Tuesday, April 3, 2012

"Christians" Ain't Got A Clue

“You need to give your life over to Christ.”

While in the throes of Super Happy Hole-ly Jesus Week™,  I posted on Facebook, Monday, that I wanted to have a sex change and become a lesbian porn star…

In reference to my remark, the aforementioned comment was internettally uttered toward me in the form of a Facebook comment by a woman whom I can only assume, professes herself to be a Christian.

While my response to her was something along the lines of, “Jesus and I are tight.”, I really wanted to say to her…

“Blow me you presumptuous bitch with the Glamour Shot picture.  How do you know that I am not one with The Lord, and secondly, what does your declarative statement actually mean?

Does “giving my life to Christ” involve giving up smoking, drinking, out of wedlock sex, and refraining from making jokes about having a sex change and becoming a lesbian porn star?

Well…in the eyes of the woman who said this and many other “Christians”, yes, yes it does…However…

None of that shit makes a bit of difference in the eyes of The Almighty nor His Righteous, yet Bastard Offspring, Jesus Christ.

Nope.

In Matthew 5:3-12, we learn what the J-Man and his Pappy are all about.

Helping the poor.  Comforting those who mourn.  Lifting up the meek.  Refreshing those who hunger and thirst, and so on.

The Beatitudes people…The great Sermon on the Mount.  Those are words and directives that matter, and I try to adhere to that philosophy every damn day.

The chick who commented, “You need to give your life over to Jesus Christ.” probably doesn’t understand any of that.  And, she is not alone.

Many “Christians” think that the only way to heaven is to read a text that they do not understand, go to church on Sundays and well…sometimes Wednesdays, and most importantly, judge others.

These folks who lie moribund in their theology, doctrine, and ideology, think that stoicism and respectful silence are the pathways to Heaven.

Ha…Christ was a rebel!!

Jesus Christ was the James Dean of the First Century AD!!

He had a sense of humor…He ultimately took down an Empire…He turned water into wine, all the while saying, “Dig this; watch what I can do, Paul!!”

And they lauuuuuughed…

Far too many “Christians” like the commenter I mention, are stolid, inertiated, ass clowns who don’t see the true joy and will of Christ.

Christ isn’t a pretentious fella.  He’s a rad ass maniac who makes things happen, and hangs out with hookers, betrayers, and thieving tax collectors.

Christ doesn’t care what the hell one does, as long as they hurt no other, help when they can, and follow his sermon.  And yeah…

It’s that simple.

Following or not following the teachings of Christ cannot be summated and dissolved into a stupid lesbian sex change joke.

Following or not following his teachings is summed up by the lives we lead.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

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