Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Back Alley Abortion Cafe is Ruined


Hola! As you have probably heard, Oklahoma State Senator Ralph “Pee-Wee” Shortey has introduced a bill that would BAN the use of aborted fetuses in food.  Now, you might be wondering if this was something that needs to be legislated against. Well, the answer is YES! In fact, his bill has ruined my dream of opening restaurants in Oklahoma City and Tulsa that specialize in Fetus Meat. Here’s the menu I had put together.

Welcome to the Back Alley Abortion Café!

Appetizers, Salads and Soups …

Fried Fetus Sticks w/ a Tangy Marinara Sauce
Bacon Wrapped Fetus Fingers w/ Ranch Dressing
Spicy Fetus Wings
Placenta Soup
Fetus Spring Rolls

Thick and Hearty Chunky Fetus Stew
Cajun Style Fetus and Shrimp Gumbo
Stem Cell Salad with Fetus Toes Sprinkled About
Caesar Salad w/ House Vinegar, Oil and Amino Fluid Dressing
Crunchy Parmesan Fetus Tenders w/ Dipping Sauces
(All White Meat)  

Lunch and Dinner …

Southwestern Style Smoked Fetus Wrap
French Dip Fetus Sandwich w/ Garlic Placenta Dipping Sauce
Grilled Fetus and Swiss Toasted Sandwich
Fetus Brains Tartare
Whole Rotisserie Fetus Slow Cooked Over Open Coals
(The crispy skin is our favorite!)

Giant Late Term Ground Fetus Burger
Hickory Smoked Fetus w/ Baked Potato
Blackened Cajun Style Fetus Served Over Wild Rice
Chicken Fried Fetus Covered in Country Gravy & a Side of Collard Greens
Classic Fetus Liver and Onions

Desserts …

Fetus Ice Cream w/ Chocolate Syrup
Fetus Brownie w/ Vanilla Ice Cream and Chocolate Syrup
Frosty Fetus Shake (Chocolate, Vanilla or Almond)

As you can see, this would have been a really big hit in downtown OKC! But, now they’ll have to travel out of state to enjoy my culinary creations. Once again, just like with explicit porn and high alcohol content beer, the good people of Oklahoma are being deprived of something great by the republicans anti-small business and job killing legislation.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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In other, only slightly less offensive news, we had a great time bashing men Saturday in our “Men are Pigs” episode of I’m With Stupid podcast. We really let men have it. We clobbered them for their lack of sensitivity, rudeness, conceit and general bad manners and lack of decent grammar skills.

We also checked in with our new gay correspondent Joshua who is FABULOUS! And, of course we classed the joint up a bit with our weekly feature “Pee Break with Schmoop!” So, give it a listen, it was really an outstanding show.


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