Sunday, March 25, 2012

Why Asian Chicks Rule


Hola bishes! So, I have often times been asked what it is I love so much about Asian chicks. Normally, I’m asked this question by bitter, angry middle aged white women whose best days are behind them. Of course, I’m always taken aback by these questions because I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t love Asian chicks.

They’re Substantive: Unlike their white counterparts, Asian chicks are not superficial and shallow. They are women of substance. They educate themselves and prefer to be known for the things they accomplish in the intellectual and artistic fields rather than just being famous only for being famous.

They’re Thoughtful and Considerate: Asian girls aren’t self-absorbed like most white women are. Asian chicks actually think about others more than they do themselves. They genuinely care about your wellbeing and don’t find a way to make everything about them like white chicks do. Asian chicks are actually capable of feeling empathy for other people and aren’t dismissive of others. They’re sweet, caring and never rude and hateful like white chicks.

They’re Exotic: While white women tend to be pretty basic, Asians are often times very exotic. Their beautiful shiny black hair and smoldering dark eyes are just down right sexy. Not to mention their perfect little bums and beautiful legs. They don’t have to pile on makeup and have tons of cosmetic surgeries to look any certain way. Asian women are just so naturally alluring that they don’t have to do anything other than just be themselves to be sexy.

White Women Hate Them: If you want to get white women all riled up, just talk about how hawt Asian Chicks are. Nothing makes a white woman lose it faster than that. They start screaming uncontrollably about how much they hate Asian Chicks and start calling them names and insulting them. It’s really sad to see that kind of jealously and racism from anyone and only serves to prove the overall superiority of Asian girls as they would NEVER speak so horribly about white chicks in the same manner. And let me tell ya kids, I will get LOTS of flack over this post, but I don’t care. The truth hurts sometimes.

They Have a Sense of Humor: Asian chicks are funny. They love to laugh. And, most importantly they think I’m funny. Sure, some white chicks are funny, but usually it’s a “mean funny.” You know, they can only be funny by making fun of others or saying mean things about others. However, Asian chicks are genuinely funny and can make jokes about anything at all and don’t have to resort to belittling others.

Asian Chicks are Loving and Accepting: Again, unlike white chicks, Asian women accept people for who they are. They don’t demand people act or look a certain way. They see the inner goodness and beauty of others. This is something most white women just don’t understand. White women make all kinds of demands on people and try to force people to fit their idea of what they should be. Asian women asses who you are accept that and love you for you and what you are without condition. THIS is really the most important reason that Asian chicks totally rule!

So, as you can see, there really isn’t much argument to this. Asian chicks totally freaking rule. While it is true that there are a few white chicks who rock too, mostly ones who are really talented, smart or mixed race, most of them just don’t stack up to the overall awesomeness of Asian babes.


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In other news yesterday on IWS Matt-Man and I broke down and analyzed The Hunger Games like no one else ever has. Then we discussed things that we hunger for and let me tell, that was a pretty impressive list of stuff from the tangible to the “oh you’re just dreaming now.” It was another quality 45 minutes of Awesome Sauce that will satisfy all your hungers. Hell, this show was so damn good that even Dana got her first ever “Hey-OOOO.” So, how could you not listen? You gotta!  



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