Matt Said, Jay Said XLV

Matt _  ._ ._.. _._ … Jay _  ._ ._.. _._ …  You, ._.. .. … _ . _.

Matt:  Hello?
Jay:  Yo Dawg?
Matt:  Did you just say, “Yo dawg?”
Jay:  Yeah, I’m trying to be more hip and down with urban sub-cultures.
Matt:  Well, stop it.
Jay:  Word.

Matt:  Big show this Sunday, so maybe we should take notes during this call.
Jay:  I always take notes during our Thursday call.
Matt:  What are you saying?
Jay:  That you don’t.
Matt:  And you would be correct.  I’ll have Schmoop take my notes.
Jay:  Good idea, wouldn’t want you to have to strain yourself.
Matt:  I don’t multi-task well…My idea of multi-tasking is taking a crap and reading the comics at the same time.

Jay:  So…the lovely and talented Carrie Welch, formerly of the Food Network will be on our show Sunday at Noon ET, how do we approach this?
Matt:  We have to grow up and be mature.
Jay:  And quickly
Matt:  We are professionals.  We can do this.
Jay:  Well, I know I can.
Matt:  What are you saying?
Jay:  That perhaps you probably need to work at it.
Matt:  And you would be correct.  I’ll have Schmoop school me in this area.
Jay:  Good idea.

Matt:  Carrie is going to be a great guest…all talented and funny and what not.
Jay:  I know; she’ll add to our show what it has sorely been lacking.
Matt: What are you saying?
Jay:  That sometimes our show isn’t all that funny.
Matt:  I know, and I blame that on the audience.
Jay:  Uh-huh.

Matt:  Anyhoo…We will dish it with the lovely Ms, Welch Sunday at Noon ET, and get the dirt on the chefs of the Food Network, and talk about her amazing journey that she is now upon..
Jay:  It’s gonna be huge!!
Matt:  It’s gonna be Yum-O!!
Jay:  It’s gonna go, BAM!!

Matt:  BAM?  What are you saying?
Jay:  That I’ll do fine with Carrie and you’ll fall on your face.
Matt:  And you would be correct.  Damn it; I knew it.  Really?
Jay:  Nooooooo, it was a reference to Emeril Lagasse, ya goof.
Matt:  Oh….Who’s that?
Jay:  Oh boy!!
Matt:  I think we’re good to go.
Jay:  Damn right.

So catch Jayman and Matt-Man live with Carrie Welch at Noon ET Sunday July 8th on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio, the three of them will be dishin’ a smorgasbord of fun.

IWS...Hatin' the Haters...and Lookin' for Some Facebook Love of Our Own.

Hiya Chuckleheads!!

Matt-Man here, and yes, I know, we usually do MSJS on Saturdays, but I have a few housekeeping items I would like to cover in regards to the IWS website and radio show.

First of all, Jayman and I would like to thank Carrie Welch, the former VP of Public Relations of The Television Food Network for commenting on Thursday’s post, a post which included a quasi-real, albeit not exactly true replication of what she most definitely did not actually say to Jayman in reference to his Wednesday post about how The Food Network these days, pretty much sucks.

Ms. Welch actually finds us funny and intimated in her comment that she would like to be a guest on our show sometime, which we would truly enjoy.

Let’s just hope that the lovely and fun-loving Ms. Welch’s remark is more truthful than the letter I wrote in her name.  But seriously, it was very nice of her, and we will beg her to be on work on scheduling her for a show in the very near future.

Secondly…

Did you know that IWS Radio has a Facebook Page?  No, we really do, it’s true!!  And…

156 of you adorable heathens know that, however…

Many of you have not “liked” our IWS Facebook Page.  In a word?  That’s just not right.

I mean c’mon…Everyday, either on the website and/or the radio twice a week, we provide you with quality entertainment at a fair price, and what do we get in return?

A mere 156 likes on our FB page and a whole lotta heartache.  It pains me to tell you that being the manly men that Jayman and I are, we sometimes cry over that fact, but….we do.

We’re only human, folks…and we yearn for your love, or in this case…your “like.”

Hell tell your friends to “like” us; you don’t even have to yourself, if you get them to do it for you.  Hell, we’re not picky.

Merely click on the IWS RADIO FACEBOOK PAGE and like us.  Yes, it’s that easy.

If the lovely Carrie Welch can take the time to comment on our website and offer to be on our radio show, you can take the time to like us two moronic, yet affable fellas on our Facebook page…..

Please?

And while we will work to schedule the lovely Ms. Welch for a soonly future show, this Sunday on IWS Radio live at Noon ET, Jayman and I will be scouring away all the hate from life and social media.

Man…cat fights, loud neighbors, bluntness beyond on belief…It was a hate-filled week, and we will be calling the haters out and try to bring peace and serenity to the world.

To catch us live Sunday at Noon ET…Click HERE for the Haters Gonna Hate II show on IWS on Blog Talk Radio.

Until then, this is the always loving, and not-a-hate-filled bone-in-my-body, Matt-Man bidding you…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

The Food Network Sucks

Hola foodies and cooks! Hey! Let me ask you guys a question. Is it just me, or does Food Network fucking suck? I swear FN used to be so damn cool, but now? I can barely stand to watch any of it. Yes, even Giada de Laurentiis. Hell, especially Giada. Like I fucking care about her precious over-privileged spoiled little snowflake’s love of chocolate and Russian caviar. Big fucking deal.

I really never thought I would come to this point in my life where I hated Food Network so much. Oh sure, I probably should have known it would happen. Especially after the way HGTV has disappointed me over the last few years. I know nothing ever stays the same, but why change it to something so shitty?

Just as HGTV went away from lots of great home improvement and gardening shows to stupid high end home updates and non-stop real estate glorification crap, Food Network has gone from instructional cooking shows with smart, talented hosts to preparing fancy, expensive meals with fabulous celebrity chefs and their super rich friends. And if they aren’t doing that on FN, they’re celebrating eating 17 lb hamburgers or hanging out with the regular folk at some dive with the biggest fucking douchebag in the world Guy Fieri.

Remember the good old days? You know, back when you could turn on and Sara Moulton would be making a good, affordable meal and actually showing and telling you how it was made? Or Mario would be explaining how to make good Italian food? Or Emeril would be reminding you that there’s no reason to be afraid of cooking and that it isn’t rocket science? Now, all of their hosts are pretending that cooking is almost as difficult as brain surgery and treating chefs as if they actually were brain surgeons.

AND THE SALT! Oh sweet Jesus the salt! Every single show I watch, I find myself screaming at the TV to back off the salt. Hosts like CHEF Anne Burrell will say things like “we have to salt each step in the process.” Well, maybe so, but you don’t have drain the Great Salt Lake to get enough salt to do it with.

How ‘bout ruining a good steak? They can all do it. Take a really great piece of meat and smother it with blue cheese so you won’t be able to taste the meat anymore. What’s the point of that? Why do they always insist on covering up the taste of the food they’re preparing? Same goes for pasta. We all love cheese, but why pile up the asiago or parmesan so high? The asiago is spicy and parmesan is salty! And worst of all, you don’t ALWAYS have to substitute ground turkey for ground beef.

Hell, they can’t even spare the desserts. They just have to add things like Cayenne Pepper to chocolate. Give it a fucking rest! Everything doesn’t have to be gourmet.  Everything doesn’t have to be full of spices and herbs. Sometimes it’s best to just let the food speak for itself.

And a couple of other things that really bug me too. When you grab a spoon and stir the sauces and then taste it, don’t STICK THE GODDAMN SPOON BACK INTO THE SAUCE! You might as well just stick your finger in it you disgusting freak. And, if you don’t mind, when you’re handling poultry and seafood, doing things like cutting it up, fileting or maybe removing that digestive tract from shrimp, wear some food safe gloves. It grosses me out.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS