Monday, October 17, 2011

Men Get Screwed and Women are Liars


You know who’s really got it rough in this country? You know who’s really being discriminated against? You know who’s really getting the short end of every stick?

MEN! That’s who.

Folks, things have just gotten out of hand here. It’s bad enough that we have all these stupid holidays and observances that have basically become “What are men getting for women” days. But shit, it’s pretty much open season on men. All you have to do is watch sitcoms and all these cell phone and beer ads and men always depicted as weak, stupid, lazy or all three.

And look at how much time and money is spent on women’s medical issues. You’ve got every single men’s pro sports leagues wearing pink at different times to raise money and “awareness” for breast cancer research. Do you see women’s sports leagues making a big deal over prostate cancer? Fuck no.

Hell, every Wednesday is “Boobie Wednesday” on Twitter where women show off cleavage and their boobs. Again, this is done to raise breast cancer awareness. But, is there a “Testicles Tuesday” for testicular cancer awareness? Fuck no.  

We put most of our educational focus on women too. Well over 50% people attending undergraduate colleges in America are women. Same goes for most graduate level and law schools. And, well over 50% of academic scholarships got to women too. This happens despite the fact that we all know that women suck at math.

And then, after getting those very expensive degrees what do women do? They work for about three years and then leave to go be “homemakers” and declare that their new job title is “mommy.” THEENNN, after like 10 years, when they’re finished squeezing out puppies and the kids are in grade school, they just show up at their old company expecting to be not only given their old job back, but to be installed into the position they would be in had they never left.

Worst of all people is that women are just full of shit. They make a HUGE deal about how they like men who are nice, decent, good, and sensitive or have a good sense of humor and shit like that. They love to bitch about men who treat them like crap and yell at them and cheat on them and all that shit too.

But, you know what? That’s what women prefer. They love being treated like shit. They love being cheated on. They love men who don’t help out around the house. They love men who don’t do their share to raise the kids. THAT’S THE WAY WOMEN WANT IT!

You know why men lean out the window of their car and wolf whistle at women and then put their fingers on the edges of their mouths and wag their tongues at them? Because it fucking works, that’s why. Those are the dudes who always have women all over them. How many guys do you know who treat women like crap and cheat on their significant others repeatedly who are lacking for female companionship? FUCKING ZERO! THAT’S HOW MANY!

Hell, remember Scott Peterson? Killed his gorgeous pregnant wife Laci and his hot as hell mistress Amber Frey finally ratted him out on what a shitbag he was? He gets hundreds and hundreds of marriage proposals from women every year. Yeah, dude beheaded his pregnant wife and dumped her body in the bay. He’s a great catch ladies!

What a load of shit. Guys, we might as well all just go gay. We’ll actually be treated decently by women if we do that. Sure, there’s that whole anal sex thing, but that probably only hurts for a little bit. On the positive side, we’ll actually get those blow jobs we love so much a lot more regularly. So it’s not all bad.

It’s either that, or just all become womanizing, cheating, abusive insensitive pricks.

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In other news, our “Sweetest Day and Men Get Screwed Again” episode on I’m With Stupid on Saturday was a huge hit! The ratings are going through the roof. And why wouldn’t they? The show was pretty much non-stop fun and jocularity. So, we would love it if you would be so kind as to check it out. We thank you for your support. 

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