … Gay?”

PT: Utah sends the #3 pick and another player to Philly for Andre Iguodala who they then flip to Sacramento for a later pick so they can take <S>some white guy</S> Jimmer Ferdette.
AG: No Mormons knocking on any doors in Sacramento or Philly for 12 months. And no Mormon get shot on a front porch in Philly for 12 months. And everyone on both the Jazz and Kings get two free tickets to see “The Book of Mormon” on Broadway when in NY courtesy of the 76ers.

Portland, Toronto, Denver and Atlanta all have nothing of interest to offer anyone other than some very average players.

So, that's it folks. Some trades that would be made much better if the team executives would get a little more creative.

Jayman


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

This Day in History with Michele Bachmann

Hi Gang, Michele Bachmann for I’m With Stupid and IWS’s …

This Day in History with Michele Bachmann…

Sports are great. Sports are often an allegory and/or a symptom semblance allegory, wait I used that…reflection on life.

And did you know..?

In 1922 at the British Open, American great, Walter Hagen shot a perfect 300 on what Great Britainers call golf courses and what we call bowling alleys.

On this day in 1961 the Antarctic Treaty was signed and went into effect. That is one treaty that has held up to its intended effects. I don’t see no missiles or terrorists coming from Antarctica!! Do You!?

This day in 2011 marks the first full day after which former politico media darling Sarah Palin (Lard Ass-AK) gave up her idiotic bus tour across the country. Gimme a break, Eski-Ho!!

Let me tell you folks…I not only know history better than most; I can also see the future, and listen up all you Orange Pekoe and Earl Grey drinking Americans…

On Monday, June 27th, I am officially announcing my candidacy for the office of President of the United States.

I’m serious and I am announcing my candidacy in my home state of Iowa. Specifically and allegorically enough, in WATERLOO, Iowa.

After all, Waterloo, Iowa is where Duke Ellington defeated Napoleon Dynamite at the Battle of Crecy setting our dominion on the path toward freedom from the French.

Monday the 27th also marks the day exactly one week and 73 years after Herbie Hancock affixed his signature to the Articles of Confederation and freed all white people from the burden of owning slaves.

So there you have it.

Enjoy your June 23rd, and remember…

The Tea Party kettle is steeping and Ima gonna be serving it up on Monday.

Luvs, Michele

Ginger Lee Doesn't Want Weiner ...


Hola Bitches!!

As you know, now FORMER congressman Anthony Weiner was involved in a truly despicable and outrageous twitter and Facebook sexting scandal recently. Well, one of his many innocent victims was none other than professional dancer, entertainer and concerned citizen Ginger Lee.

Aaaand, I just happened to have gotten my hands on the sexting conversation Weiner had with Ginger.* I decided in the interest of the public's right to know, I would publish it all here in it's entirety:


GL: “Our military action in Libya is a total violation of the War Powers Act. I'm so upset about this. Even in a “supporting role” we're still launching missiles and we're still engaged in military action.

AW: “Stop staring at my weapon!”

GL: “This is serious. I tried to call your office to formally complain about this.”

AW: “How did i miss this chance to rock your world by phone? Give me another chance!
Stalk me baby, very hot.”

GL: “That's sweet, but there's so much work that needs to be done. And the republicans don't give a shit about anything other huge tax cuts for the wealthy. It just pisses me off that they continue to claim that cutting taxes will actually INCREASE revenues and that all we need to do is make huge cuts in spending for programs for poor people and we can balance the budget that easily. Oh and all this bullshit that their plans will result in 5% annual growth for 10 solid fucking years. What bullshit! We've never had that kind of growth and we never will now that most of our manufacturing sector has been moved over seas. Not to mention that THAT kind of growth would require us to sustain unemployment near ZERO percent which we all know would result in runaway inflation! .. Uh .. Sorry I get a little carried away sometimes. Hope it doesn't bother you.”

AW: “It's making me hard.”

GL: “When you take the floor in tonight's debate will you PLEASE fight for women and try to stop the republicans from gutting funding for Planned Parenthood and women's health care?”

AW: “Tonight I'm just a man with a raging hard on”

GL: “I watched the video of your speech defending funding for 9/11 first responders.”

AW: “You watch it naked?”

GL: “No, but it made me think about...”

AW: interrupts “Thinking of my rock hard cock?”

GL: “Noooo silly! Think about how much passion you have for politics and fighting for people who can't fight for themselves.”

AW: “It gives me a huge bulge in my pants. Wanna see?”

GL: “What can I do to make your job better?”

AW: “Practice saying 'Ohhhh GOD, Anthony, I'm coming AGAIN!”

GL: “I'm trying to be serious. These are very serious issues and our country is in real trouble. All you can think about is sex.”

AW: “I'm horny a lot. Sorry”

GL: “Well you need to focus on channeling your energies into your job as congressman!”

AW: “You're right! What are you wearing? Are you getting off? Is your pussy wet?”

GL: “You know what? I'm just gonna call Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand. Maybe she'll care enough to help.”

AW: “OMG .. That's so hot! That'll give me something to spank it to.”


And there you have it folks. Ginger Lee, a very concerned citizen trying to get help for some very important issues from former Congressman Anthony Weiner, but all she got was disgusting, overtly sexual responses. Poor Ginger. Call me sweetie and I'll definitely talk politics with you and do what I can to help you.

Oh and here's a pic of Ginger Lee. But, only because it's possible that some of you guys have never heard of her...
























Jayman


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

History, Mystery, Menstrualty

Hi gang, Michele Bachmann, GOP Presidential hopeful, congresswoman, and renowned historian, here with today’s:

I’m With Stupid’s…

This Day in History with Michele Bachmann…



On June 22nd 1941, Germany, Italy, and Romania declared war on the Soviet Union. When I read that, I was surprised that to some degree, the Nazis were actually on OUR side. Who knew, but it makes sense, because…

Also on this date in 1941, FDR signed the GI Bill of Rights launching our nation on an irreversible path towards socialism. I find it ironic that Germany attacked the Soviet Union on this day when FDR signed that bill. It’s like Hitler was trying to save the United States from Communism.

On this date in 1969, Aretha Franklin was arrested in Detroit for creating a disturbance. She must have really been doing something bad, since most black people in Detroit can go unnoticed while sleeping on the streets and murdering law abiding white people.

On this date in 2002 an earthquake in Iran killed 261 people proving that God’s hand is mightier than their Muslim missiles and in 2009 a D.C. subway crash killed 9 proving that unlike Hitler and Mussolini, Obama cannot make the trains run on time.

Lastly, a couple of Happy Birthdays…

Today, basketball great Pete Maravich is celebrating his 63rd birthday. Let’s hope that “Pistol” loads his chamber and has a banging good B-Day today. Also…

Funny man Freddie Prinze of Chico and the Man fame is fiesta-ing his 57th birthday, so even though his name sounds illegal, let’s wish Freddie an Ole’ Day!!

That’s all for today.

This is Michele Bachmann saying that the past is prologue, and Sarah Palin is yesterday’s news.

--Michele

And people wonder why the Matt-Man has internet and phone problems…


Lastly, a scientific report from IWS’s fave and hottest scientist, Desert Rat…
For your edification... or whatever

A recent [undocumented] study in [a top secret location] showed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

And if she is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.

Cheers…

The Endless Summer of Sarah

Hiya my fellow patriots…Sarah Palin here.

Today June 21st is the longest day of the year because it is the Summer Equinox. What is the Summer Equinox, you ask?

The Summer Equinox is when the Equator moves from it’s usual spot in Ecuador, and sits between Quito and the North Pole. That’s right.

The Equator thingy moves due to divine intervention and on this day every year it’s way up here.

Because of that, it gets warm up in our neck of the woods, and also because of that, the Southern himmysphere is huge and our Northern himmysphere shrinks!!

I don’t think the Eastern and Western himmyspheres change at all, which is good, because those non-abstinence practicing Asians need all the room they can get.

So anyhoo…Enjoy what I call The Endless Summer of Sarah my fellow patriots and mavericks, but remember…

You never know when our Liar-in-Chief is going to be awoked by that 3 AM phone call telling him that the South Koreans are launching their nuclear missiles at us, so don’t let your guard down while enjoying the sun, surf, and turf.

This is Sarah Palin for I’m With Stupid saying…

Drill Baby Drill, Lock and Load, and as always…

Michele Bachmann is a thunder stealing bitch.

--Sarah

Monday, June 20, 2011

Hola Bitches!


It's me, the Jayman!

“Who” you say? “THE Jayman? The one who just about 10 weeks ago quit blogging and said he in all likelihood wouldn't be back this year?”

Uh, yeah. Up until a couple of weeks ago I still had no intention of coming back. And I'm still not real sure how happy I am about it. But, when Matt-Man came up with the idea of doing a team blog as a part of the show's branding, how could I say “No?”

So, here I am. Committed to the show and to growing our brand and turning Matt-Man and myself into the international superstars we know we can be. Complete with the fame, fortune and groupies we deserve. At least in our own minds.

Besides, the idea behind this blog is that it will be a community blog. A place where many different people will be posting. Anyone out there who would like to have their voice heard on the internet, this is the place for you. We're looking for people who are funny, smart, clever and/or sexy as hell. Just like us. And, when we get other people in involved here, I won't be having to post much. I'm already looking forward to that part.

I know that some people will be giving me shit for coming back. There's nothing I can do about it. And it won't have any affect on me either. So, whatever. I think this site is gonna be fun.

Sooo what has the Jayman been up to the last few weeks, you ask? Well, I've been a busy little bee.

I accompanied Miley Cyrus on her South American tour as her “Self-esteem Coach.” Mainly my job was to tell her that she looked and sounded great and that “No, I don't think all these gorgeous, sexy South American women who can shake their booty like nothing I've ever seen are hotter than you Miley!” (She totally believed me.)





















I served a couple of days as a Special Economic Advisor to President Obama. Basically my job was to walk into the Oval Office every 10 minutes and say “You do know that somewhere around 20% of Americans are either out of work or underemployed, right? You might actually think about doing something about it ANY-FUCKING-TIME NOW!” But unfortunately, people got tired of hearing that and they hired a “We Still Have Hope” adviser in my place.

I worked as LeBron James' personal coach teaching him how to close out big games. That one didn't work out so great.

Same goes for my short stint as a “Twitter Crisis Consultant” for Congressman Anthony Weiner. I'm not even putting that one on my resume.

Acted as the Dalai Lama's personal escort when he visited Northwest Arkansas. We hit all the hot spots. Dude is a wild man! Strippers loved him too. That dress he wears is some pretty thin material and the Lama is packing a serious Tulka. And, big tipper!

I spent some time living in a cave in Southeast Asia. Just contemplating life and the universe becoming one with my surroundings and the animals.

Okay, I admit it. I'm the one who killed Osama bin Laden. As Robert DeNiro said in The Deer Hunter “ONE SHOT! ONE SHOT IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!”

And, there were various other, less exciting things. But, now I'm here. Why? Cause Matt-Man talked me into it. I just can't resist those puppy dog eyes.
Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
http://twitter.com/jayman_iws


The Killing is Dead to Me ...



I have never felt so insulted and betrayed by a television show as I was by the season finale of “The Killing” Sunday night on AMC. When the show was over I literally stared at the TV for a couple of minutes, not in awe of the dramatic “plot twist” but in disbelief that a show's writers and producers and a network really would screw their viewers over in this manner. After a bit, I recovered enough to post something deep and eloquent on my Twitter feed expressing my feelings about the finale. My post simply read “AMC and The Killing can lick my balls.”

Bill Safire would have been proud of such grandiloquence.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD … YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

After a whole 13 episode season of asking us “Who killed Rosie Larsen?” AMC did the unthinkable. After a season full of red herrings in which a new suspect was introduced at the very end of an episode, only to be dismissed immediately the next week, cheap plot twists that went nowhere and had no real meaning to the show, slow or nonexistent character development, simplistic dialog, uneven flow and non-stop downpours, AMC and “The Killings” producers failed to do the one thing they promised to do. They didn't tell us who killed Rosie Larsen. Instead they threw up another overly-dramatic (complete with horror movie music) and ridiculous psych! moment at us and told us to tune in NEXT YEAR to find out who killed Rosie Larsen.

I don't think so. In fact, I don't really even care who killed her now. If, by some chance, they actually tell us who killed her next season, I'll find out via a Google search and then just move on with my life.

The Killing's showrunner Veena Sud defended the finale by saying that they never “expressly” said that they would reveal the killer this season and that the show “isn't a traditional procedural.”

Okay, 1) even if they didn't “expressly” say that they would reveal the killer, using the tag line “Who Killed Rosie Larsen” and saying things like “tune in to find out who killed Rosie Larsen” comes pretty damn close to “expressly” saying they would reveal the killer and certainly implied heavily, and wanted the viewers to believe that the killer would be revealed.

And, 2) while this certainly wasn't a traditional procedural crime drama (which was the show's main draw and the reason I was excited to watch it to begin with), they certainly hit all the cliches:

Underage murder victim who had a secret life as an escort? Check
The first main suspect was a black man who was her teacher? Check
He was also a Muslim so there was an FBI raid of the Mosque where he worshiped? Check
The father of the victim beats innocent black Muslim man into a coma? Check
Lead detective stares at photos, videos, pieces of paper and even a blade of fucking grass and suddenly has an epiphany and tells everyone to drop what they're doing and do something else? Check
A young, inexperienced, wise-cracking, corner-cutting partner who just happens to be a recovering drug addict who then turns out to be dirty? Check
Mother of the victim being so distraught that she walks out on her family, leaving her other kids with a father who is on his way to prison? Check
A young, good looking and idealistic politician who wants to change the world but it turns out he was a womanizing pig? Check

Yeah boy! Nothing traditional about this show at all!

But, you know what? None of that is what made me mad. What made me mad is the fact that Veena Sud and the PTB at AMC really think their viewers are stupid. They really think that when Richmond was arrested with eight minutes to go in the show, we didn't all look at the clock and then back at the TV and say “Oh bull-SHIT! You're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do, are you?” And then they went ahead and did it. They honestly believe we all said “Ohhhhhh … He's innocent? And that guy may or may not have assassinated him Jack Ruby Style? OH WOW! You got us with that one! What a brilliant plot twist and cliffhanger!”

Who killed Rosie Larsen? I just don't fucking care anymore. Not after suffering through 13 episodes of nonsensical plot lines, red herrings, lies and a cliffhanger ending that is nothing more than a TV network raising it's middle finger to it's viewers who hung with the show all season long.

Sometime next summer, after season two is over, someone call or email me and let me know who killed Rosie.

Jayman