Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Mega Millions Up To 500 Million !!

You know what tomorrow is?

Okay, okay…yes it’s Friday, and many of you are saying, “Thank God tomorrow is Friday.”

However…

Tomorrow is also, (cue the trumpets, and release the pigeons, or doves, or whatever) it is also, Mega Millions Friiiiiiiiiiiday.

Why do I say that..?

One who rarely plays the Lottery, games of chance (other than with questionable women), or throws good money after bad (except when there is a sale on Wild Irish Rose)?

Because my friends, here in the United States of America, the Mega Millions jackpot is up to, now get this…

Not a mere 500 Million Dollars, no, no…A winning ticket on Friday will be worth, half a BILLION Dollars.

Half a Billion for Godssakes!!

Who in their right mind, or special needs mind for that matter, wouldn’t want to be a, Half A Billionaire?

Okay…there are some utopian seeking, vegan eating, “Ima gonna change the world” Liberal idealists out there who would say:

“Ooooooo, Hot Shot…Half a Billion…You may be rich, but that money can’t buy you love and happiness.”

Ha…You know what this meat eating Liberal would say to people of that ilk if I won all that cash?

“Yes it can; now watch as I show you how it can buy happiness as you eat granola, drink rain water, and gorge on some asparagus, while I have a steak, a bottle of champagne, and throw my self -respect into the street along with my empty bottle of Dom Perignon, loser.”

Damn right…If I win the Mega Millions Friday, I may become the biggest asshole in the world.  Not in a bad way mind you.  I wouldn’t act all uppity n’shit, but to some, I would be considered an “instant rich asshole“, however…

I would be amplifying what I already do, and how I act.

I wouldn’t allow anyone to tell me what I could and could not do within their moral dictates…I wouldn’t be afraid of certain things, and certain people.  I wouldn’t hesitate to speak my mind.

Writing and doing the radio show with Jayman is what I enjoy doing, what I want to do, what I was born to do, and with a half a Billion dollars, I could finance that dream.

Home truly is where the hearts is, but it would be nice to get out of this apartment, which isn’t bad mind you, and get a small place of our own for my BFF/OSP, Schmoop and I…

A place that is big enough to throw some raucous parties but not so big that we and our newly hired, illegal alien property staff are tied to.

Having half a Billion dollars would provide me and several of my close friends opportunities to go kiss the Blarney Stone, revel in the warm embraces of underage Bangkok hookers, and travel to Vatican City in order to tell Blitzkrieg Benny that his Papal hat fits the shape of penis looking head perfectly.

Man, those would be some good times.

So yeah, having all that money would be nice, because in spite of  all the partying and superficial things I would do with it, I’d have millions left over to help many others in a profound and significant way.

I like that…that makes me happy, however as it was pointed out earlier, some folks say money can’t buy happiness.

In spite of saying that I would be happy, and while I initially scoffed at the statement, ultimately, I agree.

Money cannot buy a person happiness, but that much money can buy a person a whole helluva lot of freedom to be themselves.

And Friday, if I, or you, or whoever, wins that money…we will see quickly what they do with it.  And what he or she does with it will give us an insight as to whether they were and are a happy person to begin with or not.

Many people have said, “The eyes are the windows to the soul.”

Ha...fuck that.  Having just won a Half a Billion Dollars is a far more accurate barometer of what lies within one's soul.

Good Luck on the Mega Millions, and…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

No comments:

Post a Comment